I realize this post is a year old, but i thought I would share my story as well, since I’ve only recently gotten the strength the begin revisiting weddingbee.
EX Fi and I started dating in high school, yep were high school sweethearts. We chose to go to college in the same city to be closer together. We were together for just over 5 years when he proposed to me this past August 2011. I was estatic. We set our date for May 19th 2012.
Things were going great! I bought a dress, paid the rental hall, his parents generously helped us with the caterer, my girls bought their dresses (two of which are his sisters) and then January 26th of this year his grandmother dies. I try to be as supportive as possible. I think everything is alright still, and book my hair appointment a couple weeks later.
On Feb 10th, he sits me down on our couch and tells me he doesn’t know if he can get married. I am devestated. After seeing our families and crying more tears than I thought a human could produce, we talk some more and decide to stay together, even engaged and just move the wedding date.
His reasoning is that he was stressed out with school, he was thinking about changing majors, and he wasn’t happy. I asked if this last part was because of me, and he said no, he was just feeling depressed lately.
So, I regrouped, and decided I could do this. I had waited this long, he still loved me and cared about me. I could wait another year or two.
In April he starts becoming more and more distant. He doesn’t come home til I go to bed, he doesn’t look happy to see me, he doesn’t answer the phone or pick up my calls. I start to get worried, so one day I take a glance at his phone. He’s been texting this one girl. Nothing serious or wrong, but flirty texts, when he hasn’t even been talking to be barely.
So I confronted him about it, and I basically made him cry. I told him I loved him and truely wanted to be with him, but I needed some more loving. I needed more than what he was giving me. He apologized and told me he would try harder. He told me I was loving, caring, loyal and he didn’t deserve me. I told him I could overlook a few months of a rough patch becuse I know how great our relationship could be.
From there, everything basically went down hill. I think the breaking point is when he told me he wasn’t going to live with me after our lease was up. Instead he was going to live with his friends. I still tried even so hard after that. I gave him space, I helped him move, and he helped me move into my new place.
One week after I moved, and the very day after we were supposed to get married, after twisting his arm to come over and visit me after nit seeing him for three days, he layed down on my bed with me. took a big sigh and said, ” I think we should break up.”
I knew it was coming, eventually. It didn’t make it any easier. The following were the worst two weeks of my life. I went to work, because if I hadn’t I probably would have done nothing but cry all day. I was heartbroken, and still am. He was my best friend and the love of my life. I truely 100% thought we would be growing old together.
I’ve tried to move on a bit. I met this really great guy shortly after. We”ve been “dating” for about 3 weeks. Everyday is still a struggle. I am still having a hard time not thinking about him or the life we could have had. As of right now, I don’t see us getting back together, which hurts even more. I was so adament at first, when he first dumped me, that I would wait for him to get his life together. He even came over for dinner, and everything was fine. We joked around like we always have, but he didn’t look at me the same way. I ended up drunk calling him that night and basically telling him I was a wreck and couldn’t live without him. He was nice enough and talked to me for twenty minutes, But after that I realized I couldn’t spend mmore time waiting around for something that was probably not going to happen. I love him so much still and if he suddenly called me up and said ” I love you and miss you and I’m so sorry, can we get back together?” I would probably say yes even though I know I should not. I love him that much and it’s killing me not to be with him.
Some days are much much better than others. It;s true that time helps heal, but it is a slow go. I found hanging out with my friends and other people as much as possible helped a lot. Also, there’s nothing like a cute boy wiho knows what he wants and treats you right to take your mind off of someone who wasn’t.
Stay strong ladies!!