Post # 1
Our wedding is still a year and three months away, but my fiance and I have a lot of excited and supportive people in our lives chomping at the bit to throw us parties :oP I know, what a dilemma! My only concern (and it is a gracious and happy concern) is that its poor ettiquette to have an engagement party, a jack and jill, a bridal shower, a bachelorlette/bachelor party, AND whatever else gets thrown (offered up) our way. I mean, we would, of course, by no means ever expect gifts, as I’m sure the guest lists would overlap and overlap again! But do you think people will get sick of hearing about how we’re having yet ANOTHER party to celebrate our nuptials? Or receiving invites one after another endlessly? Maybe I am worrying without reason, I mean, anyone who felt that way wouldn’t HAVE to attend events in our honor, right? But I absolutely absolutely do not want people to think we are milking them for gitfts! I would have the various hosts combine some of these things, but everybody pretty much wants to throw their own thing :o) I don’t know. What do you think I should do? How many parties did you have? :o)
Post # 3
I understand where you’re coming from. We are having an engagement party, 2 bridal showers and our own seperate bachelor/bachelorette parties.
I would talk to some of the people throwing them and ask them to put on the invites that you don’t want gifts, or have them tell people by word of mouth.
We’re not getting gifts at any of them except the 2 bridal showers.
p.s. when is your wedding? mine is 10/17/09, sounds like yours is pretty close to ours!
Post # 4
If I was invited to multiple events for the same person, but thrown by different people, I would never think that the bride is milking me for presents. I actually would feel flattered that the bride would want me to attend both (or more) events.
Post # 5
is there anyway to combine any of those celebrations or keep them among separate groups of friends so that the guest lists don’t overlap? keep in mind that certain guests like your BMs and GMs will probably feel overwhelmed with all these celebrations but will not have the option of skipping out on them without looking like really bad friends (unless they live out of town). if your friends are really eager to help you celebrate, another option is also to just celebrate separately with just these friends, versus inviting all your friends every time.
Fiance and i will probably have separate celebrations with different groups of friends – work, friends, school, church, etc.
Post # 6
People love to throw parties… We’re having a joint shower and have asked our Maid/Matron of Honor to make it a potluck – no gifts other than what they bring to share. That way, no one feels like they are showing up empty handed, but it’s not seen as a gift grab (even if that’s not at all the intention).
Another option would be to have theme showers where gifts could be smaller/creative, like an entertainment shower – movie tickets, books, board games, wine, dinner, etc.
Finally, try talking to some of the potential hosts and see if they may want to help out in another way – perhaps helping with some of the wedding prep?
Post # 7
@ kourtann: Yep, 9/19/09 is the date :o) So excited! That’s almost an exact month from yours! :o)
And, thanks guys for the suggestions. Your advice is always really great and it’s good to know that other people have 1) multiple parties planned but also 2) great suggestions on how to make everyone feel comfortable and celebratory :o)