Post # 1
About a year ago My fiance called off our wedding because we were having problems with and about his family. He immediately regretted it and we’ve been trying to work it out. But canceling our wedding broke my heart and I felt that he chose his family over a future wife. They’ve meddled in every relationship he’s had (he’s 37). They ignored our engagement for 9 months and after that tried to undermine me by telling my fiance lies about me, trying to tarnish my character. For example, calling him almost 10 months later to tell him I never thanked them for a Christmas gift. I most certainly thanked them, my fiance was sitting next to me when we video called his parents specifically to thank them. It’s so insulting to me that even though he was there with me, he still believes his parents’ lies over his own concrete experiences. I have dozens of examples. When his parents aren’t screaming at each other, they thrive on creating drama and conflict, they can never just be at peace. I see that he’s not equipped to deal with parents that have done this to him his entire life, he just freezes or defaults to just believing the nonsense. Before he ended our engagement, I would beg him to address certain things with his parents and he’d refuse, saying that it would only make things worse. He’s also told me that he can’t be with a woman that doesn’t like his parents, but his parents have interfered in his relationships in the past and I think he’s envisioning some unreal fantasy of a big happy family. I met his very first girlfriend from when he was a teenager and she told me point blank, “those people aren’t normal” and she shared some of her terrible experiences with me. The atmosphere with his family has become bad enough that I told him I’m not interested in having contact with them. I’ve lost respect and faith in him since not once stood up for me and then bailed on our wedding. Do I just walk away from all of this?
Post # 2
Mama’s boys are a dealbreaker for me. Your SO is 39, he’s not going to change.
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2018 - Banquet Hall/Conference Center
Marriage is not just about two people coming together, it’s also about two families coming together. It doesn’t sound like this is the type of family you want to or should join. Consider this a warning sign, especially since you verified that it wasn’t just you going crazy – other people have had this experience too many years ago.
Post # 5
It sounds like you might have to. I feel like you could accept the fact that his family is difficult/dramatic/crazy/etc IF he would at least stick up for you around them and be able to see where you’re coming from. The fact that he won’t even stand up for you is a huge problem. You deserve a man who always has your back!!
Post # 6
Yes. He’s never going to change. You don’t have to have perfect in-laws but you do have to be with someone who will make YOU the priority. That means standing up for you, trusting you, and not allowing himself to be manipulated by his family.
Post # 7
- Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle
Run like hell. He will NEVER put you before his family and that’s no way to be in a marriage. You can deal with awful in laws if your partner stands up for you but if he won’t, you’re in for a life of misery.
Post # 8
Oh, for gawd’s sake. He canceled your wedding to please mommy and daddy, yet you’re thinking this might be husband material?
Here’s some free Cher therapy for you: snap out of it!
Post # 10
His mother will always come before you. Don’t fool yourself into thinking this will change.
Run. Run like your tampon string is on fire
Post # 11
He ended your engagement and bailed on your wedding. He won’t be with someone who doesn’t like his parents, and you don’t like his parents. You’ve lost faith and respect for him. He’s a 37 year old mama’s boy who has not stood up for you even once. Why would you stay?
Post # 12
You RUN away from all of this. DWIL is a sight for people who have huge problems with inlaws. A huge percentage of these serious marital issues stem from husbands who come from dysfunctional parents and prioritize parents over spouse. Spend a day reading there and you will have no doubts that you need to run away.
Post # 13
Oh, how I wish this guy met his own Inlaws from hell…
Post # 14
why would you want to chose to spend your life with someone who doesn’t defend you when he knows the truth.
Post # 15
I think the time to walk away was a year ago… you want a husband that respects his parents but puts you first.