Post # 1
Some of you may have seen my last post about all the drama and issues revolving around my wedding. I spent most of yesterday in tears because of all the stress. So Fiance and i decided to call off the wedding and just have a tiny ceremony with our immediate family. The problem is we have already sent out our invites. I know that this is not proper etiquette, but I need some help with how to tell the 100+ people that received an invite. We were thinking a letter because there is no way we could call EVERY single person. I know that some of our family will be upset about this but we decided that we don’t want to start our marriage off with a bunch of stress. We want to focus on us and what we need/want and stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. Soo can anyone help me with how to word the letter or maybe have a better way of telling everyone?
Post # 3
I haven’t seen any of your other posts but good for you for focusing on your priorities =) I think your guests do deserve a courtesy of a phone call. Plus sometimes written word can get misconstrued. A phone call will help alleviate any misunderstandings. Maybe you can enlist your families to help make the phone calls?
Post # 4
Changing one’s mind in regard to HOW or WHEN the Wedding takes place is not the same as Breaking an Engagement… so there are no hard and fast rules in regards to etiquette on how to handle this aspect (truly, it is your life, you are ALLOWED to make such decisions, changes just as you can for any other party / event you may host in life… explanation or not is up to you)
As per Peggy Post *Weddings Etiquette*…
When an Engagement is broken, then there is a lot more complex things that must take place… returning the ring, returning any gifts, telling friends & family etc… even possibly notifying the newspapers if one has had a previously printed Wedding Announcement.
So, based on that info, your only requirement is to figure out HOW you want to tell friends & family of the change of plans… and IF you wish to supply an explanation.
You could call folks, or have your Parents make the calls… or you could drop everyone a note if there is a good amount of lead time.
As to WHY… well quite frankly I’d say something along the lines of… (sample modified from Peggy Post’s suggestion for a Broken Engagement)
I am sorry to have to tell you that Ed and I have decided to cancel our originally planned wedding ceremony for __(date)__ … the stress has been effecting our health, and so we’ve opted instead for a ___(private courthouse ceremony / an intimate family celebration / elopment) ___ . Thank you for your understanding,
PS… After the explanation line (private courthouse ceremony / an intimate family celebration / elopement) you can include any other details that are pertinent spectifc TO THE INVITEE … another words if you are having a Belated Reception. But if the info isn’t known, or not really relative to the Guest, then no explanation is needed at the time of the note (but you could always say something like… a Back-Home Reception is in the works, details to follow… etc)
Hope this helps,
Post # 5
A form letter for you…feel free to reword anything, just an idea.
We regret to inform you that due to a multitude of unfortuneate factors we are going to cancel our (date) wedding. Please be advised that We are both in good physical health and our relationship is not in jepoardy. We look forward to spending quality one on one time with you in the near future and hope our letter reaches you in good health. Thank you for your time and consideration in this matter.
The so and sos.
Simple and to the point? and no unessecary details.
Post # 6
@HisLittleRed: I like this. I think people could get the wrong idea if the new wedding plans come into the explaination. Simply explaining that plans have changed and that it does not have to do with serious health or a broken engagement, is all they need to know.
OP could send wedding/elopement annoucments afterwar their small ceremony.
Post # 7
Thanks! I think I will combine those 2 to come up with something.