- 6 years ago
- Wedding: November 2012
Hi Bees! My wedding is only a few weeks away, and I finished a lot of the planning early. I was a pretty easygoing bride, though my bridesmaids weren’t the ideal bunch (throwing up drunk at a dress shopping trip, nasty attitude, won’t get the dress, type things). I didn’t ask for anything except to get the dress, even though I would have loved just have little get togethers or girly things, no one seemed interested. In my quest to be a great bride, I really took a lot of advice from boards like these, such as not really talking about the wedding all the time, etc. Maid/Matron of Honor was originally enthusiastic but now I never see her, and she claimed she was going to throw a bridal shower, and then disappeared and left all the planning to my family members. It turned out really nice, but she had a horrible attitude through the whole thing, even complaining about my family to me while I was there (over really stupid little things, like “I thought we could just use paper plates but OH WELL I guess THEY didn’t think so…”). I don’t really try to talk to her because she never has any interest in -not just the wedding- but me at all.
I’m sort of resigned to the fact that I’m over it. I just don’t want to deal with anyone, and I’m at the point that if their dresses don’t fit or they don’t have their shoes or even if they don’t show up, oh well. While I was sad about this for a while… I’m really just indifferent. I’m getting married, and I’m finally feeling the excitement since it’s so soon, and I just don’t want to deal with the negativity, so I’m not seeking out conversations with people that snap at me or are rude, especially when I haven’t asked them to DO anything. My questions that I have asked have been to invite them to stay with me the night before (I wanted to just have a casual night before to unwind and give them their gifts…no longer happening), or to see who would need transportation after the reception so I would know what to reserve, etc.
It isn’t that everyone has been awful, but the ones that are have really hurt my feelings. Maid/Matron of Honor was so miserable and mean at the shower, and there was no mention of a bachelorette, so I figured there wouldn’t be one (that’s fine, oh well), but then I texted her to invite her to a non-wedding related event, and she told me that I can’t go, since my bachelorette is that day (news to me), and also to not expect much and she doesn’t want me to think it will be anything special. She then was mad that I didn’t know, not to mention that she flat out told me not to expect anything “special” which is weird and rude, because why even bother if it is such a burden? Well, to shorten this up a bit, another Bridesmaid or Best Man wanted to do something nice since no one in the wedding (or anyone besides MOH) knew about this other bachelorette party.
My cousin lives out of state and texted me to say she received the evites to both events, but ignored them and never opened them because she knew she probably wouldn’t make it (ok?). She has mentioned before that she feels bad that she can’t be involved in these things, so I said that it was ok and not to feel bad. She mentioned that there were two bachelorette parties and I explained the situation and jokingly said it isn’t that I’m so great that I need two, there was just some confusion. She then tells me she wishes she was in town so she could see just how much of a bridezilla I am since it’s impossible that my other BMs could just screw up so much.
…I don’t feel that what I said to her reeked of “omg my BMs are awful!” and since I very rarely see much less TALK TO anyone, I’m not a bridezilla. If anything, I have been TOO passive. My feelings are hurt because I finally got to that “good” place where I was just happy that the wedding is so close, I have an enthusiastic friend/BM who wanted to put together a party, and I’m excited! I’m not even in the “talk shit about everyone” complaining mood, but between the MOH’s misdirected frustration and nasty comments from some other BMs out of the blue, it’s like someone just has to kick me as soon as I’m getting back up.