(Closed) Can step down as a bridesmaid or not have a job :[

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

If she is any sort of friend, she will absolutely understand the position that you’re in!

Post # 4
2400 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@vorpalette:  +1


Step down. It sucks but a job is more important than a wedding.

Post # 5
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Agreed, hopefully even in the haze of an upcoming wedding the bride will see that the wedding is just one day and this is a long-term job. Sounds like you’ve been a great Bridesmaid or Best Man and she’ll see how important she is to you but that you just are stuck. Good luck 🙂

Post # 6
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

The bride should understand – if she’s your friend, she should be supportive!

I’d kick you out of my wedding party myself and make sure I told you that you’d be crazy if you passed this opportunity up! 🙂

Go for the job: her wedding is just one day, this job could open so many doors for you in your whole life.

ETA: Hmmm.. “kicked out” sounds harsh, but I hope you know what I mean. “Kicked out in a nice way?” Hahaha. “Kicked out with all my love.”
I don’t know, sometimes I’m too blunt!

Post # 7
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I was in a situation similar to this. I went to the wedding, I lost the job.  In hindsight, I should have stepped down from the wedding.  Your friend will understand!

Post # 8
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Hope_To_Be_MrsLovebug:  Agree with what everyone else has said. She should understand.

You also hosted her a shower. You sound awesome already

Post # 10
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

FWIW, I had a bridesmaid step down because of money. She sent me an email (we typically communicate via text because I work 1st shift in one time zone and she works 3rd in another, so we’re either asleep or working when the other is working/asleep) and explained her situation–she’d had her time off request denied (8 months in advance!) and then her fiance lost HIS job and they were moving back to where she’s from, which was going to cost an arm and a leg, not to mention that they were already living paycheck to paycheck and has just purchased a new car. I was upset because I really wanted her there, but honestly, her situation was way more important.

Post # 11
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@Hope_To_Be_MrsLovebug:  Let her know your situation and apologize for the inconvenience but keep your job!!!  She might be upset but if she’s a good friend she will understand the position you are in.  Send her a nice card with a wedding gift so she knows you are happy for her and support her marriage.

Post # 12
1755 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

If you were my friend, I’d be sorry but totally understand, wish you well, and share pics after the wedding.

Post # 13
1844 posts
Buzzing bee

this is no contest.  You step down from the wedding.  The wedding is a one day party, the job is a JOB!!!  Any friend who we be angry when there is a job on the line has very poor priorities.

You tell her the program coordinator will not give any leeway and this is for your job.  It should take nothing more than that.  If the roles were reversed, wouldn’t you tell your friend, “hey, no problem, a job is more important.  We’ll get together after the wedding”?

Post # 14
551 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Hope_To_Be_MrsLovebug:  Unless your friend plans on paying your bills, your program comes first. Be honest with her. She will be able to see how torn you are, and while she will certainly be disappointed, she will understand. I would attend her showers and bachelorette party to show that you care. On the day of the wedding, Skype her to wish her congratulations and send a nice wedding gift (or have someone coordinate for her to physically open a gift from you while she gets ready). Heck, you could even send a life-size cardboard cutout of yourself in your bridesmaid dress! And if you can somehow manage to have your bags packed & hop on a plane the moment you are finished taking your exam, surprise her at the reception!

Post # 15
1226 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Of course you should stand down… I am sure your friend would feel aweful if she knew you would lose your job if you stay in the wedding.

You’ve done so much already. IMO, you have proven yourself ;). hehe

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