(Closed) Can you decline an STD if its 9 months away??

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

No one knows that far ahead. Plus, you don’t rsvp to a save the date. You wait for the actual invite. But save the dates are just new enough that most people don’t know how they work. Send an invite which lets them know they can still come if they are able. Plus, it is possible to take a day off from work  for personal reasons without repercussions or explanations as long as you don’t make a habit of it that gets you fired, regardless of a schedule change or not.

Post # 5
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

That does suck that she’s being so rude, especially if she’s a friend. Most friends wouldn’t let anyone or anything stop them from attending a wedding or other event so her response is odd. Try not to take it personally even though it does hurt.

Post # 7
Member
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

We haven’t sent ours out yet, but I’ve already received a few regrets- an older family friend (82) who won’t make the drive, and a friend’s +1 will be out of the country.

Like Selene221 said, he should be able to take off a day, or there’s nothing stopping her from coming solo. 

Post # 8
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I had a few of my FIL’s guests who told my Future Mother-In-Law that they wouldn’t be able to attend after they got their STD.  Our wedding would be a 6 hour trip for them and they just didn’t want to make the commitment.  I think that the whole concept of the STD is like ‘hey, we aren’t sending out the real invitations yet, but please do whatever you can to clear your schedule’.  I think that 9 months is plenty of time for them to swap shifts, etc.  

I also have another perspective – I also have a hairdresser that is a good friend of mine who owns her own salon.  When I told her I was engaged, I could tell that she was trying to figure out a nice way to say that she didn’t really want to do my hair for the wedding day.  Since we are getting married in another city, I quickly squashed her concerns and I could see that she was relieved.  I just think a lot of people who are in the industry get put in awkward situations sometimes.  I’m not saying that you were doing that, I’m just wondering if that is a possible scenario.

Post # 10
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@cherryblossomlove:  That’s too bad.  I really wasn’t trying to insinuate anything, like I said, it was just another viewpoint.  Hopefully she can make it and doesn’t go back and forth too much on it.  

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