- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2015
Bees, I’m extremely upset. Last night, my fiancé and I went to meet a friend and his girlfriend. The friend is someone we’re close to, especially my fiancé who was going to ask him to be a groomsman, his girlfriend is someone he’s serious with, but we’ve only met her a few times.
Last night, we met up with them and about an hour in, I mentioned I’d gotten a job starting next month. I got a job with an excellent lawyer who is incredibly well respected and it’s a huge deal to me – I was extremely excited. I mentioned that I’d observed a trial of his recently and that he’d done an amazing job – and then it started. They both immediately went off about how lawyers are ‘shady and sneaky’, that he ‘got his client off’, ‘the accused probably committed other crimes and should be convicted anyway’ (because all people charged with crimes are guilty?!), that ‘money buys justice and lawyers and judges take bribes and are corrupt’ – it went ON and ON, for about 45 minutes. I can’t overstate how vicious, cruel and personal it got.
Worse, they blatantly made stuff up and had incoherent arguments – none of it even made any sense! At one point, he said most lawyers take bribes – I said that wasn’t true and pointed out that he doesn’t have proof – he said ‘he didn’t need proof’ – how the hell can you defend yourself against someone like that? His girlfriend’s first argument was about drug laws our country doesn’t even have – when i pointed out that i was pretty sure she got that from a netflix documentary (in a different country!) she got all huffy (i was right…) and that only made things worse. at one point she basically called me racist!
During this insane rant where they both basically yelled at us, we repeatedly told them that we weren’t comfortable with this conversation, I pointed out that both my fiancé and I just graduated from law school, we have lots of friends from law school and that my parents are lawyers. I was told I was being ‘too sensitive’ and that ‘we said ‘no offence”. my fiancé asked if we could change the subject and they basically said ‘no – it’s not our fault you can’t take it’ and then continued slandering our friends, family and chosen profession which we have both worked our butts off to be a part of.
My fiancé and I are both SHOCKED. we would never, ever have expected this from this friend – who we have been very good friends to, recently, he’s had huge issues with his family and we’ve supported him throughout. But we’re both horrified because a) wtf was that?! b) it was personal, cruel and unnecessary c) we would never ever be friends with anyone with such horrible views – but we’re already close friends, how could we not know?! my fiancé thinks that he felt the need to back up his girlfriend, who was out for blood for some reason, but even if that’s true – that’s not an excuse for me.
so what do we do now? Has anyone had a conflict with a friend like this? We honestly aren’t sure how to proceed or if the friendship is even worth saving (or save-able) at this point. Yesterday I was making a seating chart for our head table with both of them at it – needless to say, that’s not happening.