Post # 1
So i’m not sure what’s going on. I’m frustrated and stressed out and i feel like that shouldn’t the case with my bachelorette party. Originally i heard from my Maid/Matron of Honor that nobody was responding to her for information about my bachelorette party. Then she told me all the girls had excuses as to why they couldn’t come. So it was going to be me, her, and my mom… Kind of not a bachelorette party, more like a girls get together i can do any time. About 2 weeks ago i got text messages from 3 of my bridesmaids asking me when the bachelorette party is and if i knew what we were doing or where we were going. I was like well my Maid/Matron of Honor said she wrote you all in a group message. Nope. Turns out Maid/Matron of Honor has been ignoreing all my bridesmaids please for information. She wont give ME information either!! She said “dont worry about it” I tried explaining to her that i have so much to plan every weekend. my wedding is less than a month away and i’m finalizing everything with vendors. She told me nothing. Last night i got a screen shot from a friend of the conversation between her and my Maid/Matron of Honor in which my friend was begging for information about my party so that she could send a gift to the spa for me (apparenty i’m having a spa party… surprise ruined) and my Maid/Matron of Honor flat out told her there is no reason for her to know anything since she isn’t attneding the party. FYI my friend is in the military and lives accross the country so obviously she can’t come. My Maid/Matron of Honor proceded to tell everyone that if they want any information they can call her on the phone and when she has time she’ll call them all back and tell them about the party…. She’s actually making it really difficult for my girls to go!! One of them has 2 children and needs to be able to find a sitter but without an exact date and time she can’t do that, one of them is working a pretty demanding vet tech job that she’ll need to get coverage for but without a date she can’t do that. I found out this morning that my Maid/Matron of Honor told my mom that nobody has been responding to her or helping her with anything!! The two of them planned the party last night because my Maid/Matron of Honor lied about the other girls. This is causing my bridesmaids so much stress and me too. I’m requesting my bachelorette party be canceled because of this. My Maid/Matron of Honor never wanted to throw me a bachelorette party and by ignoring all the girls questions and please for information she’s making it so that by the time she tells the girls what’s going on it will be too late for them to be able to come. I can’t believe she lied to my mom about the girls not taking an interestand not responding. I’m frustrated beyong beliefe right now. This has completely ruined the entire notion of the party. I dont even want it anymore.
Post # 2
Wow your Maid/Matron of Honor is a bitchy narcicisstic control freak. I would tell your 3 BMs to take over and tell them what days work for you, and assure them something simple is great. If your Maid/Matron of Honor is lucky maybe they will tell her the details!
Post # 3
- Wedding: November 2017 - 1800s era Church
I would definitely talk to your Maid/Matron of Honor about it. If she doesn’t want to plan it, that’s fine. But making things harder on you and stressing you out is not worth it.
You could ask your other bridesmaids that since your Maid/Matron of Honor isn’t giving them information, if they can all communicate with each other then. if they would like to, they can plan something that works for everyone and you can just inform your Maid/Matron of Honor that’s what’s happening.
I’m sorry you’re having to go through that.
Post # 4
Agreed with the Previous post!
Post # 5
MrsBuesleBee: That’s the thing, i DO want something simple! i asked for either a trip to a vineyard or a day at the spa and if that was too tought i would totally be fine going to someones house and watching bridesmaids and having cheese and crackers… MyMOH has been amazing through all of this and now i find out all of this and that she’s lying. I wouldn’t have believed it if i didn’t get a screenshot of the entire conversation shse was having with the other briedsmaids… Sigh. I told my Bridesmaid or Best Man that i would like to forfeit my party and now they’re all freaking out that i can’t cancel it…. But without a date and without a time or a place even there isn’t much to cancel.
Post # 6
planningbee111211: Unfortunately she’s ignoring me…. I even wished her a happy birthday and she still hasn’t responded. Oh well.
Post # 7
I think maybe i’ll just go out with the girls the day before the wedding if they can make it. There is this great local little restaurant in the village that is really cheap with great food, maybe i’ll ask if we can all go there and just unwind before the wedding.
Post # 8
daniellemc: that sounds really nice and a sweet way to kick off a wedding weekend.
If you thinking about going to a vineyard or a spa day, that shouldn’t be too difficult to plan on short notice for an upcoming weekend? I guess brides aren’t suppose to plan their own, but you could just ask a bridesmaid or your mom to pick a place and send out a group email, pick a day that works for most people and book it. Done and done!
Post # 9
Skip the Maid/Matron of Honor entirely. Get your other girls to pick the date. When the Maid/Matron of Honor finally gets back to you, tell her you’re sorry but the schedule is already set and you hope she can join you. This makes no sense at all! And for what it’s worth, there’s no rule that a Maid/Matron of Honor has to do all the planning – for anything weddign related for the one I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man in, we all did the legwork together for her shower (no bachelorette at all). We’re all good friends or siblings, why not participate? I’m sure your bridesmaids can handle getting a date together and sending her that information.
Post # 10
Wow…you have to ditch her for now and plan your own bach party. Tell her shes welcome to to join, but no ones joining the one she planned.
Post # 11
WOW! I would probably drop this crazy person as my Maid/Matron of Honor. What is wrong with her?! I hope you’re able to plan something fun with your girls!
Post # 12
Your Maid/Matron of Honor needs to get “the boot” right up her azz. Call her now and say “bye Felicia. One and done, just like the baby wipes.
Post # 13
I would drop her as Maid/Matron of Honor and I would toss her out of the bridal party completely. What she is doing is just awful.
Troublemakers shouldn’t be in charge of important events, because this is the kind of stuff they do. She may have been a good friend before, and may still be one in many ways, but I don’t think this is something I would tolerate. She’s not just messing up your plans, she’s messing up the plans of the people who are trying to be there for you. That’s inexcusable.
Post # 14
If she responds to you the call her up on it. She sounds like an absolute control freak. Making people phone her?! Personally I prefer to do non-emergency contacts via text/email because then you can answer in your own time.
I know it isn’t au fait but I would – not necessarily organise it yourself but speak to your other bridesmaids and hopefully find a date that suits you guys. Then maybe reach out to other guests and see if they are free. Maybe one of your BMs can organise something simple for you. It doesn’t have to be much – dinner or something.
Oh, and if it happens to be the same night as the thing your Maid/Matron of Honor has planned…then I’d go to the other thing and say to Maid/Matron of Honor she can come if she likes.
Post # 15
She would no longer be my Maid/Matron of Honor