(Closed) Can you please just leave me alone?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
4099 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Pupperoni:  Me, personally, I would blacklist her email address and phone number, and any other method she has of contacting you.. I would put return to sender on that invite and kindly state if she asks why, that you were being the bigger person.. If shes only inviting you to ‘prove something’ than you are the bigger person by sticking to your guns and your feelings, yes it hurts to lose a good friend (I did about a year ago, but feel great about it now, knowing my life is better without her), and eventually she will figure out that she isn’t part of your life anymore… I completely blacklisted the former friend of mine, to the point that if my parents get a letter from her they either burn it or return it (they have only ever gotten 1 I think).. Thats my 2 cents, hope you don’t mind my chime in…

Post # 4
Member
748 posts
Busy bee

I’m really sorry this has happened to you. We all have those friendships unfortunately. My mom had a very good friend that she never speaks to anymore, and I had a great friend that I now only very rarely speak to.

I agree with @HiroshymaTetrastar, I think you should blacklist her phone number and block her email address, and return all of her letters to sender. With the wedding invitation, I would simply respectfully decline or return her invitation. I would make sure she doesn’t find out about anything else that goes on in your life as well (I would personally tell friends). Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I agree with the other bees.  Knowing about you only seems to feed her obnoxious ego, so cutting ALL possible ties will give you peace of mind.  Definitely “Return to Sender” on that invite, as well.  Good luck for a drama-free life!

Post # 6
Member
1036 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

dont you just hate when you feel you have to be the bigger person. i agree that if & when she does send your invite you do return to sender. im sorry you had to go through this.

Post # 7
Member
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Block her on EVERYTHING and never talk to her again. 

That’s what I’d do, anyway, lol. 

Post # 8
Member
12952 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yeah, I’d block her on everything and continue on with your life.  Maybe someday when she gets out of middle school, she’ll realize how ridiculous she is!

Post # 9
Member
9650 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@imageeksowhat:  Ditto.  She sounds toxic, who needs it?

Post # 10
Member
650 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I had a friend that did something like this after college and I think that she only wanted to be able to say that she was the “bigger person”. I blocked her on everything and moved on…it was seriously getting old!

Post # 11
Member
1280 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I would block her on everything and just say move on….when someone is that toxic and provides no value for your life then they’re not really necessary….your life doesn’t need her in it and you are better w/o her in it.

Post # 12
Member
7 posts
Newbee

I had a very similar situation with my cousin/ best friend. She did some pretty ugly things to me and my family too and when I confronted her, she didn´t wanna talk about it and just couldn´t (rather didn´t want to) see my point.

She was engaged at that time and I was going to be her maid of honor. Well, after long discussions and tears (mine) she wrote me (!) that her Fiance and her decided that I am no longer her Maid/Matron of Honor but they would be happy to see me at their wedding anyway.

To be clear, I did NEVER tell her that I don´t want to be her Maid/Matron of Honor anymore. I thought that it will be alright, as always.

That was like 2 months before her wedding and I was so hurt, that I decided not to go, although I really got an invitation (was very surprised to get it). My mom, sister and brother in law didn´t went too.

That was like two years ago, and we are still not talking to each other.

Now I am getting married,and my heart is screaming that I want to see her that day, but on the other hand i know that she does not intent to apologize EVER. Maybe she is sorry, but she is just not the person for apologies.

But I don´t regret that I wasn´t on my cousins wedding. It was the right thing to do, what was I supposed to do, going there and see her smiling into the camera with her new MOH?

I was trying to protect my heart from breaking any more than it already did.

You are right, an invitation is no apology.

In opposite to Your old friend, mine is not trying to get my attention in any way. And believe me, it really hurts. I know it may be annoying, but deep in my heart I would be happy that she at least does that.

ohh I´m not much of a help am I? 🙂

I would not go either. But maybe it´s your friends way of saying that she´s sorry? I don´t know what kind of person she is, but I think if you would meet her and look into her eyes you´ld know what to do. If or if she´s not worth it.

Longer post than yours, sorry about that..take care bees

 

Post # 13
Member
1434 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

Just put on your white wedding dress & go to her wedding. That should let her know you’re pissed;)

Or–block her & move on. She’s annoying & childish.

Post # 14
Member
3248 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I’ve had experiences kind of like that, and ugh, it is really uncomfortable!! My advice would be to block her emails, calls, and burn or tear up any letters before you read them! Also, it would probably be best to avoid going to her wedding if you possibly can– it seems to me that that would bring up a lot of feelings and possibly unpleasantness that it would be best to avoid. She sounds like a pretty toxic person. She’s a former friend for a reason– please, for your own sanity, keep her out of your life! It’s no use having to communicate with someone who always says mean things to you.

 

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