(Closed) Can you specify what guests should NOT wear?

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is it rude to tell guests what not to wear (when specific about color)?

    Yes, chill out.

    No, go for it.

  • Post # 3
    2106 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Yes, it would be pretty rude. You really can’t tell people what or what not to wear, unless it’s a matter of “black tie”!

    Post # 4
    6980 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    White doesn’t seem unreasonable (although it also doesn’t really need to be said I don’t think). Black does seem a bit unreasonable because a lot of people wear black suits or “little black dresses” and they might need to go buy new clothes if they can’t wear that. Is there a reason that you don’t want people to wear black? 

    Post # 5
    1626 posts
    Bumble bee

    Rude? Dunno. Weird? You betcha!

    Post # 6
    3674 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2010

    What’s your reasoning for not wanting black?

    Post # 7
    4005 posts
    Honey bee

    I’m thinking that stipulating what guests can wear might be a little off-putting to them. I absolutely understand why you don’t want them to wear white to the wedding, but why not black? I’ve been to several weddings where black has been worn and it wasn’t a huge deal. I think it’s more widely accepted to wear black to weddings now…

    Post # 8
    3230 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I think you will be putting added stress on yourself by asking people not to wear certain colors (esp. black)

    I could just imagine you getting a hundred phone calls/emails saying why not?? And, “can I wear brown or this color or that?”

    Seems like unnecessary stress to add to your plate ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 9
    251 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I don’t think it’s rude.  It’s your day and I have seen a dozen wedding shows where the bride has made similar requests.  I personally don’t know if I want people to wear black to my wedding because my BMs will be wearing black.

    Post # 11
    1261 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    If there are cultural reasons, then I think it’s okay to respectfully request. Other than that, yeah I think it would be a bit rude.

    ETA: oop, just saw your post. Glad it’s all worked out!

    Post # 13
    1030 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Why not say something about wearing color? Try to come up with a cute saying that suggests you want colored attire instead of saying not black and white. I can’t think of anything right now, but something that has to do with “wearing ___ ____ ___ in order to help brighten our day”.

    I think your reasoning is great for not wanting black and white and telling your guests that instead of saying “please don’t wear black and white” would come off less rude. You still might get guests wearing black/white, but you might avoid those awkward phone calls about what’s aloud.

    Post # 14
    729 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I think it’s a little too controlling and puts an extra bother on the guests. Plus you are going to get someone who doesn’t get the memo and will show up in black. And i am sure once there they would find out they weren’t suppose to and could be embarrassed! 


    Post # 15
    4005 posts
    Honey bee

    I like SandDollar’s idea too! Something like, “Help to keep our day bright by wearing a bright color!”

    I find that much less offensive than “Please refrain from wearing black or white.” Telling people what the can’t do tends to make them want to do that more. When you subtlely suggest them to do something instead, they’re more apt to do that.

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