(Closed) Can not believe my family (vent)

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
4521 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It’s absolutely fine to plan in your head or daydream a bit – and even to think about possible venues.  But I agree with your mom – don’t do much more than that. 

Assuming everything goes perfectly, and you get engaged, your guy will probably have some opinions about the wedding… you could put in all this work and find out he would prefer something totally different. You will have plenty of time to plan post-engagement (and your engagement can be as long as you and Fiance choose).

Post # 20
2259 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I can see where your family is coming from, it’s great they like this guy but they might just be cautious people and won’t be super excited about it till the wedding actually happens. As an encouragement, I planned a super DIY wedding with my now-husband and we did 99.9% of the projects ourselves. It took us 6 months. It can be done! Enjoy your relationship as it is now and now that you can do a lot more than you think you can. 

Post # 21
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2023

I think you need to back off and calm down a little. Just enjoy being with your man. When (or if) he proposes, just enjoy being engaged. You don’t have to immediately jump in with both feet and go at it like a maniac, making aisle runners etc

Just enjoy being your own person!


I’m getting a slight wolfpackforever vibe from all these posts though… and we know how that turned out…

Post # 25
112 posts
Blushing bee

@SerenityLove:  There’s no need to get snippy. People are just trying to offer up opinions to help you. No one is saying there is anything wrong with visualizing what you want for a wedding. I had tons of favorites saved and whatnot before I got engaged. But it does seem like you are getting lost in all the little details (like aisle runners) before you are even engaged. And perhaps that is why you got the reaction you did from your parents, because they’re worried that you’re planning a wedding without being engaged.

Post # 26
2583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

FTR – I don’t blame her for getting defensive after being compared to Wolfpack.  How else would we expect her to react to being compared to someone who was clearly mentally ill, come on now…not nice.


(BUT!!!)  …OP, I still stand by what I said in your other post.  You’re rushing it. You’re creating problems where there aren’t any.  Just stop and enjoy the present.  If 50+ people are saying the same thing – at least entertain the idea they MIGHT have a clue?? Mayhaps?



Post # 27
1623 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Wait? Didn’t this already exist? And get closed?

Either way…wait to see how they feel once you’re engaged, then judge and react based on that (because really, the reaction once you are engaged is the more important one)

Post # 28
112 posts
Blushing bee

@mandypop:  I agree about her getting defensive about being compared to wolfpack…but this whole thread seems so…hostile.

Post # 29
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

but i want an oompa loompa now!!!!

Post # 30
233 posts
Helper bee

I have had my dream wedding designed for years.  I know exactly what I want, what I don’t, and what it will likely cost. My parents are probably sick from hearing me talk about my “one day” wedding.  I haven’t purchased anything, but once I get the ring all I have to do is hit “go.”  🙂 I say keep dreaming and planning.  I think it’s even fine to talk about.  Just know that you’re not actually engaged yet and that you shouldn’t spend a dime or make any reservations until you actually are.

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