Post # 1
Hi all! My fiance and I are currently going over our invitation wording and have run into a dilemma about our names. A few things about us: we are relatively young (23/24), are having a retro comic book themed wedding, and are paying for it mostly on our own. Our invitations will be comic book themed as well. We are very silly, down to earth, and considering our theme, the wedding will probably be more on the casual side. He goes by the shortened version of his name (Zach) and I go by the shortened version of mine (Bree). We have few (if any) friends and family who call us by our full names so it just seems weird. We also really like the way our names look on the invitations and are considering leaving out middle and last names. Because we have pretty unique names I’m almost positive everyone will know who we are anyway. We also won’t be including our parent’s names. How much of an offense is using only nicknames? We have tried our best to stick with the etiquette on many things, but it definitely seems like all the rules can send you down the rabbit hole if you let them.
Post # 2
If its a more casual quirky wedding I think its fine. I’ve seen lots of invites (online) that look like what youre envisioning so I think its fine. I might still include last names, especially if inviting more distant family though.
Post # 3
We used fi’s nickname since its the only name he’s ever used.
Post # 4
I think the shortened versions of your names are totally fine (I thought you meant a more personal nickname, like going by “Smitty” as your first name if your last name was Smith or something). But I would include your last names!
Post # 5
I don’t see an issue with using your nicknames since that is how everyone knows you. But, I would include your last names, just so people have that confirmation that it’s you.
Post # 6
I think shortened first names is totally fine, but I would include your last names for clarity.
Post # 7
I don’t ever use my real name and honestly half my world doesn’t even know that my name is actually a nick-name, so I would most likely be using my nick name for invites/anything wedding related. I think its even more appropriate since your wedding is on the unique/fun side of the spectrum!
Post # 8
Not a problem. You may want to use your given names for the RSVP card. Before the info, on the top left you can have printed: Bernice Angela Smith & John Jay Brown just in case your guests want to give you a formal card with Mr. & Mrs John Jay Brown. People like that.
Post # 9
There is no “offense” and this isn’t an etiquette thing. It’s a making sure the recipients know whose wedding they’re being invited to thing. Invitations are functional. If you’re having a small wedding with your nearest and dearest, yes, they will probably know who Zach and Bree are. If you’re inviting more than just nuclear family and lifelong BFFs, do everyone a favor and include your last names. It’s not cute or quirky to make people figure out whose party they’re being invited to. I guess if you have both your full names on the return address, that would work. (full meaning whatever first name you prefer, along with last names)
Post # 10
There’s probably some etiquette rule against it but if there is it isn’t one of the rational ones. It isn’t a problem.
My inclination is that if people don’t know you by the name you go by then you’re better off when they decline out of confusion. But you might want to do something more to self-identify in case one of his friends knows another Zach or something.
Post # 12
If everyone calls you by your nickname then it’s more natural than putting down your “real” names. I remember getting my cousins wedding invitation and having to think who they were since it said James and Margaret instead of Jim and Mags.