Post # 31
I don’t think parents should blur the line between friend and parent until the child is no longer a child. My mom passed away when I was 17, before I had the chance to develop an adult relationship, because I wasn’t an adult yet, myself. However my dad and I have developed a fantastic friendship that evolved from him being an awesome parent.
I think the crux of the issue is that so many parents never try to develop the parent muscle of the relationship and just try to be friends. They force it. I think that if youre a good parent, the friendship will arise organically.
Post # 32
My mom and I had a very strained relationship growing up which was partially influenced by other family members. We’re slowly mending that relationship, but it’s taking a lot of time. We can get along now, but it’s a bit farfetched for us to be friends. It’s in part due to my resentment of her and her of mine. We can “hang out” but probably not more than a few hours at a time. I think this is due to us being very similiar that we don’t get along.
My aunt, however is a more easy going person and we get along great. I think when her kids grow up a little more (they’re just starting college), she’ll be good friends with them. Something about her personality, maybe it’s her empathy and her eagerness to participate in “younger people’s activities” that makes her easier to relate to. She doesn’t judge, trusts us to make the right choices and lets us learn from our own fuck ups. In a sense, kids will fuck up some things no matter how much they think they know and having someone to talk to like that could make a parent friend-worthy. If I have daughters, I really do want to be like this.