(Closed) Cancel the wedding to elope??

posted 4 years ago in Elopement
Post # 2
Member
13943 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Have you told other people who may have made non-refundable travel plans?  If so, I’m in the camp that thinks you’d have to go through with it.

If not, does your fiance want to have a quick elopement?  While you have valid reasons to want the elopement, it’s not only your day, and his opinion matters just as much.

If he’s onboard and no one will be out money (except you, with the lost deposit on the venue), then I don’t see a problem with switching to an elopement.

Post # 3
Member
3440 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

Truthfully I’ve never been excited about the wedding planning process. Worrying about flowers and decor, dress shopping, venue searching, guest list, none of it! I do love my dress but only bc its a vision I came up with and had made. All I’m really looking forward to is spending time with immediate family that lives across the coast and enjoying the day with loved ones. Neither of us loved the idea of spending a ton of $ on one day or being the center of attention. And the photography quotes of $3000 – $6000, forget it. lol Personally I thought that was crazy as hell. Photographer is $1200, ceremony park is $220, restaurant reception is $1662 and we’ll have only 30 guests. My suggestion is do what works for you and feels most comfortable. 🙂 Maybe you can scale it down to immediate family only? You’ll still get to wear the dress and have your loved ones enjoy the day with you. Whatever you decide I wouldn’t worry about how anyone else reacts to your decision. The only two opinions that truly matter are the couples.

Post # 4
Member
42 posts
Newbee

Im more excited for our honeymoon than our wedding LOL to much stress, im over it

Post # 5
Member
9575 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

I would just scale it down immensely. Immediate family- parents, grands, siblings only in CO. Get married somewhere beautiful, wear the dress, and do hire a photographer. Youd regret not doing that. Then have a fantastic meal at a restaurant with everyone- and done.

Even if you lose your deposit on the venue it will still be much much cheaper and less hassle than planning a wedding for 100.

Post # 6
Member
42 posts
Newbee

View original reply
heavenlyflower :  im with you! i have a free venue in a freinds backyard… 700 for food, a free dj who is a freind and flowers will maybe be 500 because we are DIY costco flowers…. decor and rentals will be about 1200…. and my dress is about 350.00 lol. im not about to start my marriage in debt

Post # 7
Member
1338 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Painswick Church and the Falcon Hotel

Do whatever makes you happy! It’s your wedding day 

Post # 8
Member
590 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017 - Nepal

I had very similar feelings as you. We got engaged October 2013 and up until July, I couldn’t decide what to do. I wanted a traditional wedding but didn’t at the same time. The stress and expenses involved gave me anxiety just thinking about it. We decided to go on an amazing weddingmoon instead so it will be just the two of us. What was most important to me, other than getting married, was to have a wedding dress I love, amazing photos and a honeymoon. Instead of having a traditional wedding, we splurged on these three things. There is no right or wrong way to get married, though societal expectations leads us to believe otherwise. I would just do whatever feels right for you and your Fiance. Family and friends may be disappointed if you choose to elope, but if they really care about your happiness, they will support you in whatever you decide. 

Post # 9
Member
241 posts
Helper bee

My Fi and I are eloping in Colorado this summer!

We decided on an elopement for a bunch of reasons including not liking being the center of attention, money, micromanaging family members, etc.

We are spending quiet a bit of money (for us) on this elopement, but when you consider that it will be wedding + honeymoon + vacation, the money seems more worth it. It would be cheaper if we lived there, but we are having to do the airfare/hotels/cabins/rental car thing.

Go for whatever makes BOTH of you happy. I’m getting super excited about ours!

Post # 12
Member
13943 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
coknights10 :  Then I say go for it!  Your wedding should be about what you two want!  (I only waited to say that to make sure you didn’t cause relatives to pay for plane tickets or whatever else when the wedding wouldn’t happen as planned!)

Post # 13
Member
3440 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

View original reply
Morgan Daguison :  We’re both super excited about the honeymoon! 😀 Love to travel but haven’t been to St Lucia before. As far as flowers I’m just over it. 😅 Whatever they have the day before in the florist dept of the local grocery store will work fine for our centerpieces. I also looked into bulk Costco flowers online and they were super pretty. If we needed a lot more I’d definitely have gone with this option. 

Post # 15
Member
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I hear you on so many levels. You can only plan something that suits you, this is the time to do it!! You don’t need to tell anyone the wedding is off, maybe explain to your family but when you send the invites out explain you were married/getting married in a private ceremony and your guests are invited to a wedding celebration. You could invite your family to the ceremony of course, but keep it simple and maybe have a lunch or dessert celebration. We did that for many reasons, and we loved it. Having our ceremony private and on a separate day, meant we could enjoy our actually wedding (I know it’s not for everyone) but we loved not having a big fuss or so much attention or so much pressure to get through a big wedding day. Then we when had our first celebration, it was such a blast. Pure party time. While some guests were bummed to miss out on the ceremony, the overall evening was total celebration (we didn’t do any traditions) and everyone had a fantastic time. It was still very wedding-y even though we married privately. 

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