Post # 17
We have a bassinet in our bedroom that our newborn sleeps in because he breastfeeds about every 2 hours, and I need to hear him wake up when he’s hungry. I wouldn’t want to wait until he was crying to try to nurse him because its harder to get an upset baby to latch. Sometimes he won’t fall back asleep in the bassinet, so we lay him on one of us and do the pinky in his mouth thing to soothe him while we catch a few zzzzz’s. It would feel instinctly wrong to me to have him in a separate room so soon, but that’s just me.
Post # 18
@Katnisseverdeen: This was most of why DS slept with me; he wouldn’t sleep flat on his back for more than an hour at a time (congestion issues), so for the first year, he slept in the crook of my arm. It allowed both of us to get rest, and allowed me to feed him more easily at night. We slept in a different room from my ex (he didn’t do well if sleep deprived, and marriage was on the fritz), so there wasn’t the concern of the loss of intimacy or DS being smushed. He rolled off of our low bed exactly once during that year and otherwise was perfectly fine. After the year mark, I was more comfortable letting him sleep with a pillow in his crib and he was able to start sleeping on his own.
Post # 19
My SiL/BIL co-slept with my niece, she will be 3 next week and has issues sleeping alone. Half the time my Brother-In-Law ended up having to sleep in a differ room cause niece wouldn’t leave room for 3 people in their bed.
I personally am against co sleeping. Our muchkin sleeps in his crib in his own room at night.
Post # 20
I am sure I will get slammed for this but I will explain my reasonings. I have co-slept with my son since he was about 6 months old. We first had him in a bassinett and then when he was 6 months or so, we had him between my husband and I, in some baby sleeper thing made for co-sleeping (had soft side rails). My husband and I are light sleepers (and yes, I have read the dangers of co-sleeping). It all started b/c my son has ALWAYS been a horrible sleeper…waking up a minimum of 5 times a night for the first 4-5 years of his life. The longest he ever slept was when he happened to fall asleep with me one might when he was a baby. He also had night terrors as he became older. He also came home on an apnea monitor for two weeks when he was born since he was born 6 weeks early and that monitor would go off in the middle of the night if he moved, not for apnea issues. So from the start, I was always paranoid something would happen to him at night.
Aside from all that, I slept with my parents til I was in elementary school. Either my mom would sleep with me and sneak out of the bed after I fell asleep or she would stay all night, b/c I wanted her near me. Or, I would crawl into bed with her and my dad when I would have bad dreams or just didn’t want to sleep by myself.
I still sleep with my son now and he’s 6, almost 7. He tells me he’s scared at night and snuggles up right next to me. Does my husband mind? No, not at all. I was a Stay-At-Home Mom for 5 years before returning to work this past year and my husband is a light sleeper. If I were to be with him and run to my son’s room every time he woke up (during all of these years), my husband would get no sleep. And no, we have no problems with intimacy.
For us, I love co-sleeping. One day my son will kick me out and I’ll never get this time again…me snuggling with him at night. Sure, it’s not for everyone but I see nothing wrong with it. I feel that it has provided my son with security. Sure, others can argue that it doesn’t but they are not in my house and they don’t know my son and I. And being a mom and having friends who are moms, I can tell you…alot of people do this but don’t tell the truth. I’m not saying everyone, just more parents than let on.
Please no rude responses. I just wanted to honestly say why we co-sleep in our family.
Post # 21
I co-slept regularly with my daughter (most nights in the week) until she was well over a year old. Maybe 18-20 months? I’m not sure. And after that when she was old enough to sleep in a bed, she still regularly came in my bed during the night. She’s now 8 and is a very independent child, but will still on occasion come in at night to visit. If she’s sick or had a nightmare, I’ll often let her stay but usually will give her a quick snuggle and send her back to bed.
