(Closed) Cancelling the wedding….

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 31
Member
6830 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

I’m sorry for all the struggles you guys are going through right now. I’m sure it’s incredibly stressful and upsetting. I’m glad the Bees here have been able to help! 

I just wanted to say that you can still have your dream wedding AND still get married now at the courthouse. I have friends that didn’t have the money to have the wedding they wanted to right away, but they just wanted to be married. So they eloped at the courthouse. A year and a half later they had a beautiful ceremony and reception with all their friends and family and it was lovely. So that’s always an option. I know if it were me and I found out my fiance and I had to wait several years to pay for the wedding we wanted, I wouldn’t be able to wait. We would have gone to the courthouse and planned an actual wedding celebration later on. 

Just food for thought. You two will do what is best for you. Good luck!

Post # 33
Member
2430 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

We were lucky, at the time DH’s parents owned their big house, which his mom offered to have the wedding there. We jumped at it. I don’t know how much $$ my mom gave his mom, maybe $500, and we got a lot of the stuff, like the cake, the soft drinks, flowers.

His sister made stuffed shells which everyone loved, and we had a deli tray. About 50 guests. It was a Saturday afternoon.  We, and every guest were happy. I know most brides would rather be shot at sunrise than have this as their wedding but it was wonderful, for us.

Post # 34
Member
6830 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

txprincess11 :  Exactly! Then it doesn’t feel like you’re “settling” either because you still get to have your big day. Just tell your Fiance that the most important thing is you are in this together. 

Post # 36
Member
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

If I were in your shoes, I’d have a courthouse wedding with a little reception afterwards then have the cermony you want when you had the money. No need to put your life on hold just for some money!!

good luck to you and your fiancé. I hope you are able to make your wedding dreams come true!!

Post # 37
Member
98 posts
Worker bee

So sorry to hear of all the financial struggles.

Courthouse weddings can be really nice, maybe combine it with a dinner afterwards or a backyard bbq. And you can always add your personal touches. Hire a cheap photographer to snap the day. And as bees always say here, it’s not about the wedding, it’s about the marriage. And, there’s nothing stopping you from throwing a big party (vow renewal?) after when you’re more financial stable.

Good luck wtih everything. No matter what you choose and how you choose to get married, remember that as long as you think it’s special for ou, it will be special

Post # 38
Member
3858 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2007 - City, State

txprincess11 :  You don’t have to do a courthouse to go cheaper. We married on a beach in NJ and just had a few trays of food from our local pizzeria and sheet cake at home. Spent about $1,000 in total for everything. Maybe a small wedding at a beach, gazebo, woods or anywhere pretty near you and some food at home? 

Post # 39
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Holly Hedge Estate

mrshomemaker :  nice inspo pics ! 🙂 OP- I think courthouse weddings, although not what some people originally plan for, can be quite romantic actually. It becomes more about the union of you both and the life and love you will share together, and less about flowers and favors and all those other things we get carried away with.  

Post # 40
Member
1817 posts
Buzzing bee

txprincess11 :  Why do you have a good friend take the test to officate your wedding. Go somewhere fun (I dont know where you live so I can’t really help out with that) and just do it all for free. The day is about you two. If you want people there let them know what you two are doing and if they want to come watch then let them. GREAT example, have you ever seen The Vow? Do something like that. We had a wedding and spent more than we wanted to and honestly, from the moment we started the planning until now (months after the wedding) I still wish we did something like that. You dont have the stress or the drama. It’s about you two and you aren’t going broke while doing it. 

Post # 41
Member
2005 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

You know, I wouldn’t be upset if I was invited to a backyard wedding that told me to bring a dessert or side. Make it a pot luck? That would be so much fun. 

Infact, I went to one where every one is the family did do that. It was amazing. I tried so many amazing desserts I’d never heard of. And such a laid back wedding. 

Post # 42
Member
767 posts
Busy bee

I see no need to go into big time debt for a wedding. My favorites were the ones that were very in expensive I’m sure.

granted, my wedding was some time ago, but we shocked a lot of people by how we did things. A lot of what we did was considered shocking back then, normal now. We had a wonderful wedding, we did it for us, not to impress anyone. I still have people telling me how much fun it was, and 2 couples came to us after the wedding asking if we would mind of they had a wedding just like ours. My boss got married very soon after I did, and she used my photographer, my cake maker and almost got married at the same location but it wasn’t available for her date.

As far as I’m concened, just find a pretty dress you love and get married in your parents living room if you like. Nothing wrong with that at all. We did have some comments from certain people that we were ‘doing things wrong’ but those people went into hock fo their weddings are really regret it now. Particularly after we were able to buy a house and our frugal lifestyle has meant a lot less stress. 🙂

it will be ok- more and more people are having small intimate weddings and seem all the more happy for it. 🙂

Post # 43
Member
8453 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

txprincess11 :  

I am so glad it is not a source of pain to you both . But, if it were me, there is no way I would want to wait til 2018! just to have a fancy reception in  an expensive venue. I don’t think all the suggestions the bees have  made  are in any way ‘settling’, just being  grown up .

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