Post # 1
Our officiant strongly encourages writing our own vows to add to the ceremony. Neither of us are very PDA about our relationship, like at all. For us, it would be super weird to act all lovey-dovey in front of other people. I am at a total loss trying to come up with/find vows online. Most of what I come across I can’t imagine us saying in front of people. We are just really private about that stuff.
Any suggestions? Anyone in the same boat? What did you do?
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
@Pinkmoon: We are the SAME way! Mushy-gushy lovey-dovery simply doesn’t define our relationship. We don’t talk to each other like that in private, so why would we do it in front of other people? For a show? I don’t think so!
We ultimately decided that writing vows to each other wasn’t ‘us’ and we aren’t going to do it. It would feel forced and awkward if we did.
tl;dr You don’t have to listen to your officiant. If it doesn’t feel like it represents your relationship, why do it? A ceremony can be just as fulfilling without personally written vows.
Post # 4
Here are the vows I wrote for myself.
I call upon these persons here present to witness that I, X do take you X to be my lawful wedded husband, my one true love and the man with whom I share my life and soul.
I vow to be your most loyal companion, to lovingly support you in all things, to share in your joy and sadness, to be patient and kind, to be slow to anger, and be the half that completes your existence. I proudly take you to be my husband and friend for all time. It is an honor to be marrying the finest person I have ever come to know.
Post # 5
Here are mine to him. Not too mushy, definitely not religious, and a touch of humor. I still ended up crying during the last line though….
“You are my very best friend, my rock and my shelter. Because of you, I laugh louder, smile broader, and strive for more in life and love. I accept you with all your faults and strengths, as I offer myself to you with all my faults and strengths. I will support you in times of need, and turn to you when I need a shoulder to lean on. I promise to always care for you as you care for me and to fill your cloudy days with sunshine. I will kill the spiders, I will share my fries with you, and I’ll eat the cucumbers out of your salad. I will always be honest and true with you. I choose you as my partner, my equal, my love. In sickness and in health I will stand by you and with you – forever. I am endlessly proud and eternally blessed to call you the love of my life, and now my husband.”
Post # 6
Your vows don’t have to be lovey dovey. They just need to be from you and reflect what you know about each other. We wrote our vows and they were completely different from each other. Mine were a little light hearted and his was a little more serious because those are our personalities. Some things people might not understand, but they were meant for us to understand. Here is a copy of what I said to him (keep in mind I am no wordsmith)
“When we first starting dating I thought “wow this guy is so opposite me. He’s nice and has great grammar and I can’t even spell the word ‘grammar’!! He majored in a “romance language” and I make spreadsheets. He irons and I wear wrinkled clothes. He’s crazy about sports and politics and I just want to watch music videos.”
Those things may make out relationship complicated, but our love is simple. I love you because you make me smile and I promise to do my best to always make you smile.
I promise I will always be there when you call, it might take me awhile to return the call, but I’ll always be there.
I promise to never wash your work shirts and to not wash my purple shirts with your white shirts
I promise to always be present in our relationship, even when it gets tough. That it’s not about one of us winning or losing, but the strength we have as a couple.
I promise to believe in you – in the man you are today and the man you will become throughout the years
I promise to never forget about the little things; to kiss your head when it hurts, to thank you for always giving me the last of the coffee or the hot water in the shower.
And most importantly, I promise to love you.”
Post # 7
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@Pinkmoon: My FH is a writer so he wrote personalized vows for our officiant to read before getting to the traditional “I do’s.”
There is a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path. Of all human relationships, marriage is at once the most revered and the most challenging. A ceremony will neither create nor sustain your marriage. Only you can do that – through love and patience. Through dedication and perseverance. Through unparalleled honesty. By allowing yourselves to know one another as no one else can. By helping, and supporting, and believing in each other. Through tenderness and laughter. By knowing when to say you are wrong, and knowing when to forgive. By learning to savor your differences, and to nourish your similarities. And by knowing what things are important now, and what things are important forever. Today, this ceremony shall bear witness to and affirm before those you love the choice you make to stand together in life as teammates, partners, and friends.
Your words will be your expression of your love, the verbal foundation of an abiding and ever-deepening relationship. These ties that you now assume are tender and sacred because of your choice to remain partners through the years. Your commitment to keep the vows you take here today will not be an obligation to any civic law or religious creed, but rather a desire to love and be loved by the person you have found and chosen in this world. Life is simple: you make choices and you don’t look back. Continue to love one another fully, and without limitation, and your life will have joy, and the home you establish together will be a place in which you both can steer the direction of your growth, your freedom, your hopes, and your responsibility.
