- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
Well Bees, I think we have decided to cancel our wedding & elope instead. When we first set the date & started planning everything was awesome. Our families were excited for us, excited to travel out to our new home for the first time. BUt since then, life happened. My gradfather was diagnosed with chronic leukemia 2 years ago & while it’s not deadly he took the diagnosis really hard. My grandmother is bi-polar and not a strong woman so she just slipped deeper into depression which set him off. He started using meth & drinking heavily. Destroyed their entire home, many of my grandmothers sentimental items are missing, she had to take him off her bank accounts, even moved in with my Mom for the past 2 months. Well, he just got arrested for a DUI to top it all off. So needless to say he wouldn’t be able to be there for me, and because he wouldn’t be there really neither would my grandmother mentally…. I can just feel this huge ugly cloud hanging over it all if he weren’t there & I don’t want that on my wedding day.
my sister in college, my Maid/Matron of Honor, just broke up with her live-in bf of the past 5+ years. So she is looking for a new place, roomie, furniture, oh and a car. Which my mom is helping with. on top of it all my mom just told me she was going to have to borrow money just to be able to make it out to the wedding. =( That’s not okay at all!
my fiance’s mom put herself in a sucky position and is stressing both herself & us out about it. She wanted us to invite her step-kids (re-married maybe 5 years ago, they’re both in their 30’s), I tried to explain that we weren’t inviting them because I knew they would cause alll kinds of drama (they think she married their dad for $) and that they would want her to pay for them. She insisted it wouldn’t be that way, and guess what! They want her to pay for their flights, lodging, food, transportation & to schedule it all around what fits them best! =( Poor woman, she was trying to be nice & reconcile it all but I knew this is what would happen.
On top of it all I just keep thinking that there are much more impactful ways we could use the $12G budget we have rather than a single day… Like a house or a second car. We planned to originally buy a home first, then get married but after my grandfather’s diagnosis my Dad had a serious heart attack (thankfully his wife caught it super early & he is doing amazing!) so we put a house on the back burner & moved up the wedding. Thankfully most of our deposits are refundalbe since it’s so early so w’re out less than 1G by cancelling.
Now we think we are just going to elope on our honeymoon & fly back through GA to throw a celebration for the friends & family there. However, my fiance thinks this means we should just invite whomever can make it to our honeymoon/elopment. Problem is it would just be his family. My family cannot afford to go to an al-inclusve in mexico, they don’t even have passports! I feel like it would be drastically unfair & leave them feeling gyped & poor that his family was there for the ceremony but they weren’t. Not to mention that if my family can’t make it I don’t want anyone there…
He thinks it would be fun to hang out with everyone in a tropical locale- more fun than just the two of us. I keep triyng to explain to him that having his family on the honeymoon means little to no sexy time. No makin out in the beach palapa’s, no sneaking off our tours to find somewhere hidden to get busy. NOt gonna happen with family around! And ya, it is just the two of us all the time but we’ve never been on a real vacation either. I don’t want to have to compare schedules & go on this outing because so-and-so is going. I want to be able to do our own thing without having to check in or say anythign to anyone. I just don’t see it feeling like a lovey-dovey wanna jump your bones honeymoon with his family there! I’m afraid it’ll feel more like a vacation/reunion that happens to also be a wedding =(
Any suggestions or thoughts would be appreciated!