(Closed) Cannot get credit?posted 4 years ago in Money
- 4 years ago
- Wedding: April 2013
That said, people have given you tons and tons of advice and different approaches to try on your origional question.
Anyway, I wouldn’t let it get to you. It’s feedback from strangers on the internet. I’ll also point out that most of it is not overly personal, although of course a few things are. If you want to reflect on it the info is there for you in black and white, but if not just brush it off.
- 4 years ago
- 4 years ago
- Wedding: September 2015
I get that the bus is inconvenient but sometimes you have to make sacrifices. You are a risk to lenders because you don’t have a steady income. Even if you are responsible, they are going to wonder how you would be able to pay off the debt without a job. It seems like you want to keep making excuses instead of working to fix your situation.
- 4 years ago
You spend $500 to $1000 on books and groceries every month? Don’t you just buy books once a semester? And yes, I know how much things cost, because I am an adult, with a job and a family, who pays her own bills and doesn’t get free rent or free money from her parents. You aren’t super special for paying your own college. Lots of people do that.
Again, why don’t you just go to school in Europe, where it’s MUCH cheaper and you are actually able to live/work/etc? Why spend so much money at some random school in Florida that doesn’t even have the major you want?
- 4 years ago
I think you should get off the bee for a few days, and go knock on some doors based on the advice you got here.
- 4 years ago
OP, I think
You asked “Why does everyone hate me on this website? I haven’t been mean or rude to anyone. I have been struggling these past weeks with my confidence a lot, and I have been trying to rebuild it and reading all of this just makes me feel worse about myself. I don’t understand what you guys get out of making me feel worse.”
She said: “In all honesty, it’s because you come off as a little of touch. For example, you have many people supporting you (your family and your boyfriend) yet you insist that you aren’t depending on anyone else. It makes it seem as though you are not very self aware and I think that brings out the “tough love” in people.”
You resonded back to her about your family, and how you’re proud to have saved up for your college fund on your own. And you SHOULD be proud of those accomplishments! But I think her point was about more than that. You’ve mentioned wanting expensive cars, but don’t have any income. You seem upset that you can’t get approved for a credit card, and then get defensive when Bees try to explain to you that you’re not qualified for a credit card (and truly don’t need one anyway). You’ve shown some disdain for public transport, and if the bus isn’t a problem, you don’t seem to want to struggle through a longer commute.
I’m truly not trying to be harsh, but I’m trying to help you understand why some Bees have had pretty negative knee jerk reactions to your post. