(Closed) Cancel my bridal shower in order to attend friend's wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should I cancel shower to attend wedding?
    Cancel - You will regret it if you don't : (9 votes)
    5 %
    Don't cancel - she should have contacted you sooner : (133 votes)
    80 %
    Try to be superwoman and do both (attend reception later) : (24 votes)
    14 %
    other (explain) : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    1853 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013


    No. No no no no NO!

    It’s too bad that both events are on the same day but DON’T cancel your shower.It just sounds like she’s emotional.

    Post # 4
    14661 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Personally, I don’t think I would cancel my shower to attend.  It’s unfortunate that this happened, but you have an obligation to your host and guests also and the change of plans effects too many people.

    It sounds odd though that so many mutual friends would have declined a wedding for a bridal shower though and that no word had gotten back to you sooner of this wedding.  Is she not that close these ‘friends’?

    Post # 5
    3688 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    No way, don’t reschedule your bridal shower. If it was so important to have you there, she wouldn’t have waited to contact you until a week before her wedding. It would be super rude to the hosts and guests of your shower to try and reschedule at this point, and it’s pretty crappy of her to even ask you to do that. You’re doing the right thing.


    Post # 6
    49 posts

    What?!? Who asks someone they haven’t even spoken to in 2 years to reschedule their shower to attend their wedding?! Sorry, she’s the one being selfish. It’s not like you guys are BFFs or anything. Sounds like you guys have grown apart. It’s not your fault she hasn’t maintained relationships enough to have anyone close attend her wedding. It would be rude of you to make your friends change your shower plans they’ve already set up. Send her a gift and wish her well, but don’t change your life for her wedding.


    Post # 7
    7561 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    It sounds like this bride is seriously stessed out. It’s not normal to ask people to just cancel their plans for you. I would politely decline and tell her you’d love to go out to lunch and catch up or something. 

    Post # 8
    1326 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I wouldn’t cancel my shower, especially because you haven’t been in contact with this woman in over 2 years. If it was an extremely close friend or family member it might be a different story. 

    Post # 10
    2951 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 1998

    No way don’t cancel your shower. I can’t believe she could be so cheeky to even ask that of you   

    You shouldn’t  feel bad either if she has really wanted you to come she should have called you sooner. 

    Post # 11
    2305 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    It seems RIDICULOUS to cancel your own event. Send her a card, and well wishes on her day, and enjoy your shower!

    Post # 12
    8576 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I wouldn’t cancel. It’s extremely short notice for her wanting you to go to your wedding.

    Post # 13
    4495 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    No, especially since your host is renting all of that furniture for your party! You aren’t a close friend and you didn’t get the invite in a reasonable amount of time (well… you didn’t get it at all!) so she will just have to understand.

    Post # 14
    2553 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    wow. No don’t cancel. That was so rude of her to ask, you don’t need to pass off that rudeness to your guests who are coming to happily celebrate with you by asking all of them to reschedule! She can do without you. 

    Post # 15
    7680 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I wouldn’t cancel, but only because it would be rude to the hostess of my shower, and those who have made plans to attend it. (e.g. If it was a mostly unplanned bachelorette party, I’d ask to move it). However I would attend the reception if at all possible. e.g. when does the shower end, maybe 6pm? Lots of time to get to the reception. I’m always honoured to receive a wedding invitation.

    Post # 16
    70 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    If I were hosting your shower and you cancelled for someone you hadn’t spoke to in 2 years I’d be hurt!especially after renting stuff to make your day special. If she was concerned about you being there she would have called sooner. Why not ask her to reschedule 😉 J/K

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