We co-slept from birth because she breastfed and woke often. I was still in school and needed as much sleep as possible, and nursing her in bed allowed me to sleep a decent amount and still give her the feedings and comfort she wanted. I also just plain liked to snuggle with her. I’m well aware of the dangers that are possible in co-sleeping, but I’ve also lived elsewhere in the world where everyone co-sleeps (and many parents expressed shock and discomfort with the idea of putting one’s child somewhere separate from them) and know that there are safe ways of co-sleeping if that’s what you and your child want to do. We really enjoyed co-sleeping.
I was fairly big on following my daughter’s cues as a young child with what she wanted and needed, and co-sleeping was definitely best for both of us in my opinion. My SO definitely isn’t a fan of co-sleeping (not for safety reasons, more for comfort) so I suspect future babies will not be co-sleepers… Although as I’ve said, given that I’ll be breastfeeding any new babies, I might get a bit more say as I do love my sleep.
Post # 22
We still cosleep with our daughter and she is 3. When she was a baby it was easier because I was breastfeeding. She did sleep in her crib for awhile but she always woke up at 3 am and I’d bring her back to bed with me. I’m a light sleeper and never had any concerns with rolling over on her or anything like that.
Now that’s she older we’ve talked about moving her to her own bed. Honestly Darling Husband is the one holding back. I’ll put her to bed in her room and he’ll go get her for no reason and bring her to our bed. He loves cuddling with his little girl. People definitely have opinions about it and I think each family should do what works for them. People always confess to me, “Oh our child slept with us till she/he was 8 or whatever.” I think it’s a lot more common than people realize.
Oh and our daughter is very secure and independent. She’s not clingy at all.
Post # 23
We registered for a pack n play with the bassinet and changing table options, so for now our plan is to have that beside the bed for easy reach, at least for a few months.
But I’m curious, for those who co-sleep, what size bed do you have? It’s something Darling Husband and I have casually talked about, but we currently have a full size bed and there’s just barely enough room for the two us, so I’m wondering what size you have/had that you feel/felt comfortable co-sleeping.
Post # 24
@Mrs Sarah McK: Queen size. My son went from a bassinet to our king bed for a short time and then a queen bed with me.
Post # 25
@Mrs Sarah McK: We have a king and Darling Husband and I both almost fall off the bed. My daughter sleeps sideways and takes up all the room. When she was a baby we had a queen and even though she was tiny it was still way too small.
Post # 26
Thank you all so much for the information! It’s very interesting to see all of the reasons people choose to co-sleep. The idea is still a little foreign to Darling Husband and I, but I’m sure we’ll understand the convenience of co-sleeping a lot better once LO gets here and we’re awake all hours of the night 🙂
@Mrs. Spring: Yes! I’m sorry I didn’t give you proper mention in the original post 🙂 Thank you for explaining more in depth and for the data about the ideology behind your choice.
Post # 27
@CEtoSAHM: Lol, no worries. 🙂
I think the majority of parents do end up co-sleeping, even if it’s not on a regular or consistent basis, simply because newborns often sleep better next to a parent. A lot of parents don’t necessarily admit it, though; I think it’s kind of a controversial subject.
Post # 28
Like some of the others in this thread, we started co-sleeping with our daughter because I was nursing and she was a terrible sleeper. My mom bought us a bed (the Close and Secure Sleeper) that goes in your bed and has hard sides to keep you from rolling onto your baby. She slept in that until about 4 months old. We also put her into her crib for naps and when she first fell asleep at night so she was used to her crib also. Now she is 18 months and goes to sleep in her crib at the beginning of the night- about half the time she sleeps the entire night there and about half the time she wakes and comes into bed with us. This is the perfect middle ground for us- she’s not completely dependent upon us being there to be able to sleep, but we are there for her when she really needs us. We are still nursing a couple of times a day and co-sleeping has made it much, much easier for me to get some sleep. She is extremely independent throughout the day, but she sleeps much better with mommy or daddy nearby.
