Cancelled

posted 6 months ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
2283 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2020

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denverbee :  Sorry, OP. You have every right to feel sad. Wishing you continuing health!

Post # 3
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

I know how you feel. My wedding is also due to be in June but will most likely have to be postponed to next year, and I’m crushed. 

The only thing helping me through it is knowing that eventually I’ll still be able to marry my FH, even if it’s a whole year later than I would have wanted. Why is it now or never for you? Are you worried you won’t get your money back? Regardless of what your contracts state, this is an exceptional situation and all vendors are being understanding. They’re humans at the end of the day, and want to make sure their businesses can bounce back as soon as possible when this is all over. Call your venue, they will be able to give you some good advice.

Personally, we’re waiting another month to make a final call on postponement as the situation seems to change every day. Consider holding off to get a better picture on how things are likely to look in June. Of course, it’s not looking hopeful, but take some time to compose yourself from the shock and sadness before taking any actions. 

Take care

Post # 4
Member
7323 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Why can’t you do it at a later date? Speaking as a wedding vendor I know myself and my fellow vendors have been nonstop talking/thinking about Covid-19 and how it’s affecting our couples and our businesses. I know all of us are committed to doing what we can to help our couples move their wedding to a later date if necessary – and applying their package payments to a new date. I know most of us are trying to bend in our policies to make sure we can help our couples. I personally have decided to hold off on continuing to book for 2021 (thus costing me money and my livelihood!!!) to make sure I can accommodate couples who need to postpone a year rather than just a few months.

My first wedding of the season isn’t until late May, and I’m actually having a {virtual} meeting wtih my bride this afternoon. After that I don’t ramp up until June and currently I’m just telling all my couples to hang tight and let’s just see where things stand in a few weeks. 

I know it’s devastating, for sure. We want to make this whole thing easy as can for our clients. That being said even though this situation is just so random and crazy, being in a hurricane area we are no strangers to cancellations/postponments so in all honesty we definitely are approaching it from a more calm perspective simply because, sadly, we’re sort of used to it. 

Post # 5
Member
810 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2020

My wedding might be cancelled. We’re still getting married regardless and we’ll have our wedding later if need be. I am wearing my white dress at some point even if I have to wait a year. 

Post # 6
Member
1621 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - California

You have every right to be upset and disappointed. I think we’re all kind of in shock and reeling from the massive disruption that Coronavirus is causing in our lives. I’m so sorry. 

Post # 7
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2020

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denverbee :  I’m with you. We canceled our bachelor and bachelorette parties in New Orleans. No wedding shower. Our date is set for May 1st. We haven’t canceled but know it’s a real possibility. For some reason, I remain optimistic. But I’m prepared to accept reality when the time comes. Where are you located? I’m  always interested to see how brides in other parts of the country/world are doing. At the end of the day, we are blessed. It will all be ok and you’ll have your celebration one way or another! I think we will see a popular trend in intimate/civil ceremonies! Lol

Post # 8
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

I feel for you bee! We’re also 90% that we have to cancel our wedding this year. I second other bees though- have you checked with your vendors about your options? We’ve had a lot of amazing responses from vendors though we didn’t expect it. Perhaps you could get back at least some of your money and use it to fund a postponed wedding?

Post # 9
Member
1966 posts
Buzzing bee

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denverbee :  

Bee, it sounds from your post that you are worn out from personal hardship that preceded this pandemic.  I don’t know what you have experienced, but I do know what it feels like to be exhausted from recurring hardship in life.  Right now, my life is blessed but not perfect.  I’m grateful for what I have–primarily my husband and my three children.  There have been times off and on, however, that a feeling has snuck in that trials and things going wrong are my lot in life.  After a history of trials, we can begin to subconsciously question if it’s because we deserve the hardship, as if we are punished for wrongdoing. I don’t follow a belief of that type of karma.  I also think that our feeling subconsciously that trials follow us wherever we go because we are being punished is a leftover of childhood, when it is a pattern that disobedience results in punishment.  I don’t want to get too esoteric here, I’m just pointing out the natural source of that thought pattern as I think it is the key to shutting it down.

I’ve had a life that, were I to describe it in detail, event by event, you would think I was making it up it is just all so much.  I will say that the difficult things I have experienced have now turned around to a blessing in some ways.  I have compassion, empathy, and perspective that I turn to in order to offer support to those around me who are going through their own trials.  I’m of the belief that the purpose of life is to learn and grow.  A lot of learning and growing happens during the rough times.  During the good times, we reflect and catch our breath.

You deserved to have a wedding, a beautiful one, but a pandemic crapped all over your plans.  Take comfort in knowing you’re not the only one.  Fate has not singled you out.  And seeing that it’s happening to so many others, and much worse things are happening to others, doesn’t negate the right of each person to feel the sorrow of what they’ve lost.  Allowing ourselves to feel it is the first step to moving past it.  Feeling it is the first step to healing it, you might say.

Take this one day at a time.  You may find a way when this is over to have a lovely wedding celebration and the opportunity to wear your beautiful dress.  I think there may be places like community centers and churches that will try to pitch in by hosting rescheduled weddings at minimal cost.  And you may find that you can have a beautiful day with fewer bells and whistles and a shorter guest list when the opportunity arises if finances at that time will just not allow for all the extras.  Keep an open mind and try to stay optimistic.

I’m sorry about the cancellation.  Stay safe.  I hope you get through this global trial with minimal impact.  I wish that could be the case for everyone.  Take care.

Post # 11
Member
435 posts
Helper bee

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denverbee :  in Denver too. It is pretty crazy out here. No one is on the streets and everything is closed. The governor said I’m out of work for the next couple of months which is unfortunate especially while in the middle of planning for a wedding. I still don’t have my bridesmaids dresses and all the boutiques are closed and my wedding is in September. Coronavirus may still be an issue then and idk if my venue is going to give me a refund or help me with another date being that their contract explicitly says they won’t. Maybe other bees are right and they will be accommodating because this is a pandemic and not a cancellation on my part. I just got my save-the-dates and invitations and idk if I can send them out now with there being a ban of gatherings of more than 10. I am trying to stay optimistic and roll as gracefully as I can with the punches. At this point it’s the only thing I can do. Try not to get too disappointed though. Stress gives you wrinkles 😉 

Post # 12
Member
259 posts
Helper bee

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denverbee :  I just wanted to reach out and let you know that I deeply sympathize and relate to how you are feeling. I am one of those folks who came from crap and therefore all I expect is crap. I have massive anxiety about positive things in my life – I start planning them while simultaneously thinking they will fail because that’s “just how my life is and how it goes.” It’s seriously like I’m cursed sometimes. I’ve felt that way about my wedding since I started planning last January, and now that it’s coming in July I feel like I’m staring down the barrel of all my worst anxieties actually coming true. Honestly, it makes me feel like an unworthy, lousy piece of shit who did something somehow to deserve the past and present. I know that’s a dark thing to say, but much like you I’ve got nothing positive for either of us. But, I’m praying for us both and when I sneak into my closed church to light my candle this week I’ll be thinking of you, too. 

Post # 13
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2021 - Jamaica

I totally understand your sadness and you have every right. I’m sad too because my man took me to a jeweler to have a ring created, and booked an elaborate trip for us to Maui, at which time he was going to propose. That’s scheduled for May 11th, and now I’m 99% sure the trip will end up cancelled. 🙁 

 

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