(Closed) Can you wear black to weddings?

posted 3 years ago in Guests
Post # 17
Member
2414 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

That old saw about wearing black means you hate one of the marriage partners is old and has to stop. For so many people, black is the only color they feel comfortable in, and adding colored shoes, jewelry, wraps, is unnecessary. 

I went to a wedding years ago in a black dress, and my friend who was a reader also wore a black dress. Some might argue that is the reason the marriage barely lasted 2 years!

Post # 18
Member
1536 posts
Bumble bee

I wore a black sem-formal to my cousins evening January wedding.  I thought I would be the oddball, but almost all the women were in some sort of fancy black dress.

Post # 19
Member
8505 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

DanaWeddingGuest :  it’s definitely dying out, that’s why I think it’s important to know what the other guests think. Plenty of our friends, including one of our readers, wore black and it was fine because that is their style. My Mother-In-Law on the other hand NEVER wears black and it was well known that it took her some getting used to a non-Jewish DIL (she always liked me, it would have just been better if I were Jewish lol) so that’s why I thought it was best she avoid the color at our wedding. I did say “hey if that’s what you want my family to think then by all means wear black I’m not stopping you. But if you DON’T want them to think it then stick with your usual colorful self.”  

Post # 20
Member
2753 posts
Sugar bee

Last wedding we went to had all four of us girls wearing a variation of LBD wrap dresses  with either pearls or statement necklaces.  It should be fine.

Post # 21
Member
12508 posts
Honey Beekeeper

lulu_bell :  Traditional etiquette maintains that it is improper to wear black, white, or red. Black, because it’s the color of mourning and casts a negative vibe. Red, because it’s too attention grabbing, and white because it “steals the bride’s thunder.” Not all cultures wear black to funerals in the first place. But, yes, there are people who still go by this, and who will give the side eye to guests in black. I find it’s more typical in the south and midwest than in big cities.  

More liberal, contemporary etiquette, says that black is a fashion color, that the no black rule is outdated, and that it’s perfectly acceptable. FYI, it says the same thing about white as long as it’s not bridal looking. 

Personally, I wear black to weddings all the time, but not head to toe black. It’s a very common thing to see at weddings in my area. My bag, jewelry, wrap and shoes  will suggest a festive social occasion like a wedding. I’ll wear dark red, but not bright red. I won’t wear wear all white.

Post # 22
Member
99 posts
Worker bee

I would go for it! I’ve even seen weddings with bridesmaids in all black (and I think it looks elegent and lovely myself). 

Post # 23
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

lulu_bell :  yes! Totally okay, especially a winter wedding. I don’t see a problem with it! 

Post # 24
Member
8971 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

lulu_bell :  It used to be considered improper. I’m in my 40s and honestly was shocked the first time I saw someone wear a black dress to a wedding. It was about 10 years ago and I had never ever seen a black dress at a wedding before (except an edgy bride in a black wedding dress, but that’s different). At the time, I felt second-hand embarrassed for the young woman who obviously didn’t know any better, but now I’m embarassed at myself for being embarrased for her. Apparently she was at the front edge of a trend because now I see black at weddings all the time, on young women and older ones. So I’d say if it’s appropriate to the season, time of day, and formality of the event, it’s probably safe.

Post # 25
Member
1943 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

In my culture black or very dark colours (but especially black) is not for weddings, it would be seen as dressed for funeral instead of a happy celebration. For me personally even a black accessory like a shrug or fur bolero would stand out as “why are you wearing black” but I also understand internationally it’s not thought of this way and so I was not offended by those dressed in dark colours at my wedding.

 

Post # 26
Member
4231 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

I come from a slightly superstitious family who always say “don’t wear black to a wedding, or red to a funeral.” I normally agree, but upon seeing your intended dress I think it’ll be ok 🙂

Post # 27
Member
420 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I wear black to weddings all the time! Weddings are a formal evening affair, so a little (or long&flowy) black dress is perfect in my eyes.

Post # 28
Member
913 posts
Busy bee

Yep! For years, my go-to wedding guest dress was a LBD. I sometimes paired it accessories like a metallic lace bolero, colorful shoes, etc. to lighten it up. I never had anything but compliments!

Post # 29
Member
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2020

I say go for it! As long as it doesn’t have long sleeves and you wear a black veil lol then go for it. Plus it is slimming and goes with any other color.

Post # 30
Member
564 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

 I wear black to weddings all the time. And many people wore black to mine. No problem.  I’m a new Yorker though so take that for what it’s worth. I’m sure it’s more acceptable in some areas than others. That said I went to a wedding in Kansas (second wedding for the bride) where the bride herself (a non-goth) wore black. I really don’t think it’s a big deal. But if you think no one else will be in black just make sure you’d still feel comfortable. 

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