(Closed) Cancelling it all…. need advice

posted 7 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 17
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee

Well if your side can’t be there, it may feel off that his family is there. At the end of the day do what feels right. Sorry everything is so stressful.

Post # 18
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Oh my GOODNESS!  I cannot believe so much has happened to you in such a short time.  I’m so sorry!  I think that eloping would be a great idea.  Less expensive, less stressful, less worries.  Good luck!

Post # 19
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

i’m so sorry for all the family circumstances. i think maybe eloping may be good. to me the ceremony is important to have those in our life we cherish most to cherish that moment with us. so if those ppl cant make it, there may not be a point to having that type of ceremony.

 

Gl

Post # 20
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I eloped and wouldn’t have it any other way.  We went to Belize and while my parents and hubby’s mom joined, I see that’s not an option for you.  We were able to spend the money on an amazing adventure.  

And now we are planning for a reception at our house for about 80 people.  We are having a really, really nice catered cocktail garden party with great food and booze, which let’s get real, is all many people come to a wedding for anyways.  To me a wedding and a reception are two different things. I’ve always thought a wedding was a private and intmate ceremony, not something that should incude your co-workers or relatives you’re not really talking to. Receptions is a celebration

Post # 21
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2004

Sorry to hear…

I got married by myself with my husband because my dad passed away six months earlier and my mom and brother were not in the country…so, I just went for it…got married and called my mom to let her know.  She wasn’t sad, and almost 10 years later, she hasn’t ever held it against me or anything. I am very close to them but it was ultimately my future, and I just went for it…

My husband’s mom is not close to him and he doesn’t know his father and step-siblings…so, we just left everyone out.  

You have to move on from your family drama and do what’s best for you and your future husband…

I know it’s difficult but it might be what’s best for you two. 

 

Good luck!! and if you can, try to stay away from the drama.  That will only bring stress to your relationship.  :O)

Post # 22
Member
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I say elope too, but tell you parents just before and explain why (your post is a good summary).   Be sure to stress that this was your and FI’s decision and you do not feel deprived, and they should not blame themselves. $12k is a down payment on a house and so hard to save up these days.

 

As for your Fiance.  Bring his family to the honeymoon?  I’d talk with him some more about what’s really going on there, especially if you’ve never vacationed alone together before.  There will be other times to go on vacation with his relatives;  it doesn’t have to be the honeymoon.

Post # 23
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Congratulations on your elopement!

I think you have to say all this emphatically to your Fiance. If one family cannot make it it is thoroughly unfair to invite them, knowing the strain it would cause to them knowing that a thing like money separates them from their daughter – especially knowing your in laws could make it would be especially painful.

I had a similar problem with mine, as my family wanted to attend our elopement and even offered to pay for my FI’s parents to join us, but I knew that a. that wouldn’t work out because it would insult their dignity, and b. we did not want our honeymoon to be absorbed into a family holiday. stress to yuor fiance that this is one of the few times that is especially for YOU TWO. you’ll never get a honeymoon again, and you dont want to be making others happy for the whole time. be selfish just this once, you deserve it!

Post # 24
Member
2091 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

This is a terrible situation. I wish you and your family the best. I agree with you that it is unfair that your family would not attend. I also think that it would not be a romantic getaway for 2 with his family around. The whole point of eloping is going off alone! Maybe you guys could get the wedding on video for all the family. If he wants to have a vacation with the family, it can be planned another time…

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