- 1 year ago
- Wedding: May 2017
It happened for me! I met my now husband by chance online in a game. We lived in different countries. Within just a couple of weeks there was a definite connection there. After a few months of chatting by text or in game, we decided to try voice chatting. After 4 months of that I was head over heels in love with him, and yet I had never seen his face (we didn’t exchange pictures or video chat). I’m a VERY skeptical person, and a very slow mover. And yet, I was the first one to say I love you. Of course my protective family were all freaking out that I was being catfished.
EVENTUALLY, 6 months or so after meeting online, we decided we should meet in person. He came to my country first, to meet my family and put them at ease (they all loved him). We spent 6 weeks together and in that time I discovered that he was exactly the man I had fallen in love with online. And so I felt I could enter into a *real* relationship with him from that point onwards. It also didn’t hurt that I found out he was crazy attractive and our physical chemistry was off the charts. For me meeting online without faces was great because it meant I really did love him for him and not his looks (in previous relationships I had mistaken attraction for feelings). Although if I had met him and there was absolutely no physical chemistry then I don’t know how things would have turned out, and things absolutely feel different in person vs. through a screen. And that’s certainly something to keep in mind. I found throughout our online relationship, I had to do a lot of “reality checks” to ensure I wasn’t letting myself be taken away by the sheer mystery and romance of it all.
Anyway, fast forward to now, we have been married over a year and I am blissfully happy. He is the best person I have ever known in my life and honestly I still sometimes can’t believe I got so lucky.
However. I picked the “I’m skeptical” option in your poll. Because while it CAN and DOES happen, I wouldn’t go recommending it for everyone. You *have* to meet, for that feeling of love to actually be real.I do think that while I loved him before we met, I could only *truly* say I loved him when we were in person, when the reality of him matched up with my idea of him (which is why I didn’t consider him my bf until after our first meeting). Often that is not the case, the reality doesn’t match up with the idea, which was my biggest fear in our relationship. “What if we just aren’t the same in person?”. It was a sort of Shrodinger’s Cat situation before we met in person. I both loved him and didn’t love him, and the truth could only be known once I had opened the box and met him, for the love to be something actually real.
Because honestly I think most of the time, people are catfished, or they’re simply hiding a part of themselves from you, and it’s easy to do that when everything you are is curated through text and phone calls, rather than seeing that person in the flesh in their everyday life (this is why I knew I had to meet my SO before committing to a relationship with him). I’m lucky in that my husband was and is an incredibly open person and never tried to hide anything from me, even the not so-rosy stuff. But that isn’t the case with most people, online or no, so I think most of the time, if you haven’t met, it’s more infatuation than anything else, because you truly don’t know how honest that person is being with you. There’s a reason there’s a tv show about this topic.