(Closed) Can waiting too long to get engaged take away your excitement?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
933 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@KaylieJordan14:  I have really similar sad feelings. And I have sadness that I’ll probably be the “last one” to get engaged.  And yesterday I explained it to my Boyfriend or Best Friend & I think he got it because then he was sad too (not my intent – I was hoping he would reassure me it’ll still be good). 

Now I hope someone on here will tell us we’re just crazy for thinking like this.

Post # 4
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Ok I REALLY worried about this. I didn’t wait for an eternity to him propose (3 years) but still I was at the end of my rope.

Turns out, everything was super exciting when I got engaged and hasn’t stopped being exciting. I’m actually happy now at the amount of time that we waited.

Post # 5
6248 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

My fiance proposed on our 7-year anniversary, so I was waiting quite a while.  I can honestly say that from the the actual moment of the proposal going forward has been amazing.  Yes, you will get stressed from wedding planning but I highly doubt you will lose the excitement of being engaged.  It’s such a great time in a relationship.


Post # 6
812 posts
Busy bee

I think a long wait can certainly dull the feeling (maybe because we start to believe it’ll never happen) but keep your head up and remember why you love him – I’m sure you’ll soon get the feeling back 🙂 (could be nerves too)

Post # 7
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I didn’t get the excited engagement feeling because we decided on a lot of things together and were very open about it. For me, involvement was a lot more important that excitement and surprise. 


Wedding planning is still totally fun and exciting though!

Post # 8
1927 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I assure you that waiting a long time will NOT take away from the engagement. I waited 5.5 years for my fiance to propose and it was absolutely wonderful!

Post # 10
305 posts
Helper bee

I have been feeling the same way. Even thought I know its coming, the excitement I felt before has faded. I’m just sick of waiting and at times I find myself getting mad at him…like “WHY won’t he ask if he knows its so important to me?” I know thats silly thinking…I’m glad you posted this so that I know I am not alone!

Post # 12
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

The whole waiting thing comes in different waves and phases. Sometimes you are super excited, sometimes depressed, sometimes you just dont even want to think about getting engaged because you couldnt care less at hte time.

I am sure when the actual time comes you will be excited and enjoy it!

Post # 13
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think you’ll regain that excited feeling in no time. I’m still playing the waiting game with my SO. I’ve told him how I feel kind of unloved that he hasn’t proposed yet, and then he makes me feel even worse by saying I’m making him feel like he’s a terrible Boyfriend or Best Friend. Le sigh. I don’t know why things like this have to be so complicated. Basically the whole week of valentines day I cried, but I’m getting more excited for it now.

What helps me get more excited when I’m feeling down about it is thinking of telling other people the good news, I can’t help but smile when I imagine everyones reaction to us being engaged 🙂

Post # 15
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I think for most people these feelings, or lack of feelings, go in cycles.  You’ll feel fine, then excited, then let down, and borderline depressed, and then back to normal, all as a regular cycle of waiting for something important.  I understand the feeling numb, myself, but have some other external events that have helped me into the doldrums and am about to take a for me drsatic step of asking about antidepressants to just shake myself out of it.

Myself, I am having touble feeling good about ‘us’ since he can’t seem to feel good enough about us to ‘put a ring on it’.  And this is even with him doing other sweet things, making me feel even worse I can’t seem to appreciate what I DO have, instead of lamenting what I don’t. Because to me it just feels like a slow burning rejection right now, of who I am and how he feels about me.  Which makes me feel distant, which he perceives and gets hurt.  And I can’t really just go off each time I feel like this (it’s pretty often) and say, “Hey, I’m having trouble feeling good about me because I can’t see that YOU think I’m worthwhile.”  That just leads to circular arguments and wasted time and even more hurt feelings all over.  I know a lot of this is in my head and my own issues to work through.

For you, I’m betting you’ll shake out of it pretty soon – being aware of it is a good first step to warding it off.  .  

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