(Closed) Can you elope, but also tell people?

posted 4 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 2
Member
4092 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Manhattan, NY

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elopingfan :  I don’t know if an elopement has to be a big secret, but it sounds like you really want a destination wedding and are afraid that people won’t be able to make it? I wouldn’t worry about people feeling “resentful” about spending money on your wedding. If they can’t afford to travel then they shouldn’t, no one’s putting a gun to their head. 

Post # 3
Member
202 posts
Helper bee

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elopingfan :  I think you’re describing a private ceremony. 

If you want your friends and fam there (I ask about because some people do not), do a destination wedding, invite them, and if they attend they attend and if they don’t they don’t. You still get the wedding you want and you’re marrying your SO. Win-win, IMO.

If you’re concerned with people’s reaction/resentment, and the number of people you’re inviting in manageble, consider reaching out to them and letting them know your dilemma. “I’d love to have you there, but we’re thinking of doing XYZ, what are your thoughts?”

Post # 4
Member
5362 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2016

I think this is fine! We just called it our wedding moon when we were planning on doing this. We ended up having a small destination wedding and don’t regret a thing!

Post # 5
Member
2593 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club

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elopingfan :  The definition of elope is to secretly get married. However, you can definitely have a destination wedding without inviting people. You can call it an “intimate getaway wedding” and when people ask, just tell them it’s the two of you, or it’s only including immediate family members or what have you.

Post # 6
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Fiance and I are doing this! We are doing a “weddingmoon” in Jamaica through Sandals resort. We are 29 and 28 and a lot of our friends and close family are already married or have small children, busy schedules, other priorities, etc. and we also did not want to make a big deal about anyone coming. So we threw it out there like hey if you want to come then come, if not- we will celebrate when we get back! Thankfully, both of our families are super supportive and happy for us. Our close friends are too. Best decision we ever made! We are getting married October 7 πŸ™‚ everyone who asks about our wedding tells us we don’t sound stressed out enough and we laugh and say “cause we aren’t!” Haha. It’s all about you and your Fiance, bee. Do what makes you happy πŸ™‚

Post # 7
Member
4813 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

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elopingfan :   The definition of eloping is running away in secret to get married.

If you want a small destination wedding, just call it that!  It sounds wonderful!

Post # 8
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

We did the samething as

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tessadub. We got married (just the two of us) in Jamaica and then when we got back we had a little party. Everyone knew what we were doing. We didnt make it any secret once we had a plan. Everyone was really good about it and a lot of people told us if they were going to get married again thats the way they would do it! Its sooo much less stressful and if you go to a place like Sandals (or almost any other resort in the Carribbean) they do everything for you! All we had to do was decide what we were wearing and show up! The last few details were done when we got there. πŸ™‚

Post # 9
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

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ambartlett :  aw, it makes me SO happy to hear a happy destination wedding success story! πŸ˜€ We are VERY excited

Post # 10
Member
694 posts
Busy bee

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tessadub :  We went to Sandals Mo Bay for our honeymoon. I get so sad when I see pictures because I miss it SO much. You will absolutely love it. It’s gorgeous.

Post # 11
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

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queennen :  Happy to hear that!!! We can’t wait! I love everything I have read about it so far.

Post # 12
Member
839 posts
Busy bee

You can call it whatever you want, and do whatever you want!

Post # 13
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

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tessadub :  We went to Sandals too and it was awesome! Post an update when you get back. I would LOVE to hear how your’s went! πŸ™‚

Post # 14
Member
587 posts
Busy bee

That is essentialy mine and my future fiance’s plan: elope in a destination and have a weddingmoon there. πŸ™‚ I think eloping doesn’t have to be a secret. It used to mean running away and getting married just the two of you, but I see it used as a “wedding with just the two of you” and some are planned just the same, they just don’t have anyone else present in the wedding! 

Me and my man will be open about our wedding being with only us attending. I prefer to keep my boy all to myself! Hehe.

Post # 15
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

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ambartlett :  Okay, will do! πŸ™‚

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