Post # 8
@Pinkmoon: We didn’t write our own, but we did kind of combine a few of the traditional vows.
“I (name) take you (name) to be my (husband/wife). I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love and honor you all the days of my life.”
SHort, sweet and to the point. Not overly mushy in my opinion.
Post # 9
Aha! I found these. Now you guys see that when I say simple, I mean SIMPLE. I think we will be happy with these. The officiant writes a whole ceremony up for us by asking us to choose 5 words to describe each other. So it isn’t going to be completely heartless, it just won’t be us saying it! Which is exactly what we want.
I, Guy, take you, Girl, to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.
I, Girl, take you, Guy, to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.
Wife, take and wear this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity.
Husband, take and wear this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity.
Post # 10
@MrsWBS: Hahaha good timing posting that!
Post # 11
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Here are ours. We wrote them the morning of – we put it off so long because we also felt weird about professing lots of mushy love stuff in front of everybody. In the end I’m really glad we did personal vows, and I think they turned out really well without being too ewwy gooey.
Groom: (I can’t quite remember what he said – something along these lines) Bride, I’ve known you for half my life now, and it’s been the best half, by far. You are the most inspiring person I know. I appreciate the wisdom and judgement you bring to our relationship, and over time I’ve realized that your judgement is definitely better than mine. You’ve been the love of my life for 13 years now. I promise to make you laugh every day. I promise to guard our health and happiness. And I promise to be the best husband I possibly can be.
Bride: Groom, I’ve known that you are the love of my life since approximately 1997. You, being a clueless teenage boy, took a little longer to figure it out – but I’m so glad you finally did. I feel so incredibly blessed that through all of our adventures since then, we’ve managed to maintain what we have together. I can’t wait for the lifetime of adventures to come. I promise to continue to love you fully, and to be the best wife I can possibly be.
Read more: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/our-unplugged-unreligious-self-written-but-slightly-traditional-ceremony-script#ixzz2gmGrBhbJ
Post # 12
We had absolutely no religion in our ceremony, and I don’t think our vows were overly mushy. Here they are:
“I, XXX, take you, XXX, to be my lawfully wedded wife/husband. I promise to honor you, I promise to cherish you, I promise to respect you, I promise to be faithful to you, I promise to always give you the benefit of the doubt. I promise to trust you. I promise to stand beside you in your moments of happiness and sadness; I promise to be your greatest fan and your most loyal and best friend; I promise to love you unconditionally and without reservation, for all the days of my life.”
After we said these vows, though, my husband 100% surprised me with his own “vows” that he hadn’t told me about. They were kind of amazing. I have the paper on which they were written framed on my nightstand. The vows were things he was fearful of (along the lines of, “I promise to be fearful of not showing you how much I love you and appreciate you”) and he was promising me to not do them in our marriage. Then he ended it with my favorite line – “You’re my shelter. You’re my home after a long, weary journey. I promise to be afraid of losing that.”
Seriously. Best. Moment. EVER.
Post # 13
I never would have guessed that a sarcastic exchange in the JCC fitness center would have led to marriage, but I am so happy that it did. You are the kindest man I know and I am so excited to become your wife. The past five years have been amazing. I have so many great memories of us. From our first date going to see the Mummy 3 and laughing how bad the movie was, our day trips to the Oregon Coast, being that couple who has corresponding Halloween costumes, running our yearly 5k together, the yearly trips to the State Fair and starting the tradition of always getting one of those vintage looking pictures, the numerous Timbers games, moving into our apartment, and the trips we took to Iowa and the East Coast. These memories are just the start and there will be so many more to come.
You have made me a better person, and for that I thank you. I would say you are making an honest woman out of me, but I have a feeling you are just going to laugh and say something sarcastic, but you really are.
I know that there have been sacrifices made by both of us throughout our relationship. I have had to give you up to shifts at work that last 24 to 48 hours…you have had to give up pork. I have had to give up my fortress of emotional barriers and let you in…you have had to accept my Rainbow Brite collection. However, through all of this we have grown into a strong and amazing couple and I know we will only become stronger in the future.
I love you more than I can express, we have so much to look forward to and I cannot wait to be your partner on this crazy adventure known as life. I love you.
Post # 14
- Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI
Short, simple, non-religious.
Bride: “I love you”
Groom: “I know”
-Sorry. I had to go there!
Fiance and I both agreed early on no writing our own vows. It’s not us at all so we’re not doing it. We’re going with very traditional vows provided by our officiant.
Post # 15
tagging in to read these later 🙂
Post # 16
We’re not doing our own vows, we’re using jewish vows and blessings as part of our ceremony.