My son turned 6 yesterday, and I was a single mom with him. I never co-slept, but he has always been a great sleeper. I had a c-section with him and nursed him as well, so I just slept with him in a bassinet next to me until he started sleeping through the night then he went into his crib.
There are a lot of guidelines for safe co-sleeping. (Technically co-sleeping is just having your baby in your room- we are actually discussing bedsharing here, but it has become common to refer to bedsharing as co-sleeping). It is not recommended to bedshare if you are a heavy sleeper, have any drinks or take any medication that leads you to sleep deeply or if you are very overweight. You also should not have fluffy blankets or pillows in your bed with infants and the bed should be firm. There are more guidelines, but the point is that most co-sleeping or bedsharing deaths occur in circumstances in which parents are not following these guidelines. If done safely co-sleeping and bedsharing actually lowers the risk of SIDS. It is a personal choice and I would hope any parent that chooses to bedshare informs themselves of the risks and follows all safety precautions.
Post # 29
I did not co sleep with my first child, I did try a couple of times while breast feeding but she would not settle unless in her own bed. So she went from Bassinet to a Cot and now in a Single Bed.
My son was a different story. He started out in a bassinet (next to my side of the bed) and then to a cot (in his own room) and we were going great guns with his sleeping routine. And then I went back to night work 6 nights a week. He quickly developed seperation anxiety, which meant no one in our house got sleep because he became so upset. I tried controlled crying, but he didn’t go through a stage of whingey crying, he would straight away become so upset that he would become overaught.
So at about 5 months old we started co sleeping. The benefits? Our sanity! He sleeps, my daughter gets sleep and so do we. I have read that they will break the habit of co sleeping in their own time. He is now 18 months old and he is in his cot (in our room) now for 90% of the night. And he comes into our bed less and less. We are about to go and buy him a toggler bed, because he has started trying to put himself to sleep in his sisters bed.
After the difficulty I had with him and seperation anxiety, I would co sleep again if I had to for sure. We have never had a situation of him almost being smothered or rolled on. In actual fact he tends to kick all the covers off the bed, and turns in his sleep across the bed, we move with him in our sleep and end up on the very edge. THAT has been the hardest part, because my child is a bed hog. ha!!
Co Sleeping is controversial. I really don’t know why. I have done it quite safely without any scares. I think its what works for you, your child and your sanity!!!
Post # 30
SOs brother and partner co-sleep with their daughter. Which was a little alien to me at first.
Especially since my parents had me in their room until I was about 2 weeks old but my mum found my breathing annoying so moved me out on my own.
I think it’s really interesting learning about all these different parenting styles. But maybe that’s just me 🙂
Post # 31
We didn’t start co-sleeping until our little one was 6 months old. He could roll over, lift his head and remove blankets from on top of him. So we weren’t worried about the bed or any of those things. I am not sure I could co-sleep with an infant (under that age). We did put a bedrail on our bed so he can’t roll off.
We started because we both work full time and he breastfeeds. He was also not gaining weight well (has maybe doubled his birth weight at 1 year old) and needed the extra feedings at night. I couldn’t do it and be working the next day. So it was easier to latch and just sleep.
I love sleeping with my little man. He is sweet and warm and really cuddly. When daddy is out of town we always sleep together. He definitely sleeps and nurses better when we co-sleep. I sleep as well since he wakes me no matter what. If he is too ancy pansy we just put him in his own crib and he usually just calms right down. When we travel, we just co-sleep with him and don’t need to worry about cribs. He was a high needs baby, he has allergies and just wasn’t a happy baby and sleeping and nursing helps us all.
Now, he starts and finishes every night in his own crib in his own room. We bring him in when he wakes to eat around 11 pm and he stays probably until 4 am OR 6 am when we get up and ready for work. I figure we will continue to co-sleep until he is done nursing at night which may not be for a while. He seems to have reverse cycled (nurses mainly at night and not during the day).