(Closed) Can my family throw me a shower after the wedding?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

Of course – it would be fine!  You have a legit reason for not being able to have one beforehand.  My best friend had a baby shower after the baby was born (she was a premie!) so why not a wedding shower after the wedding?!  The sentament is the same… these people love you and want to shower you with that love.  Enjoy it! 

Post # 4
Member
2237 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

If that’s what works for you, then do it!  There are no set in stone rules/times for weddings anymore!  And, I’m sure everyone will understand.

Post # 5
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It’s not a shower if it’s held after the wedding. You can have a housewarming party but that is a completely different environment and the rules of etiquette for a shower don’t apply in that case.  

Post # 6
Member
3576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think that’s a great idea considering your situation!  And personally, I would throw caution to the wind about about etiquette.  If you want to call it a shower, call it a shower.  Since you didn’t have one, you’re entitled!!!!!!  Have fun!

Post # 7
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

If I wasn’t your very good friend and didn’t know your situation well I would be put off by it!

But I think it will be OK if you invite only close friends and family who know your situation very well!

Post # 8
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I have been to a bridal shower that was held after the wedding. I don’t know the reason why they waited until after the wedding to have the shower, they did have a small destination wedding, so maybe that had something to do with it… but I went and we had a great time, we just didn’t do any “bridal shower” games, it was a lovely lunch. I wasn’t put off at all, b/c she didnt’ have one before the wedding and every bride deserves her day!

Post # 9
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I would call this a housewarming party where people get you things for your house (just like a wedding shower).  It’s not a shower (nor proper to call it a shower for any reason) if you’re already married. 

Post # 10
Member
2201 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think the “shower” part throws me. Maybe just call it your “Canadian reception”?

Post # 11
Member
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Go for it!

Post # 12
Member
40 posts
Newbee

I don’t understand the hang up on the word “shower”. The point of the gathering is for friends and family to shower the person with their love and support (in their presence, and their presents). I personally wouldn’t call it a “bridal” shower. Perhaps a wedding shower? It would be great to have a wedding shower and have both men/women together for a reception celebration! I’m having a surprise wedding, and am trying to figure out the “shower” timing as well. I wouldn’t be offended in the least to attend your post-wedding shower!

Post # 13
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’d call it something else. If I was invited to a “shower” after the wedding and I wasn’t your best friend I would find it odd. I like the “house-warming” party idea like a PP said.

Post # 14
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Also if I was being invited to an after the wedding shower that means I probably already gave you a pretty awesome wedding gift since I didn’t have to spring for two. I’d be irritated.

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