(Closed) Can our relationship survive?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think you are right to take a step back from the engagement/wedding stuff and just focus on your relationship. Sometimes a ring can make girls go crazy (not saying you are!) but at the end of the day the ring/engagement/wedding doesn’t mean anything if the relationship is broken. I’d keep doing what you’ve been doing the past week and focus on each other and making each other happy. Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Doesn’t sound broken…you are taking the right steps.  Focus on your relationship now.  Engagement and marriage bring pretty rings, but not much change to the relationship.  Start building now.

Post # 5
Member
1090 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

HECK NO, its not over girl! If the love is there, itll come back! We all have to take steps back sometimes. Continue to work on your relationship and don’t give up.

Good Luck and hugs!

Post # 6
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

You should go to a doctor instead of trying to self diagnose yourself. Maybe you haven’t been together long enough to really know each other’s habits. That’s the point of dating. To give yourself time to actually get to know the person and find out if you really want to be with this person every day. You need way more than love to make a relationship work.

Post # 8
Member
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I wouldn’t say your relationship is over!!  I would suggest to just have a LONG engagement.  The hardest time for my husband and I in our 8+ years relationship was when we moved in together full time and had to find a schedule that worked and get used to being in each others space.  You could still be going through that adjustment period.  What’s life without a little crazy every now and then?

Post # 9
Member
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

It sounds like you guys are becoming more realistically paced, quite frankly. I think engagement after a few months is really, really fast. You are probably realizing that you’re coming out of the initial lust-goggle honeymoon phase. Taking time to focus on your relationship instead of continually running through exciting relationship milestones is really really important.

Post # 10
Member
911 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think a lot of couples go through this. They get overly excited about the wedding and forget to focus on the relationship. I think if you guys want to make it work, you will. Good luck and keep us posted!

Post # 11
Member
1636 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

If the love is still there you are not destined for doom. 

Can you find a hobby so when he plays his video games, you can occupy yourself, so you dont need him to have fun?  MY husband plays video games constantly.  I scrapbook, its what we do.  It keeps us who we are as individuals. 

Just a thought…

Ronney

 

Post # 12
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I don’t think it’s doomed,  but I think some more time needs to pass before things get that serious. At 4 months I barely knew what my guy’s likes/dislikes were!

Just slow things down and enjoy them! 🙂

Post # 13
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think you’re both smart for taking a step back and analyzing the relationship. The engagement can wait – it will be something nice to work towards as a couple. He seems to be a smart man. I think many men are too scared to admit things are wrong.

Post # 14
Member
5885 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

If you know you are right for each other, what’s the rush? He’ll still be the right guy a year (or two or five) from now. But relationships are living organisms, that can be killed if you don’t raise them correctly. They need time and nuturing–e-ring and wedding stuff is just like over watering and too much fertilizer.

SLow down and just let the relationship grow naturally.

 

Post # 15
Member
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yes I think you guys can DEFINITELY work this out. My finace and I actually have a similar story (in some ways). We have gone to school together since elementary, became friends in high school, and literally from the first day we started talking we KNEW we were going to get married some day. Now, since we were 16 we obviously weren’t going to actually get married, but I can tell you that had we been older we probably would have done EXACTLY what you two did (instead we waited 5 years to get engaged since we were so young).

I think you should just tell him you want to “forget” about the ring. I know how insanely hard it will be to stop talking about it, because I’ve been there. Only, with me I wouldn’t stop talking about when he was going to BUY it, since you know he’s already bought it maybe you can just tell yourself that it will come and just forget about it. Tell him to wait until he is ready and comfortable with everything, and try and focus on your relationship.

There’s all sorts of books out there, one that comes to mind is “101 questions to ask before you get engaged”. My fiance and I looked at that one. We had already talked about most of the stuff, but depending on how well you know each other you could get a LOT out of it. I recommend something like that. 

And as a nurse and a daughter of someone who got a CPAP I can 100% vouch that it would make you much more energetic, not to mention the enormous health benefits.  

Post # 16
Member
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I also defintiely agree that you should find a hobby to do while he plays video games (read, scrapbook, exercise, sew, etc. etc. etc.) My finace plays video games a lot as well, but I don’t mind because I LOVE to read, and I get hooked on these projects so I don’t even notice!

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