Can you wear a bra with this dress?

posted 4 months ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 46
Member
17 posts
Newbee

Hi there,

 

I am a similar size and had this same issue. I agree with everyone that you are pretty much screwed. You NEED to be firm that the dress isn’t going to work for you.

 

Adhesive bras don’t work for your (our) size because they provide coverage, not support. Some structure in the dress might help, but the dress doesn’t seem to have any.

 

The suggested low back bra will not work either. It is GOING to show.  A lot.  Raising the back of the dress (in order to cover the bra) would typically involve shortening the straps, but the style of the dress allows little scope for that. You would be dealing with very extensive (and expensive) alterations that would change the appearance of the dress, which might not make your friend too happy. And then, after spending several hundreds on the dress, bra, and alterations, you would still risk the bra making unwanted appearances.

 

I won’t comment too much on the Kim K. taping solution since I haven’t tried it.  It seems like it would be difficult and maybe painful to pull off.

 

In theory, your friend should want you to avoid flashing, sagging, jiggling, or exposed undergarments.  It’s her day, and I’m sure she doesn’t want her keepsake memories to include your wardrobe malfunctions.  She should be more sensitive to your concerns!

 

Finally, if you really don’t feel like you can veto the dress, it might be possible to use an adhesive solution during the ceremony and for pictures, then change into a fully supportive bra—with a shawl or bolero—for the reception.  But I really think you should push for another dress.

 

 

Good luck!

Post # 47
Member
247 posts
Helper bee

lillc :  in this case what I would do is to cover part of the dress ( in the lower back) with lace that would hide back of that bra. I would take it to tailor ( it is a quick job)  or would do it myself. 

With my bridesmaids’s dress we were late to order too, no time for trimming the length and dresses were super long, so I had to order what did not require trimming. I had to order petite size, which was shorter, but my size 0  in petite was too tight in breast if zipped ( it was corset top). Dress arrived 2 days before wedding and I had to literally sew 2 thin pieces of ribbon to the top of the corset ( in the back) to give me support and some space to breath, zipper did not fully close. 

Post # 50
Member
856 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I am also fairly large and when I used stick on (the adhesive type, not the silicone type)- I used two sets. It worked fine and stayed put.

Post # 51
Member
525 posts
Busy bee

I don’t know much about this stuff but can you have cups sewn into the dress?

Post # 53
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

lillc :  Girl with all due respect GROW A PAIR and tell her no! There is no more to “think” about. That is a ridiculous dress than maybe 1% of the population can wear. Tell her youre sorry and want to support her on her wedding day but that you cannot wear that dress. Don’t mince words! Tell her you’re happy to wear another Watters dress in that color and fabric and you will be cohesive enough. Say that you are not comfortable showing that much skin in the back. 

Post # 54
Member
6057 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

lillc :  OP you seriously have to grow a backbone here. 

Post # 55
Member
6939 posts
Busy Beekeeper

lillc :  

Yes  really  OP you hav to stop being so accomodating and saying you ‘ll think about it etc. The  fact is she is utterly set on this dress and won’t allow herself to believe  your concerns cannot be dealt with. Some of these bras cost  100 bucks too.

I would say  yes you will get it, but  you are going add a piece of  lace/drape across the back , Not ask , tell. Pleasant but firm ( which is how you want your girls to be in that dress lol) 

Post # 56
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I think at this point, since she doesn’t want to budge on the dress and doesn’t seem to understand the problem, I would just end up wearing a normal bra that matches my skintone. But I have never cared about my bra showing, they are worn for a reason. 

Post # 57
Member
17 posts
Newbee

I sympathize with your dilemma. I think you need to explain how it’s in HER best interest to pick a different dress or at least let you wear a different one. 

Here is an approach to consider:

“In thinking about it I am still really concerned either that I will not be adequately supported or that my bra will show. Either circumstance would draw attention and make me extremely uncomfortable.  Everything would be memorialized in photos and video. I really do not want to become the center of attention on your day.

”I appreciate your offer to pay for alterations but the changes to the open back needed to cover an adequate bra would probably be extensive and totally change the appearance of the dress. It would seem to be more sensible just to pick a different dress in the same color. It looks like there are dresses that are similar to the one you picked but don’t pose the same undergarment challenges.”

Post # 60
Member
23 posts
Newbee

Yay!  I’m glad she’s open to a new one! I think there’s a chance a low back bra could work in this one (with the back of the bra below the buttons.  But honestly I would probably not worry about a peak of bra being visible through the slit in the back of the dress.  This is a much better option. 

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