Canadian bees – is it normal to have a "Stag & Doe" party to fund your wedding??

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is a wedding fundraiser a real thing in Canada?

    Yup! Totally normal!

    It happens, but people think it's weird if you do it.

    I live in Canada and I've never heard of this.

  • Post # 2
    1943 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Lol, Canada is so large. Depends where you are. Not normal in my circle of friends and I actually hate them. 

    Post # 3
    657 posts
    Busy bee

    Not normal in my neighbourhood on the west coast. Never seen one, heard of one or been to one

    Post # 4
    1294 posts
    Bumble bee

    Normal where I live. We dont really think of it as a fundraiser to be honest. It’s more like a party to get cheap booze and win awesome prizes.

    In fact people are more likely to side-eye if you dont have one in my circle. 

    It’s not a thing everywhere in canada. Only some parts.

    Eta: I think you could say that about a lot of traditions though. North American bees, is it normal to come up with a list of presents you want for your wedding and throw a party with the purpose of being showered with those gifts??? 

    Is it normal to tell your best friends you want standing up for you what to wear? And that they should all dress the same?

    A lot of traditions are weird and sound like bad etiquette. 

    Post # 5
    2359 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2018

    View original reply
    ttw16 :  I have only heard of this being a thing on the Bee, I think I’ve seen someone post about doing it and they got ripped apart.

    Post # 6
    701 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

    View original reply
    ttw16 :  It is HUGE in rural Ontario. My fiance is a Groomsman in out Best mans wedding (3 weeks after ours, yay!) and they are having a Stag & Doe because the bride is from a more rural town.

    They already have over 300 people who have rsvp’d yes and are likely to raise between $8K and $10K for their wedding by doing this.

    I also knew a couple that got married last year, they hosted their stag & doe in Toronto. They made less than $1K. So it really is a more rural thing, but yes, it is a known thing in Canada!


    **It’s basically like another party / wedding event. Like a bridal shower or bachelorette except you invite anyone and everyone. You buy tickets to gain entry and some people buy tickets and dont even attend, as its a way to support the bride & groom. You get friends and family to donate prizes and then have raffles and other games to win prizes and tickets. Usualyl all the games are watched/hosted by members of the bridal party and you buy drink tickets to further support. It is kind of a fundraiser, but kind of not.

    Post # 8
    3459 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    This is common where I’m from, but definitely not across all of Canada. Even though it’s a “normal” where I live I still hate them and agree they are tacky. 

    Post # 9
    8390 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I’m in Canada and have heard of these, but I find it gross and tacky. It’s not ALL of canada obviously, mainly rural Ontario and Manitoba. 

    It’s definitely a fundraiser. Like, its the literal definition of a wedding fundraiser, IDK why anyone would say it’s not. It’s also tacky in that people who aren’t invited to the wedding are invited to the fundraiser. So they are helping to pay for the wedding that they aren’t even invited to! Gag. 

    Post # 10
    653 posts
    Busy bee

    I’m in Canada and that’s a big NOPE. A Stag/Stagette party here is one last “hurrah” before the big day. It’s not a fundraiser and there are no gifts. 

    Post # 11
    2806 posts
    Sugar bee

    I’ve heard of them and know of people who’ve done them…even been invited to a few but I always declined.  Seems gauche to me.  I would never throw a fundraiser for my wedding…

    Post # 12
    564 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    It’s not something I’ve seen done in Alberta.

    Post # 13
    4198 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 2019 - Canada

    I’ve heard of them, but they’re very localized. They dont happen where I live. In Manitoba, they are called “wedding socials” and you sell tickets, have a raffle/prizes, usually there’s a 50/50. Couples can make some serious money with one and if it’s a common thing in the area, it’s not considered tacky. 

    Post # 14
    47430 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    View original reply
    ttw16 :  Canada is a huge country, considerably larger than the USA. Just like Americans have certain regional wedding traditions, so do Canadians.

    I live in BC and have never heard of anyone here having a stag and doe.

    Post # 15
    3048 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2021

    View original reply
    ttw16 :  it’s normal where I grew up but unheard of where I live now. 

    As others already mentioned, Canada is a large nation with a lot of different regional cultures and norms. 

    Stag and Does / Buck and Does are common in rural Ontario, Quebec and Manitoba. I believe they’re called Socials in Manitoba and parts of Saskatchewan. But they’re pretty much unheard of out west and in urban areas in those provinces. 

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