Post # 1
I’ve been dating my boyfriend over 4 years and the past few months I’ve been really excited to get engaged and have been overly ready. Well we talk about it all the time and now that he has a job and he promised that once he got a job, he would be proposing by summer of 2012. I’ve been very anxious! But for the past 4-5 days thinking about the engagement or the wedding hasn’t got me really excited like it used to. This lack of excitement has had me crying my eyes out all day and consuming all of my thoughts! I just really wanna have that overly excited feeling about it again. I know I want to be with him because I get sooo upset when I think about life without him, and there is no one else in the world I’d rather be with. If this has happened to anyone PLEASE PLEASE comment how to get over all this and go back to the normal really happy and excited feeling cause I DO NOT LIKE THIS DEPRESSED FEELING!
Post # 3
@KaylieJordan14: I have really similar sad feelings. And I have sadness that I’ll probably be the “last one” to get engaged. And yesterday I explained it to my Boyfriend or Best Friend & I think he got it because then he was sad too (not my intent – I was hoping he would reassure me it’ll still be good).
Now I hope someone on here will tell us we’re just crazy for thinking like this.
Post # 4
Ok I REALLY worried about this. I didn’t wait for an eternity to him propose (3 years) but still I was at the end of my rope.
Turns out, everything was super exciting when I got engaged and hasn’t stopped being exciting. I’m actually happy now at the amount of time that we waited.
Post # 5
My fiance proposed on our 7-year anniversary, so I was waiting quite a while. I can honestly say that from the the actual moment of the proposal going forward has been amazing. Yes, you will get stressed from wedding planning but I highly doubt you will lose the excitement of being engaged. It’s such a great time in a relationship.
Post # 6
I think a long wait can certainly dull the feeling (maybe because we start to believe it’ll never happen) but keep your head up and remember why you love him – I’m sure you’ll soon get the feeling back 🙂 (could be nerves too)
Post # 7
I didn’t get the excited engagement feeling because we decided on a lot of things together and were very open about it. For me, involvement was a lot more important that excitement and surprise.
Wedding planning is still totally fun and exciting though!
Post # 8
I assure you that waiting a long time will NOT take away from the engagement. I waited 5.5 years for my fiance to propose and it was absolutely wonderful!
Post # 9
Wow everyone is being really helpful! I’m glad to know that this feeling will likely pass, eveywhere else I was reading kept saying things like basically your falling out of love and what not and that’s the thing, I knew that wasn’t the case because I was sooo upset. If I didn’t want to be with him anymore I wouldn’t be bawling my eyes out that I’m not as excited thinking about rings and what not! This feeling seems to be getting better today I think it will pass soon! I hope 🙂
Post # 10
I have been feeling the same way. Even thought I know its coming, the excitement I felt before has faded. I’m just sick of waiting and at times I find myself getting mad at him…like “WHY won’t he ask if he knows its so important to me?” I know thats silly thinking…I’m glad you posted this so that I know I am not alone!
Post # 11
Me too and the whole no excitement thing really has me bummed and then I freak out that since I’m not excited does that mean things are changing, I really don’t think that’s the case though cause I cannot see myself with anyone else I wish this never would have even happened , I don’t like this feeling and I don’t like questioning everything, I just want that big butterfly feeling back when I think about it and when I think about him , but I guess that’s part of being together a long time right?
Post # 12
The whole waiting thing comes in different waves and phases. Sometimes you are super excited, sometimes depressed, sometimes you just dont even want to think about getting engaged because you couldnt care less at hte time.
I am sure when the actual time comes you will be excited and enjoy it!
Post # 13
I think you’ll regain that excited feeling in no time. I’m still playing the waiting game with my SO. I’ve told him how I feel kind of unloved that he hasn’t proposed yet, and then he makes me feel even worse by saying I’m making him feel like he’s a terrible Boyfriend or Best Friend. Le sigh. I don’t know why things like this have to be so complicated. Basically the whole week of valentines day I cried, but I’m getting more excited for it now.
What helps me get more excited when I’m feeling down about it is thinking of telling other people the good news, I can’t help but smile when I imagine everyones reaction to us being engaged 🙂
Post # 14
Ok one more thing, I swear this week is just horrible, Since all of this has happened I find myself like questioning out relationship, like the past two days I just cried because of how sad I felt that I haven’t felt all rosy inside around him like I normally do , and now this morning I woke up feeling like just emotionally numb, like We woke up cuddling and I didn’t get that excited lovy feeling, and what scares and upsets me the most is I WANT THAT FEELING! It’s not like there is anyone else I want to be with or see myself with so why all of the sudden have all my emotions just changed. I need to bring back those feeling pronto. I also feel like this might be a way God is trying to get my attention, like he wants me closer to him before he will let me feel that closeness with my Boyfriend or Best Friend again. Please once again help me idk what to do anymore!
Post # 15
I think for most people these feelings, or lack of feelings, go in cycles. You’ll feel fine, then excited, then let down, and borderline depressed, and then back to normal, all as a regular cycle of waiting for something important. I understand the feeling numb, myself, but have some other external events that have helped me into the doldrums and am about to take a for me drsatic step of asking about antidepressants to just shake myself out of it.
Myself, I am having touble feeling good about ‘us’ since he can’t seem to feel good enough about us to ‘put a ring on it’. And this is even with him doing other sweet things, making me feel even worse I can’t seem to appreciate what I DO have, instead of lamenting what I don’t. Because to me it just feels like a slow burning rejection right now, of who I am and how he feels about me. Which makes me feel distant, which he perceives and gets hurt. And I can’t really just go off each time I feel like this (it’s pretty often) and say, “Hey, I’m having trouble feeling good about me because I can’t see that YOU think I’m worthwhile.” That just leads to circular arguments and wasted time and even more hurt feelings all over. I know a lot of this is in my head and my own issues to work through.
For you, I’m betting you’ll shake out of it pretty soon – being aware of it is a good first step to warding it off. .