(Closed) Can you elope, but also tell people?

posted 3 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 31
Member
22 posts
Newbee

elopingfan :  I am eloping and combining it with a destination wedding for my civil ceremony and everyone knows. Initially it asn’t super well received, but then people got over it ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 34
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I’m calling mine an elopement because it will just be the two of us. I didn’t want to call it a destination wedding because I didn’t want people try to invite themselves. But the second we got engaged everyone asked if they were invited so we announced our plans so there wouldn’t be any questions.

Post # 36
Member
3114 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

We told a small handful of people and kept it a secret otherwise, we considered it eloping.

Post # 37
Member
2126 posts
Buzzing bee

elopingfan :  yeah we are, and honestly – I’m REALLY excited! I have really enjoyed hanging out with my bridesmaids, going dress shopping, visiting venues, etc etc. 

I’m a super shy, quiet kind of person so it is also terrifying, but everyone is really excited for us and for the wedding so it kind of gives me a boost. I kind of thought that in 20 years time I wanted to be able to think back on a wedding, not just the two of us getting married alone overseas. We got engaged on our anniversary in Italy, so having a traditional wedding is kind of the best of both worlds? 

Post # 39
Member
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

There is nothing wrong with it.We finally got engaged after being together 18 years (started dating at 19, and had lots of things to get in order before either of us really thought about it).  

We finally got engaged after being together 18 years (started dating at 19, and had lots of things to get in order before either of us really thought about it).  So of course, friends and family wanted to know what we planned, and when we’d set a date.  An off-handed comment from some friends who had a huge 200+ guest wedding with 8 BMs and 8 GMs in the party, “spend more on the honeymoon than the wedding – we didn’t even have time to enjoy our wedding” started us thinking about a very small ceremony.  Then we realized that H’s parents, one on oxygen and both pretty much unable to walk unassisted even through the grocery store, would not have an easy time at all attending anything that did not take place in their living room.  

Added to this is the fact that one reason it took so long to propose is that  H has always been nervous about what his part in the ceremony would entail, and hated the idea of having an “audience”, standing there waiting for me to walk the aisle, having people stare while giving vows – he wanted it to be just us, but not at a courthouse – he wanted “nice photos”.  

So, while researching honeymoons, we learned that all inclusive resorts will often marry you if you stay a certain number of nights.  DING!  We had our answer.

A few emails with a travel agent, we had our venue selected, and then started telling friends.  At first, we’d thought a few people might want to come and were okay with that, but then realized how hurt that would make H’s parents, and so we said, no guests, sorry, we love you and will bring back pic, but this is easiest for us to do on our own.  And we figured that would be it.  Then, without our necessarily wanting it, we found that bachelor and bachelorette celebrations were in the planning stages, as well as a shower, and no saying, “no guys, you don’t have to do this” would be listened to.  So our friends gave us the full wedding treatment and were able to celebrate with us before we went, and we had a great trip, beautiful wedding and now are married ๐Ÿ™‚

An elopement is no longer defined only as sneaking off in the dead of night.  It pretty much means it’s just you or maybe a very tiny handful of guests ๐Ÿ™‚

Some people still prefer to elope and then only announce it when you come back, and even have a reception then.  

 

 

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