(Closed) Can you describe the "spark" you have with your significant other?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: You had a spark with your significant other.
    yes : (43 votes)
    88 %
    no : (4 votes)
    8 %
    Do not believe in this spark thing : (2 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    973 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Totally different!

    Attraction is just attraction, you can be attracted to someone you don’t even like talking to much less want a relationship with. 

    Spark is the icing on the cake when everything else meshes well with two people (but isn’t because they mesh well).  Yes, both parties feel it, and it’s usually obvious to others too (and not in a I can’t keep my hands off you way, but a whole element of togetherness).

    Being in a relationship with out a spark, if everything else is great isn’t bad and plenty of people do it and are happy… but it’s like something’s missing.  Like you forgot the chocolate chips in the cookies… they are still good, still cookies, but missing something.  If you never knew they were supposed to have the chocolate chips it likely wouldn’t be an issue… but if you know, you’ll always know somethings missing.

    I hope that helps.  I can’t put it into words really, at least not ones that really describe it. 🙁 sorry

    Post # 4
    Member
    17 posts
    Newbee

    @savychic1616:  I agree with MrsTangerine. I can try to explain how I feel the spark… In the beginning the “spark” was probably a little different. At first there was the excitement of finding out common interests, getting to know one another, and being able to tell that this person gets you. Now our relationship, 3 years later, I would say the spark is being able to finish each others sentences, guessing what the other person will do, doing thoughtful and meaningful things for each other and over all finding your best friend. My fiance and I are telepathic sometimes, I swear. I think my fiancee and I would get along great without that “spark” but that spark is hard to find, and it is what I believe makes a successful (happy/meaningful) relationship that outshines every other partnership I have had.

    Post # 5
    Member
    862 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    the “spark”, for us, is just our sense of humour. no matter how bad a day we’re having, a couple sentences later we’re giggling at each other like mischievous children. idk why, but I never have more fun with anyone else! even from the beginning, we just felt extremely comfortable and relaxed around each other, as if we’d known each other forever.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1430 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    Wedding bee ate my post, yay!

    Post # 7
    Member
    1430 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    Let’s try this again…

    Would you say spark is different from attraction? If so, how?

    A spark is what you attracts you to a person after you’ve interacted with them. Attraction is what draws you to someone on a purely physical or trait based level. It’s what you have before you actually interact with the other person.

    Usually, if there is a spark, then both parties would feel it, no?

    No, that’s where unrequited love comes into play.

    Do you think that people who look for the “spark” is not looking for the right thing?

    I think it’s good to look for the spark. It may not be there intially, and may grow out of a friendship. But it’s good to have that spark since it makes you want to spend time with the other person and work at the relationship.

    Must everyone feel a spark to enter into a relationship? What is a relationship without the spark really like?

    No everyone doesn’t have to feel a spark to enter into a relationship. After one of my exes and I broke up, I entered a rebound relationship. From my end, there was no spark, although the guy I was dating felt there was. After about 2 months I was ready to leave the relationship since I had nothing making me want to spend time with him anymore. As bad as this sounds, he’d served his purpose in my mind since my heart was more or less healed by that point. So when we broke up, he was heart broken and trying to make things right with us, but I was just ready to move on. I felt bad for breaking his heart, but I didn’t feel bad about the relationship being over at that point.

    Post # 8
    Member
    4370 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    The “spark” definitely exists, but if I tried to describe it, I would fail miserably. You can have attraction without a spark and you can have a relationship without a spark, but imo, what I consider the “spark” really makes a happy, successful relationship.

    Post # 9
    Member
    3580 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I felt a lightening bolt go down my spine when we kissed the first few times. Totally surreal. I had a quite literal spark with my Darling Husband. 🙂

    Post # 10
    Member
    3823 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @savychic1616:  It’s like an attraction that’s beyond the superficial. I definitely had that with my Fiance and the physical attraction just felt like a perk. 

    I still feel it whenever he’s near. Even more so… it’s as if, with every thing he says and does, I fall for him more and more.

    Post # 11
    Member
    7649 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    The “spark” isn’t really something you can explain. You just know when it happens. It can come it many different forms. My first kiss with Darling Husband I felt a spark, but it was different than the spark I felt when I first talked to him. I still get butterflies (a type of spark, if you will) when he comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist and kisses me.

    I don’t think both people need to have the spark right away. You can feel it later on. You don’t have to feel it in order to enter into a relationship.l

    Post # 12
    Member
    1006 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    There were men who asked me out in the past. People I got along great with, had a lot in common with, liked being friends with, people I was even physically attracted to, but all that is nothing without that spark. It is strange, it just doesn’t feel right without it. When you feel it, you know it. There is this jolt, this excitement about being around them, even hearing about them. Suddenly every stupid detail becomes soo interesting. Somehow it feels like you don’t have to try so hard. I tried dating someone when there was no spark, it felt like I kept trying to be a good girlfriend, for the sake of being a good girlfriend. But when there’s that spark you want to do things to make him happy. I didn’t try so much as I just thought of things all the time out of no where. “Ohh this makes me think of him, he’d love this” or I’d be more interested in all his stories even if the same ones were boring with someone else. It’s like life was just breathed in. Spark is like the soul of the relationship. I guess it’s a lot harder to describe than I would have thought!

    Post # 13
    Member
    335 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    The only way I can describe the ‘spark’ is feeling like we’ve known each other our whole lives, even after we’d just met.  

    Post # 14
    Member
    3170 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Attraction is thinking somone is sexy. The spark is about feeling. I can’t help but smile when I think about my husband, I still get butterflys when I drive home from work and I know he will be there. We still flirt and have fun together.

    It’s not always necessary to have a spark to be together, I think if you are really in love and meant to be then that spark will ignite at some point.

    Post # 15
    Member
    9675 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I think attraction is well…just being attracted or thinking someone is attractive (looks-wise).  I think a spark has more to do with chemistry and personality-match.  It’s like being attracted to someone’s personality or having that great interaction between both of your personalities that just works for both of you.

    Post # 16
    Member
    4755 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    attraction is “holy poo, he’s a hottie” (physical only)

    spark is “holy poo, we get on so well!” (emotional + physical)

     

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