(Closed) Cannot decide on married name–getting marriage license TOMORROW

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 16
Member
6377 posts
Bee Keeper

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Bleann23 :  The license itself will have your maiden name on it first.  The certificate will have your married name.  I signed my marriage certificate with my married name and chose to drop my maiden name completely.

Post # 17
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2017

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Bleann23 :  I was told that the legal name changing would be something I’d do after getting married at the Social Security office, but some states may do it differently. 

As for the last names, I’m also keeping my maiden name as a second middle name, and my fiance will adopt my maiden name as a second middle name. It’s what my parents did, and I like it. I feel like it honors my heritage and allows us to truly combine families, instead of me just joining his, as well as allowing me to only have one last name and share that last name with my husband, which is important to me. With my parents, it’s been perfectly fine for them. The only thing is that it just means you’ll have one more middle name to write out when signing legal documents that require your full name. Fortunately many things only require your middle initials though. My parents believe that it was a choice that was worth it, and I think it will too. I’d say to keep your maiden name as a middle name! 

Post # 18
Member
10480 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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jasc8790 :  This is how it is where i’m from too. They told me to put my maiden name on our marriage license.

In anycase, you don’t even seem to like your last name so just drop it.

Post # 19
Member
4021 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

As others have said, your maiden name goes on the marriage license. You technically can’t sign with the new name until you’ve gone through Social Security and changed it there legally. You have time to make a decision. 

Post # 21
Member
1565 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Edited because I was wrong and gave inaccurate information. Sorry!

Post # 22
Member
422 posts
Helper bee

I have two middle names and I’m not married… was just named that way.

Post # 23
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I’m in California and I have the same understanding. You decide on your name change options when you get the License. This varies from state to state  

When applying for a Californian marriage license you must state your preferred <strong style=”color: #333333; font-family: Lato, Helvetica, sans-serif, serif; font-size: 16px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;”>married name on the license at the time of filing. If you had not indicated a change of name on your marriage license, you may still be able to change names, but may experience some difficulties…. The Californian Name Change Equality Act provides a range of name change options to both spouses on marriage. To avoid issues with an unusual married name change being accepted by organizations, your preferred married name must be included on your marriage license when applying. This name is printed on your marriage certificate, which you can order once married. Your certificate should be shown wherever proof of your new name is required. Once you have successfully applied for your marriage license it is not possible to request any changes without a court-ordered name change.” https://www.easynamechange.com/California/Marriage-Name-Change/

Back to OP original question: most women I know went with two middle names. I haven’t really heard any of them complain of a downside. 

Post # 24
Member
1963 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Have two middle names. It seems like yout last name does mean something to you. It’s not that weird. 

Post # 25
Member
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I vote for 2 middle names! 

Post # 26
Member
284 posts
Helper bee

I was in the same type of situation as you last week. When we got to the office to get the license and realized I could change my name that way I just went with my gut!

I also work in education and am known professionally as my maiden name. However I really wanted to take my fiancés last name. So I decided on first name middle name maiden name (as second middle) new last name. The More I write it and see it on paper the More I love it 🙂 

Post # 28
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I’m having the exact same thought process. I’m a teacher and have been Ms. P for years and am unwilling to let go of my very unusual last name. In fact, about 5 cousins of mine have opted to keep their maiden name because our last name is so rare and we are all girls.

I’ve also dreamed since I started dating my fiance of taking his last name… and equally unwilling to drop my middle name. So I will go from being MAP to MAPG. Four names total. Two middle names.

Post # 29
Member
631 posts
Busy bee

NY is the same way California is – I had to decide what would happen to my name when we went to pick up the Marriage License, a month before we actually got married.

I didn’t actually change IDs and whatnot until later, but I had to decide early too.

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