I have been divorced, ended and engagement, and cancelled a wedding two months before it was supposed to take place, and now I’m getting married again in two days!
i loved my first husband and never had doubts going into the marriage. We were pretty happy for several years, but we had married young and we grew apart. The end was a long messy thing because even when you are amicable, ending a marriage is hard.
The next guy was totally different. He was emotionally and verbally abusive. We were together four years when he proposed. I said yes, but I don’t know why. He had stolen from me to gamble, and had gotten me in tens of thousands of credit card debt because of his gambling and lying. He lied about going back to school to me and his family, and lived off my income while picking fights with me every day. I had been thinking of ending it for years, but he was really good at manipulating me, and I couldn’t let go of the feeling I had early on in the relationship when things were so good. After we got engaged, I just couldn’t do any wedding planning. My mom would suggest a church, his parents wanted to schedule engagement photos, and I just couldn’t do it. Four months after the proposal, I ended it.
I still wonder why I stayed in such an awful situation for so long, but it really gave me compassion for others who have such a hard time ending relationships. It’s never easy, even when it is absolutely the right thing to do. Two months after ending the last relationship, I started dating my Fiance. It sounds fast, but like previous posters, I had been so emotionally done with the last guy that I was more than ready to move on. We got engaged a year later, and everything was just so right, like never before. We set the date for May of this year.
Then we cancelled the wedding we had been planning for eight months. Everything was booked and deposits were paid. We had even picked out our songs and had the diy centerpieces. It was a done deal, until his parents suddenly insisted we get married in the Catholic Church. Since they had agreed to have the wedding at their home, we couldn’t just tell them no. Well, we tried but that didn’t go over so well. Neither of us is religious and we didn’t want to lie in front of all our family and friends so we opted to cancel. It sucked and it was hard, but we were united and stronger than ever.
Now, we’te getting married in a very small ceremony on Saturday, and I couldn’t be happier. You never know what life will bring, but I do know that living up to other people’s expectations is no way to live. I have spent way too much time worrying about what other people think. Guess what? No one who matters in my life cares that I have cancelled a marriage, an engagement, and a wedding. I did what I needed to, and they love me just the same.