Cancelling wedding?

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
Post # 16
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Elope! This is already turning into a bad memory/experience. Now is your chance! Elope and take beautiful pictures!

Post # 17
Member
2427 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

Just elope. That will make you the happiest. Give yourself permission not to go on a guilt trip over one person, even if it is a parent. You have your own kid. When you become a mom, all that is N/A.

If I got upset over every family member who talked shit, I would be a blubbering mess. With an unflattering haircut.

Post # 18
Member
2099 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

You have already lost money and gotten yourself into bad situations because of how others feel you should do things. There is no one, including your parents, who can “allow” or not allow you to conduct your life as you see fit now that you are an adult and getting married. If they choose to guilt you or throw a fit, that has nothing to do with you, it’s their reaction and something you can’t control. Just be kind and firm.

“Thanks for your suggestings, mom. We’ve thought about it and we’re eloping.”

“I won’t allow it!”

“We’d love for you to be there. Fiance and I will let you know the details when we have them.”

“I’ll never forgive you.”

“Sorry you feel that way. How was Aunt Mary’s surgery?”

Post # 19
Member
636 posts
Busy bee

Elope! Too bad if sw of your family members get butthurt about not watching it happen or getting a party out of it. You and Fiance are the ones getting married and it sounds like you’ve already been through a lot of stress trying to get a big wedding together. I’d just run off and be romantic and start your marriage the way you want to! If a family member is going to hold a grudge because you chose to start your married life a certain way then maybe they’re not worth it anyway. Chances are they’ll come around as that’s a petty reason to stay mad at someone. 

ETA: I’d not worry about cancelling the save the dates, just go elope and then send them a “we eloped!” announcement. Now they know! *Should add that I mean if you elope right away and send them out as fast as you would cancel them. Otherwise with people booking travel you might just have to cancel first if you want to wait awhile on the eloping. 

Post # 20
Member
31 posts
Newbee

Elope and invite your immediate families only so it’s clear cut. Parents and siblings + sibling’s families. 

Post # 21
Member
21 posts
Newbee

It sounds a bit as if you’ve been overwhelmed for some time. You need to do what you want to do but maybe find a compromise. There are a lot of places like hotels or small chapels, etc that you can get an elope package inexpensively and have 50 or 100 with you. Thirty is a good number even. They do all the work and take it off your hands completely. The costs are still pretty reasonable.

I know you want to just get the hassle off of you but close family and friends are important too. This kind of thing is something you don’t want to have regrets from later either. And people closest to you are important. If there are people you don’t want there then you just need to be firm in stating you’ve decided to keep it small and that’s that. Do exactly what you want in your heart for your wedding but don’t forget to include those closest to you in some small way. 

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