(Closed) Cancelling my wedding

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@cxthewedding:  Just be honest and send out an evite that explains you and your fiance’s change of plans. Just inform the guest that you have decided to downsize with a very intimate ceremony. Maybe you two can have some kind of get together for after your wedding that the individuals who will not attend the small ceremony can come to. 

Post # 4
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013 - rolling hills of southern italy

If it is going to be even sooner, you could send out something cute that says “we just couldn’t wait to marry each other! We decided to have a private ceremony Sooner than anticipated wirh just our parents! we send our love from afar, and beg you forgive our impatience!”

Post # 5
7219 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@Quickiebee:  I like that wording! I feel like when I see “cancel” I assume it’s BAD, but you make it sound happy & exciting. 

Post # 6
3369 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

We did the same thing and already sent out our save the dates as well. We’re actually eloping on May 3rd and will be sending announcements which works out perfectly with timing. Because now they’ll get elopement announcements versus wedding invitations. 








I would send out an email, or even just personally call the people you are going to invite and let them know things are being changed. Then for the other people, send out an announcement of some kinds in the mail. The word cancel doesn’t sound happy, it sounds like you guys have broken up. I would say something like “We have changed our wedding plans and will now be having an intimate wedding with immediate family”



Post # 8
1849 posts
Buzzing bee

This would be the proper wording if your parents were hosting the wedding:

Mr. and Mrs. John Doe
announce that the marriage of 
their daughter
Jane Marie
Tom Smith
will not take place

You can replace your parents name with yours and FI’s.  Sending people an email or FB or evite kind of thing to let them know the wedding has been scaled down and they didn’t make the cut isn’t polite or gracious.

Post # 10
680 posts
Busy bee

Well, since you haven’t sent out formal invitations yet you don’t necessarily have to send out a cancelation right? If it’s not cancelled then it’s not. I think I would probably call ppl up actually and let them know that you are scaling back your wedding quite a bit and will only be inviting immediate family. Don’t do anything on FB. This is a wedding, not a BBQ.

Post # 11
1849 posts
Buzzing bee

Well, to do it by the etiquette book you would reschedule your wedding and invite less people.  There just isn’t a gracious way to tell people you have to scale back and didn’t make the cut.

Post # 13
859 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018


I would just call everyone and explian that you two are still getting married but you’ve decided to have a much smaller wedding.  You should also explain that if they haven’t gotten the save the dates that they will and to just ignore it.  You should also apologize about the mistake.

Post # 14
680 posts
Busy bee

@cxthewedding:  I would just send out a message through the event stating that you’ve changed your plans for the wedding day and will be scaling it down to include immediate family only. I’d post it on the event page too, then in about a week after everyone has had time to get the message, I’d delete the event. 

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