(Closed) Can Trust Be Rebuild

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I believe it can.  It takes time and a lot of effort and both people have to be willing to communicate openly.  The person that did the deceiving has to accept that they will be questioned and mistrusted for a period of time and be willing to talk at any given moment, answer very personal questions with honesty before the trust can start to be rebuilt. 

Darling Husband and I had a big issue back in late July/early August where I was seriously considering whether or not to continue the relationship.  We talked until I thought we’d be blue in the face for days.  I decided to stick it out and see what happened, along the way I still had questions. I’d email him or call him or whenever I felt like it bring it up again so I could try to understand.  He was willing, no matter what time it was, to be open about it.  It was rough, I sometimes thought I’d never trust him again.

Since that day though, he has been so open with me, he has really shown that he is in this 100%.  He’s willing to do whatever it takes and knows I still have moments occassionally where I question things.  Ita takes both people though, you can’t do it on your own.

Post # 4
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I agree.. If the love is really there and it is meant to be, trust can be rebuilt.

Me and my fiance have gone through a little rough patch as well(back in the first year of our relationship before we got engaged).. and like notasaint i would call or text him whenever i wanted to to ask him questions and not once did he get mad at me.. because he knew he didnt want to lose me and that he wanted to be with me. He would do whatever i asked him to do, and even i thought that wasnt enough.. I was so close to ending it with him too because i thought i could never trust him again, but he kept proving himself to me and one day i just woke up and decided that i trust him again. Although i dont know what your situation is… im sure if it was really meant to be you two could get past it…

 

Post # 5
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Can you have a relationship without trust? Not a healthy one.

Can trust be rebuilt? Never say never…but it won’t be easy.

Post # 7
Member
792 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

For me, it would depend on the nature of the betrayal, but it sounds as though something very traumatic happened to you. Not knowing any of the details it’s hard to say what I’d do in your situation. Everyone is different and every situation is different. I do know though that healthy relationships of any kind require trust and respect. Without those two components the relationship is dead.

Post # 8
Member
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

I think that trust can be rebuilt, but it’s something that both parties have to work really hard at – you have to WANT to make it work. And I think that it’s something that definitely takes a long time…I think everyone is different, really. Some people (like me, probably) would never be able to truly let go of what happened, so trust couldn’t be rebuilt.

Post # 10
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Alongs he doesnt break your trust again.. and he didnt do anything to bad.. I say goodluck!!! But no matter how much you love him, if he is gonna keep breakin your trust.. just remember… there are plenty of fish in the sea!

Post # 13
Member
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

Honestly, I wish I could say what the others have said but if you’re asking if it can be rebuilt you secretly know that it cant/wont. When someone hurts you as bad as you’ve been hurt no matter how many years down the road you will have that in the back of your mind. You have lost a piece of your heart because this man put himself and his selfish acts first. Its your choice if you want to move on in life with someone that will not betray your trust or stay with this man and wait to see if it happens again. Good Luck.

From personal experience I stayed for 3 years thinking he would change, I loved him more than I have ever loved anyone!!! The only thing that got me to open my eyes and truly let him go was meeting my fiance for the first time. He actually kissed my hand when we met and it just showed me, I’m worth more than what my ex was giving me. I deserved to be treated with respect, to not be cheated on and to certainly not be beaten up. Throughout the course of a few months my Fiance showed me what it was like to be in a real relationship, it was amazing!

 I know you are going through a whirlwind of emotions and I really wish that you find inner strength to figure out what YOU want. A bunch of strangers giving you advice is not the answer. YOU have to decide. Besides, there is always couples counseling. I went once and it was liberating. I got to tell him what a worthless…….he is! That was it for me!

Post # 15
Member
14185 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think sometimes it can be.

But I also know to what ability i can forgive. And I’m not one who truly forgives. You can be sorry as hell, but that doesn’t mean I’ll ever forgive you or hold it as a big black mark against your character. And once I lose respect for someone’s character…well, I don’t think it can always be regained. I just don’t think you always get a second chance, not even for love.

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