Post # 1
You know when you plan for that big surprise for someone, you love to hear them get excited, you love to hear them guess, you love to see how happy the thought of it makes them?
So, I haven’t initiated any marriage or engagement related conversation or comments since (mid?) March…actually, maybe longer because he might have brought it up in March…who knows? 🙂 If he makes a comment about it, I typically smile or have only one small thing to say. Not awkward. I just let the comment come and go. It’s not an extremely conscious effort and gets easier and easier the more time passes. But I had a thought today:
Is there a chance that a lack of outward, verbal excitement about the prospect could put a damper on a guy’s excitement about wanting to get things going? It’s not like you’re being negative about the subject, you just aren’t offering any extra information. You’re living life and you just aren’t trying to actively discuss the topic. What do you think? Is partial silence the best policy or can it be interpreted by a guy as disinterest?
Post # 3
I think that silence only backfires when it means that you haven’t communicated fully about expectations/wants/needs/etc. But if you’ve done that, it can’t hurt to take the pressure off him for a bit.
Post # 4
I think it could hurt your guy’s feelings. My SO loves to hear me get excited about getting married and has said so. If I suddenly stopped, I know he’d have doubts about my enthusiasm because we’ve been together for so long he may fear I’ve given up on him or something. We are very open with our communication, but he has a tendency to let his fears and insecurities get to him.
Post # 5
I didn’t want to pressure my husband, since we hadn’t been dating that long. I figured I’d wait until our year anniversary, and then give it a little more time before I started talking about it. He proposed at 11 months without any marriage talk. We had a good relationship, we both knew where we wanted it to go, and I think if he wants to ask he will. Like you said, it’s nice to not have the talk b/c then you get the big surprise, and if you’re always talking about it he might just have trouble finding the right time to surprise you.
Post # 6
@LaurenK0105: I feel the same way, especially if he enjoys talking with you about it. But it depends on the man.
Post # 7
@LaurenK0105: I think your right, my bf knows how I feel and we have a time line, I think as long as you have that much it wouldnt hurt to take the pressure off and not bring it up much
Post # 8
It all depends on the man… Mine has said not to talk about it and it will happen but if it is always talked about hhow will he ever surprise me? That is what he said anyways…. I will be surprised no matter what.. But of course things come up where myself or him will say something about marriage then let it go…
@artbee: I am in the same situation you were in… our 1 year is July 3rd and I know he almost has the money to buy the ring.. By the end of May he will have more then enough. So maybe it will be before our 1 year or for our 1 year who knows… To me though I dont think it will be for our 1 year since he knows I will be expecting it and it wont be much of a surprise ….once again thats the way he thinks.. I know it will be before August that is what he said anyways… He knows what I want and when I want to get married so its all in his hands now…