Post # 1
I was born and raised in a different country and culture. While our weddings are similar to the US ones, some of the traditions differ. For my upcoming wedding I’m embracing most of these traditions because I find them sweet, such as the father walking the bride down the aisle, toasts and speeches during reception etc. However I’m not having a bridal party because this is one that I never got. Hopefully I won’t offend anyone, this is really a question out of ignorance, but what’s the point of it really?? I would think that the bride should be the center of attention in her wedding, not share the spotlight and photos with a bunch of other done up girls. Also why would anyone want to wear to “work” in a wedding instead of just being a guest and enjoying it? And have to wear a dress that I’ve often heard many girls say they think is dreadful, instead of wearing a pretty dress of their choice like other guests? Some people look at me completely horrified when I tell them I don’t have bridesmaids (I don’t have much of an accent so people can’t always tell I’m foreign) , so I really want to understand what’s the big deal that I’m missing out on. Thanks!
Post # 3
It’s okay if you don’t have any – it’s a personal choice!
I am American, but grew up in another country, so I am not the best to explain the Bridesmaid issue, but in my view, bridesmaids are basically attendants the bride chooses to honor by asking them to be a part of the big day. Some brides have these women help a lot with the wedding – planning, errands, etc., but some appoint them more as a position of love and support (the latter being my personal experience). It can be a great experience for you and your bridesmaids to bond, pretty much.
Post # 4
hi! what country are you from? Just out of curiosity. 🙂
**supposedly** the whole bridal party thing came about for two reasons. 1) to confuse evil spirits by having several people dressed similarly all at the wedding and 2) to protect the bride from capture on her wedding day because ill-wishers wouldn’t know which one she is.
Not sure how true those are… but thats what I’ve always heard
I think people now have lots of reasons. Tradition, first of all. Also because we see it as a way to honor our friends… to stand up in front of our friends and family entering a new life and honoring those who helped make us who we are. That is why the important family members generally have roles in the wedding and make their entrance after the other guests are seated… it kind of says: these people made me the person i am so that i can take this next step into the future with this man. In addition, weddings a LOT of work and yea.. your friends will probably help you out with it anyways, but by making them bridesmaids it kind of designates people to help you out with the planning and execution of the day.
Post # 5
Bridesmaids have some pretty interesting roots historically speaking, but I assume that’s not what you’re asking about. Today, brides in America choose to have a bridal party for a variety of reasons, which may include the reality that they are expected to do so. Unlike other decisions in which case it’s nobody’s business if you decide not to do something that everyone expects, in the case of the bridal party, people sometimes hope to be included and can get their feelings hurt if they aren’t. This would apply to sisters, your FI’s sisters, and your oldest, best friends. Beyond that, many brides love the feeling of being surrounded by young women who are their good friends during the hours before the ceremony, making it into a relaxing time when everyone is having a good time hanging out together. It’s nice for the bride to have that little support network in case she starts feeling stressed out or overwhelmed. Typically, the fact that the bridesmaids are in colored dresses will help you stand out even more, not less. And while you’re correct that many people don’t want to “work” in a wedding, some of the women who are closest to you probably won’t mind being the ones responsible for helping you with things like grabbing a bite to eat for you, or making sure your bra isn’t showing, or bustling your dress before the reception. You may find that it’s very useful to have someone or someones around to help with all those things, since there is a lot to focus on on your wedding day!
Of course, having said that, there are plenty of brides who choose to forgo having any attendants, and you should not feel pressured to do differently. Nobody’s feelings are likely to get hurt if you explain that no one will be a bridesmaid, so they know it isn’t just a matter of them being excluded.
Post # 6
Don’t feel pressure lady! I’m having “attendants” but really his two sisters are standing on his side and my one sister is standing on my side and they’ll sign as our witnesses. I think of it as a “blending of the families”.
Yes, they are wearing the same color dress but the won’t be matchy-matchy. It’s just because I like symetry and if I can’t have an equal number of attendants, at least they can all wear the same color.
Post # 7
i can’t speak for other people’s motivations for having a bridal party, but here are my reasons, both silly and serious: It’s a way of honoring those people in my life who have been there for me, through thick and thin. It gives me a group of people who care enough about my wedding that I can bounce ideas off of them when my fiance has had enough of my “What about this color? Should we go with these flowers? Would this song work?” questions. I want to have a group of people around when we’re getting ready the morning of the wedding, to drink champagne with and to share the realization of “Holy crap, I’m getting married in a matter of hours!” They were my companions when I went shopping for a dress, and offered honest opinions on what made me look fabulous.They’re all my best friends and none of them are local, so it gives me an awesome reason to see them more often.
Post # 8
no worries. for me, i want to recognize the people that have really been there to support me during my relationship with my bf and to honor our friendships. that’s why i want a bridesmaids. they won’t necessarily “work” that day; they just have to show up and look pretty. 🙂 but it’s a nice gesture to extend to those you have that kind of relationship with.
having a bridal party isn’t a requisite for a wedding. it’s just an option. i believe mrs. lovebug chose not to have a bridal party. the bride and groom are still going to be the center of attention on the wedding day whether or not they have a wedding party.
Post # 9
I am having bridesmaids mainly for the moral support. My sister, my moh, will probably help with some of the wedding planning but not the others. These are just the girls I want in my pictures. And I am letting them pick their own dresses.
Post # 10
I wasn’t planning on having a bridal party, since all of the people that I would ask have all been bridesmaids for each other already I don’t think anyone would be hurt/care–unless I had some and not others. Additionally since we aren’t having a traditional church wedding it won’t look odd if we are up there by ourselves (and the bridal party would probably have to sit down anyway).
My mother is strongly for it b/c she feels that its important to have your friends there to share the day with you and be with you and be in the pictures of the bridal party, etc. I’m not sure however if she is really just in support of me doing “traditional” things & so she is using the “its the people you care about showing that they are there to support you” angle b/c she knows that is what is going to appeal to me, or if she really means it!
If you aren’t from the US, then people probably wouldn’t think too much about you deviating from traditions, so if its not something that you think would be fun or meaningful to you, no pressure to do it!
Post # 11
Thanks for all the input ladies. I hear what you’re saying and those are all great reasons. I’m from Turkey btw…We also have a great support system of family, friends back home helping out but I guess since we’ve never had the tradition, they feel it’s an honor just to be included in the wedding as a guest. Well at the legal ceremony the bride and groom sit at a table so I guess it would be silly to have a bunch of people standing around anyway 🙂 Also thanks for reassuring me, even though I’m having a traditional US ceremony and Fiance is American, I feel confident in my decision to not have any bridesmaids. If I did it would be something I do just for appearances and wouldn’t be sincere.
@Corgitales – that’s awesome about the evil spirits and fear of capture! Isn’t it hilarious how old superstitions turn into something completely different and linger for centuries?