(Closed) Cancel / Postpoining Wedding

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think you should do what you want to do. One thing I discovered while planning was that I was so busy wondering about what others would think and what others liked that I lost sight of what I wanted. Me and my fiancee have decided that anyone who isnt contributing to our wedding doesnt get any say in how it goes. Aside from our close family and friends, Ive really decided to not include anyone else in my decision making process. At the end of the day its your wedding,your special day and you have to do what makes YOU happy!

Post # 5
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You’re right, that’s a hard situation and there may be no perfect answer.  The absolute most important thing to take into consideration is what will make you and your FH the happiest; what will be best for the two of you.  If he really wants a wedding, will he resent you later for not having one, even if you arrive at the decision mutually? 

It sounds like you have a beautiful ceremony set up, I really love how unique and meaningful your alternative to a bridal party is!  Wedding planning is really difficult and family can be really difficult.  The combination is not pretty.  As PP said, if people want to complain, they can pay for the wedding.

When your Future Mother-In-Law is speaking to you again, things might start to look up.  I don’t know why she isn’t, but that is a fence that will need to be mended eventually (she’s his mother) so he might want to consider trying to do it before the wedding if it’s a situation where he can possibly do something towards mending it (even if it’s just picking up the phone and saying, “Mom, you’re being ridiculous and hurtful”).  If you have a wedding and she’s not there, it will really upset him.  This is another consideration for whether you should elope; will she hold it against you?  Will your own family?  I can imagine her arguing that you cheated her out of going to her son’s wedding and blaming it all on you, and if you think that can happen, I think you’re going to have to figure out how to be diplomatic about explaining your actions to her.

Good luck, I know this is really difficult.  You two just hang onto eachother and remember that you love eachother and that whatever you decide, nothing can change that.

Post # 6
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think your ideas are all valid. The absolute last thing you want for your wedding is a day of obligation…to look around and see people you feel indifferent towards (or who feel that way towards you), flowers a cousin just had to see as your centerpieces, food you don’t even like…etc. If your families are weighing you down do something YOU want. It’s your day! If they can’t respect that and support you, then they’re not really the kind of people who should’ve been invited in the first place. I know it gets hard and tricky when family is involved but you have to remember this is a HUGE day for the 2 of you…you can’t let issues like that get in the way. The only things that should be stressing you out are the rental companies having the wrong color table cloths and the caterer not being able to serve for a decent price.  

Post # 7
Member
1992 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

YIKES! Yeah I’d probably elope too… the day is mostly about you celebrating with family not people coming with checklists judging what you did and did not do well in your wedding. Maybe just switch it to a “Destination Wedding” and then people wont have to be hurt, they’ll just have to add one more thing to the list and if that’s their attitude, you wouldn’t have wanted them there anyway…

I’m sorry but when people EVEN FAMILY are rude and selfish towards and event that is supposed to be so beautiful and supportive, you are better off without them!

 

Post # 8
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Is there anything you would miss/possibly later regret, by not having the wedding ceremony you’ve already planned? For me, one example: it’s really important to me for my Dad to be able to walk me down the aisle (with his past health history, it’s a blessing he’ll be able to), and to do our father/daughter dance. (And yes, we also considered eloping after a major family blow-up, but I realized there are too many people and things I would miss out on, that I’d really like to have at our wedding)

I think your ceremony sounds lovely- I love what you’re doing with your “attendants.” How does your Fiance feel about eloping? Are there things that he would miss?

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