Post # 1
Genuinely curious on this one, I’m not trying to be judgemental but I know there is the potential for this to go tits up.
There was a post a few days ago where someone had admitted to having an affair but was hoping to stay with her partner. In my world, once you’ve made the decision to be unfaithful then I don’t see how you can be committed to that person anymore. The decision to have the affair signals you removing yourself from the relationship. However this particular post got me to thinking that maybe some people don’t see affairs as ‘ways out’ but as something a lot less significant (I would say harmless but I can’t go quite that far!). I am a child of divorce as a result of my dad having an affair so I guess I am quite biased but can someone really have an affair but it not mean anything?
Post # 3
@Corgi-cariad: I don’t think it could “not mean anything” because, to me, it means you don’t respect your relationship. (Obviously, I’m assuming “cheating” means it’s not something your partner is ok with.)
Post # 4
I think it’s certainly possible for it not to mean anything to the cheater. I think it’s very unlikely for the cheatee to agree, though.
Post # 5
I think cheating can mean nothing. Sometimes cheating can be about wanting more attention, feeling inadeqaute, and sometimes has nothing to do with thier partner. I think people cheat for different reasons and only the cheater can understand why they did it. Not saying I agree with cheating at all, I can just understand it from both sides.
Edit – Also Cheating can change your life for the better if it makes you realize something you never knew before. Cheating can big life event, for someone who’s never done or thought they were capable of doing that.
Post # 6
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@Corgi-cariad: I think it definitely means SOMETHING. But I don’t think that it needs to mean the end of the relationship.
Post # 7
I think people can make mistakes, and that it doesn’t always have the meaning people attach to it. I think usually it is a wakeup call that your relationship needs work.
Post # 8
I think it always means something… exactly what that something is is open to debate. Was their relationship on the way out anyway? Are they a total dog who is unable to commit, or who just likes the excitement? Are they after the physical thrill? Who knows. But I definitely don’t think it means nothing. Telling yourself that it means nothing is just a way of being in denial.
Post # 9
Emotional affairs most likely mean something. Emotional affairs that lead to a physical affair can definitely, maybe mean something. A physical affair, imo, can absolutely ‘mean nothing’. Yes, there is meaning behind WHY you strayed, but the actual act can be emotionless and raw. To me, it is no different than a ‘one night stand’ where you just crave the physicality behind the sex, but can literally have no feelings or emotion toward the act! FOR THE RECORD, when I say no different, I meant it as the act itself. Obviously, it is very different because you are cheating on someone whom you love, or at least are committed too!
Post # 11
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
@MexiPino: +1 that’s exactly what I was going to say
Post # 12
@Corgi-cariad: People cheat for different reasons, some examples: stress, something lacking in a rrelationship, money problems, ego boost, because the opportunity presented itself. Cheating doesn’t mean you don’t love your partner, it just means there is sonething wrong in the relationship. Sometimes, those issues can be repaired, and sometimes they can’t.
Post # 13
@Corgi-cariad: Someone saying they cheated but “it didn’t mean anything” is the epitome of the definition of lying to themselves, not to mention lying to their partner. Everything means something. Cheating is dishonest, obviously. It can mean a million different things to each and every cheater, but it definitely means something.
Post # 14
yes I think it can mean nothing (ie regretful, and huge mistake), but I also think that there are reasons that led to the discrepency that need to be addressed by the cheater AND the one cheated on.
Post # 15
@drummerbride: but the fact that there is something wrong in the relationship that ’caused’ the affair means it means something. It’s a physical expression of something lacking and if something is lacking then by going elsewhere rather than talking to the other party would suggest to me that you’ve got no interest in continuing. I literally do not believe that you can embark on an affair and pretend its nothing…
Post # 16
@Sunfire: this is my opinion