Post # 1
Fi and I have a child together, he is 7. We want to include him in our ceremony somehow as he’s very excited about the wedding, and we want him to feel special too.
I thought a unity candle ceremony would be nice (something quick but symbolic and sweet), but I can’t find any examples of a candle ceremony that involves a child that belongs to the bride and groom. Meaning, not a step child/child from a previous relationship. Hes already our child, so we aren’t joining our lives together, our lives are already together..
Im a bit lost on this, does anyone have any suggestions?
Post # 3
@FortiesFlare: how about unity sand instead? you each can choose a color and than are all combined into one jar? or try making your own unity candle that way you can personalize it and have 3 of the skinnnier candles instead of only 2?
Post # 4
Yes, I like either of those two options, but what I’m wondering about is the wording, you know?
Like we can’t say we are all joining as one, we already ARE one.. We’ve been living together as a family unit since the begining. So I don’t know what to say that isn’t “we are joining these people together as one family unit” which is what is typically said with these ceremonies.
Im open to all suggestionsk any other ideas besides candle/sand maybe?
Post # 5
Could he be your husbands ‘little’ best man? I went to a wedding recently and they were in the same position and the groom had his son standing right next to him. He had the rings and got to play a part in the ceremony.
If you really want some kind of act then I think the sand is a great option.
Post # 6
This is what im doin in place of unity candle/sand ceremony. Idk if it would help you at all, but just an idea!
Post # 7
@Jen51287: Hmmmm, I kind of love this. I think we could adapt it to include a note from our son for us to read later. Also… We could make one compartment for his wedding day (in the very distant future). This is interesting, thanks for this.
Post # 8
@Birdee106: Thanks for the suggestion! He is our ring bearer, but basically will be acting as the jr. Best man. He will be with his daddy all day helping out and just hanging out. I’m getting weepy just thinking about it!! Lol.. I feel so lucky that he gets to be involved in all this.
Post # 11
What about having him do the role that the moms typically have of lighting the 2 family candles?
Post # 12
@FortiesFlare: In terms of the wording, what about something along the lines of “formalising/celebrating what we’ve always known in our hearts, our union as a family”?
Post # 13
Well, he is already united to each of you. Now he will be present when the officiant legally unites you and your Fiance.
Perhaps there is some role he could play in “assisting” the officiant — helping to unite his parents?
Officiant: “Do you, __________________ take ______________ to be your …”
Son: “Do you, Daddy, take Mommy … “
And then do the same for Mommy taking Daddy?
Just a thought. 🙂
Post # 14
I agree with PPs. On the latest episode of Teen mom2 (yeah I know, guilty pleasue, shoot me) Leah got married and I thought it was the sweetest thing ever how they did the sand ceremony and what the officiant said to go along with it. I think you watch the clip somewhere in thie episode:
Post # 15
I wanted to do something similar but dd is too young (4yrs) for candle ceremony, didn’t want to do sand & she’s the fg so can’t be moh. Our officiant actually had the idea of him addressing her, something along the lines of “A lot of promises have been made between your mommy & daddy, these promises are also to you to be a loving family etc..”. I forget the exact wording but you get it, we are presenting her with a gift during this. We aren’t telling our parents, I know my dads going to cry. He’s a sap when it comes to her lol <3 Since your son is older it might be cool to have him read something.