(Closed) Can my grandmother host my Bridal Shower?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Okay, so technical I think etiquette would say no to grandma throwing you a shower but there are certain things that have definitely fallen by the wayside and I think that is one. Granted, I also think that you have to consider your guests – i.e. what are they used to?

For example, in my social circles a cash bar would be the end of my reputation. However, there are loads of places were cash bars are taken for granted and totally the norm. So, have you been to a shower thrown by a family member before?

Post # 3
Member
849 posts
Busy bee

paigey22:  The reason why it was considered rude for a mother to throw a shower is because it used to be the girl still lived at home and was a dependent of her parents.  Therefore it would look like the mom begging for the daughter.  Since it is exetended family throwing you a shower among family, I see no issue with it.

Post # 4
Member
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I’m confused, haven’t you been married for a few months? Not sure why a bridal shower would be appropriate even if it weren’t your family member throwing it. 

Post # 5
Member
824 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I see nothing wrong with a family member throwing a shower anyway, nowadays, but especially if your grandmother is only inviting your family then you are not likely to offend people who might be stuck on the “tradition” of the shower not hosted by family.

Post # 6
Member
1445 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Do what you like. Anyone who disagrees is welcome not to attend. 

Post # 7
Member
5153 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

paigey22:  Totally fine! I also think a mom can throw you a bridal shower – I don’t believe in that silly etiquette, to be honest. 

Post # 8
Member
893 posts
Busy bee

I think it’s totally fine. I also think the idea that a mom can’t host a bridal shower is outdated anyway. I see no reason for anyone to be offended.

Post # 9
Member
1576 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think you should make sure that your family does not get invited to MOH’s shower. And I’d make sure invites to Nana’s shower are out well before MOH’s shower happens. That way your immediate family knows they are having their own shower and don’t feel obligated to send presents to MOH’s shower. As long as all of that gets sorted out, it seems fine to me.

Post # 10
Member
3228 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Kaymar:  yep, this. Op, aren’t you already married?

Post # 11
Member
783 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

It was etiquette many years ago that family should not host as it seemed they were asking for gifts; however (and according to Emily Post-I doubled checked) it is less frowned upon now. “Family members frequently step in to host showers, especially when common sense dictates such a solution.”

IMO, it is 2015 and bridal showers are not this secret thing. You don’t want one? Don’t have one. You want one? Speak up. If no one is willing to host, them you’re out of luck. I would never in a million years think “oh gift grabby” if a shower is hosted by a family member (in fact it’s common in my area). If people are offended, then… nevermind. I won’t go there.

Have your grandmother host one, but only invite those not invited to the shower hosted by the Maid/Matron of Honor. That does seem gift grabby!

Post # 12
Member
5153 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Kaymar:  carolinabelle:  Why do you guys think she’s already married? Another post she wrote says her wedding is September 2015…

Post # 14
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

They are both offering to throw you a shower so I would just accept it. What if your Maid/Matron of Honor was your sister? Should she not arrange it bc she is family? 

Post # 15
Member
94 posts
Worker bee

If you are married – courthouse or otherwise – it would be inappropriate to accept a bridal shower.

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