Can You Fall in Love With Someone You Haven’t Met? (Poll)

posted 1 year ago in Relationships
  • poll: Can you fall in love with someone you’ve never met?
    Of course! Love can strike anyone, anytime, anywhere. : (20 votes)
    11 %
    I’m skeptical. Maybe if they have a lot in common and can realistically meet at some point. : (49 votes)
    28 %
    No. That’s for people living in their mothers’ basements. : (29 votes)
    16 %
    No, it’s too easy to be conned. : (32 votes)
    18 %
    No. Sparks and chemistry require physical presence. : (29 votes)
    16 %
    Yes, I have done it. : (17 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    89 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    It happened for me! I met my now husband by chance online in a game. We lived in different countries. Within just a couple of weeks there was a definite connection there. After a few months of chatting by text or in game, we decided to try voice chatting. After 4 months of that I was head over heels in love with him, and yet I had never seen his face (we didn’t exchange pictures or video chat). I’m a VERY skeptical person, and a very slow mover. And yet, I was the first one to say I love you. Of course my protective family were all freaking out that I was being catfished.

    EVENTUALLY, 6 months or so after meeting online, we decided we should meet in person. He came to my country first, to meet my family and put them at ease (they all loved him). We spent 6 weeks together and in that time I discovered that he was exactly the man I had fallen in love with online. And so I felt I could enter into a *real* relationship with him from that point onwards. It also didn’t hurt that I found out he was crazy attractive and our physical chemistry was off the charts. For me meeting online without faces was great because it meant I really did love him for him and not his looks (in previous relationships I had mistaken attraction for feelings). Although if I had met him and there was absolutely no physical chemistry then I don’t know how things would have turned out, and things absolutely feel different in person vs. through a screen. And that’s certainly something to keep in mind. I found throughout our online relationship, I had to do a lot of “reality checks” to ensure I wasn’t letting myself be taken away by the sheer mystery and romance of it all.

    Anyway, fast forward to now, we have been married over a year and I am blissfully happy. He is the best person I have ever known in my life and honestly I still sometimes can’t believe I got so lucky. 

    However. I picked the “I’m skeptical” option in your poll. Because while it CAN and DOES happen, I wouldn’t go recommending it for everyone. You *have* to meet, for that feeling of love to actually be real.I do think that while I loved him before we met, I could only *truly* say I loved him when we were in person, when the reality of him matched up with my idea of him (which is why I didn’t consider him my bf until after our first meeting). Often that is not the case, the reality doesn’t match up with the idea, which was my biggest fear in our relationship. “What if we just aren’t the same in person?”. It was a sort of Shrodinger’s Cat situation before we met in person. I both loved him and didn’t love him, and the truth could only be known once I had opened the box and met him, for the love to be something actually real.

    Because honestly I think most of the time, people are catfished, or they’re simply hiding a part of themselves from you, and it’s easy to do that when everything you are is curated through text and phone calls, rather than seeing that person in the flesh in their everyday life (this is why I knew I had to meet my SO before committing to a relationship with him). I’m lucky in that my husband was and is an incredibly open person and never tried to hide anything from me, even the not so-rosy stuff. But that isn’t the case with most people, online or no, so I think most of the time, if you haven’t met, it’s more infatuation than anything else, because you truly don’t know how honest that person is being with you. There’s a reason there’s a tv show about this topic.

    Post # 17
    Member
    235 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2023

    I think just because “you” can’t or haven’t doesn’t mean that no one can. I did fall in love with someone online. We were together for 11 months before we got to meet and he is currently snuggling a blanket next to me. He is the exact same person that he was online, nothing changed besides now being in close proximity. Not everyone lies about who they are or tries to hide themselves. 

    Post # 18
    Member
    76 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: March 2018

    i’m not sure whether it was love if you are attracted to someone you never met before. since it’s easy to fake via text and that you might only feel good when someone pays attention to you

    Post # 19
    Hostess
    8404 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: Dorset, UK

    I agree with many PP’s. I think you can fall in love with the IDEA of someone and you can fall in love with how they make you FEEL but I don’t think that is the same as falling in love with someone you have never met!

    Post # 20
    Member
    1477 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

    You can have high compatibility/connection with someone, absolutely.  But real love requires a physical presence in my opinion.

    Post # 21
    Member
    169 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2016

    No way. People can meet online and then fall in love, but they can’t fall in love before they’ve met. 

    Post # 22
    Member
    1422 posts
    Bumble bee

    None of these answers really match what I’m thinking.

    You can of course fall in love with someone you initially met online. But (and this is a big but), truly being in love with someone requires knowing them really well otherwise you’re in love with your image of them. And I don’t think you can truly know someone well enough to be in love with them and not their image through purely online means.

    Your relationship with a person may have potential, but you’re not in love with them until you’ve spent a lot of time actually with them learning about who they are.

    Post # 23
    Member
    577 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    I think emotionally maybe you can. But the physical connection has to be there for a long-term successful relationship. And I think that can only be accomplished through physical interaction. For instance, a HUGE turnoff and dealbreaker for me is bad breath or body odor in general. While it can be fixed, usually an adult with this problem is not likely to fix it, or unable to. Some people have legitimately medical conditions which cause it, and that’s unfortunate. But, odor is a no-go for me. Same goes with just physical chemistry. You just don’t know you have it until you try it. It doesn’t necessarily have to be sex, but some kind of physical touch.

    Post # 25
    Member
    1457 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    sassy411 :  I love watching 90 day fiancé !! But seriously, it  seems as the only relationships that actually have a chance are when the couples meet in person randomly first (Russ and Pao- although it looks in turmoil right now), Kiralym and Alan, Danny and Amy, Justin and Evelyn… etc. I agree with most other pp that you can fall in love with the idea of someone.

    Post # 27
    Member
    1457 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    sassy411 :  I really thought she’d  walk after the big fight!!!  My husband watches it too 😂

    Post # 28
    Member
    1011 posts
    Bumble bee

    Yep.  It’s not sustainble, though, in most cases.

    Post # 30
    Member
    3421 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

    I think a person can fall in love online, and I’m sort of surprised by the responses claiming to know what falling in love is for everyone, as if it is one standard thing or fixed experience. 

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