(Closed) Cancelling it all…. need advice

posted 6 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 4
Member
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Eloping sounds like it will be way less stressful.  I think you made an excellent choice. I am sorry you are dealing with so much additional stress right now.

Post # 5
Member
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

@BeckyS0:  Elope & then honeymoon ALONE (well you & your DH). Can you do an at home reception where your family is? And another where his family is? My friend did this, he got married overseas a few months ago & is having a wedding reception at home this month.

Post # 6
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@BeckyS0:  Sorry about your family situations! But I like your idea to get married on your honeymoon just the two of you. I would also feel strange if only FI’s family was able to come to our destination wedding so I don’t blame you for that. I’ve never heard of a honeymoon being for family to hangout anyway…it defeats the purpose! You should stress that if he keeps bringing it up, but maybe that’s his way of saying he really wants his family there. If it’s that important to him maybe there’s some middle ground like getting married in a small ceremony in the courthouse or something, and then jetting off.

Post # 8
Member
8041 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@BeckyS0:  You’re making the right decision.

No advice per se, just hang in there… things will get better!

$12K is definitely better spent on a house/car than a one day event IMO.

Post # 9
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

We’re eloping.  We’ve been together for 8 years and the thought of a big wedding never occured to us.  We were both in total agreement about making the entire 7 day trip, all about us.  No guests.  Not even our kids.  Just us.    And NOBODY knows that we’re going to do it either.   Our budget is only 4k, but omg, what a nice time we’re going to have.  Planning it all has been fun.  I thought about doing an elopement package, but to be honest with you….I’ve found that they really aren’t necessary.   There are so many beautiful places that a short ceremony can be held, either at a small fee or no fee at all.   And hotel rooms, very nice hotel rooms, can be found at a much lower rate on priceline, etc.  

Sorry for all of the problems that have occured.  Life has a way of doing that….

Post # 10
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Sorry it’s all being so difficult for you guys =(

 

Really though, eloping seems kind of pointless in your situation if you’re still planning on having a reception when you get back home. You’ll still be dealing with all of the issues you already have – your mom and sister’s financial issues, the step-kids wanting their way paid for them, your grandparents being not there or mentally checked out. And I’d put your foot down about having family there for the elopement when it clearly means that only your FI’s family can come – you lose your honeymoon and it’s not fair to you. It sounds like a true elopment would be the easiest thing.

Post # 11
Member
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

@BeckyS0:  I read your whole post, don’t know how I missed the part where you were going to have a GA celebration lol! To me, that sounds perfect… maybe you can wear your wedding dress to the GA celebration/reception! My wedding was $1k total… we got a house the month before our wedding so we put all our money there, its where we live vs spending a lot more for 1 day. Its what worked best for Darling Husband & I so that’s what we did :).

Post # 14
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

lol tell your fiance it’s not eloping if you invite people! That’s called a destination wedding! And yes it IS majorly unfair if his family would be able to afford to come but yours wouldn’t, unless you paid for yours, and then his family will feel it’s unfair you paid for your family but not his, so you’d have to pay for all of them, and then you’re spending a ton of money anyway. I went through this whole process with my fiance – I wanted to elope, he wanted to elope but invite his friends (my friends would not have been able to afford it, as they are just out of college/grad school/in grad school, whereas his are 30-45). We compromised by having a big wedding in our city, lol.

Post # 15
Member
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Yahh… relatives are NOT fun on honeymoons and I haven’t heard a single story of a person who regretted going with only their SO. 

 

^^ Agree with above poster. It’s a destination wedding if you invite folks and I agree that it’s unfair if only one person’s family can make it. It also seems like “two weddings”, one for one side of the family and one for the other, which can make people (including you) unhappy. I like your idea of eloping and maybe having a “wedding after party” or “reception” that everyone is invited to. 

I STRONGLY recommend not having any family for the honeymoon, even if you do want to invite people to the wedding…

Post # 16
Member
1181 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think it should be just the two of you.

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