Post # 1
I got a call today from one of my friends whom I have not seen or heard from in about 2+ years. She called me to find out why I had not RSVP’d for her wedding, which is this Saturday at 4pm. I explained to her that I never recieved the invitation. We then discovered that she had an old address of mine for her records (although my phone number has not changed for the last 10 years) and that’s where she sent it. I asked her why didn’t she call me sooner, she said she does not know
When I found out the date and time of her wedding, I declined and explained to her that this Saturday at 3pm was my bridal shower, invitations have already been sent and guests have already confirmed attendance. I cannot just back out on my hosts and my friends/family.
She was heartbroken and started crying on the phone, and I mean BAWLING. She stated that she will not know very many people at her wedding as most of her family cannot travel to come (she is originally from CA and her wedding will be here in TX) and the majority of the guests will be from her FI’s side. None of our mutual friends are coming (I know this because they are coming to my shower). So now I feel really bad! She asked if I could change my shower to the following weekend, stated that I still had time to call everyone and explain the situtation.
While I do feel really bad for her and would absolutely love to support her on her big day, I don’t want to cancel my shower. I have been looking forward to this for the last 3 months. Am I being completely selfish about this (BE HONEST)? Should I cancel and go? I don’t want to hurt her feelings but I don’t want to hurt my host’s feelings either as she will be renting tables and chairs to host my “Elegant Garden Party” in her backyard I don’t know what to do!
Post # 3
No. No no no no NO!
It’s too bad that both events are on the same day but DON’T cancel your shower.It just sounds like she’s emotional.
Post # 4
Personally, I don’t think I would cancel my shower to attend. It’s unfortunate that this happened, but you have an obligation to your host and guests also and the change of plans effects too many people.
It sounds odd though that so many mutual friends would have declined a wedding for a bridal shower though and that no word had gotten back to you sooner of this wedding. Is she not that close these ‘friends’?
Post # 5
No way, don’t reschedule your bridal shower. If it was so important to have you there, she wouldn’t have waited to contact you until a week before her wedding. It would be super rude to the hosts and guests of your shower to try and reschedule at this point, and it’s pretty crappy of her to even ask you to do that. You’re doing the right thing.
Post # 6
What?!? Who asks someone they haven’t even spoken to in 2 years to reschedule their shower to attend their wedding?! Sorry, she’s the one being selfish. It’s not like you guys are BFFs or anything. Sounds like you guys have grown apart. It’s not your fault she hasn’t maintained relationships enough to have anyone close attend her wedding. It would be rude of you to make your friends change your shower plans they’ve already set up. Send her a gift and wish her well, but don’t change your life for her wedding.
Post # 7
It sounds like this bride is seriously stessed out. It’s not normal to ask people to just cancel their plans for you. I would politely decline and tell her you’d love to go out to lunch and catch up or something.
Post # 8
I wouldn’t cancel my shower, especially because you haven’t been in contact with this woman in over 2 years. If it was an extremely close friend or family member it might be a different story.
Post # 9
@pinkshoes: I don’t even know if the other girls received an invitation or not. Before the bride’s call today, I had heard nothing about her wedding. It used to be 4 of us that were really close and the other 2 girls are my bridesmaids. They still speak to her every couple of months but none of them have mentioned her getting married or even being engaged for that matter!
Post # 10
No way don’t cancel your shower. I can’t believe she could be so cheeky to even ask that of you
You shouldn’t feel bad either if she has really wanted you to come she should have called you sooner.
Post # 11
It seems RIDICULOUS to cancel your own event. Send her a card, and well wishes on her day, and enjoy your shower!
Post # 12
I wouldn’t cancel. It’s extremely short notice for her wanting you to go to your wedding.
Post # 13
No, especially since your host is renting all of that furniture for your party! You aren’t a close friend and you didn’t get the invite in a reasonable amount of time (well… you didn’t get it at all!) so she will just have to understand.
Post # 14
wow. No don’t cancel. That was so rude of her to ask, you don’t need to pass off that rudeness to your guests who are coming to happily celebrate with you by asking all of them to reschedule! She can do without you.
Post # 15
I wouldn’t cancel, but only because it would be rude to the hostess of my shower, and those who have made plans to attend it. (e.g. If it was a mostly unplanned bachelorette party, I’d ask to move it). However I would attend the reception if at all possible. e.g. when does the shower end, maybe 6pm? Lots of time to get to the reception. I’m always honoured to receive a wedding invitation.
Post # 16
If I were hosting your shower and you cancelled for someone you hadn’t spoke to in 2 years I’d be hurt!especially after renting stuff to make your day special. If she was concerned about you being there she would have called sooner. Why not ask her to reschedule 😉 J/K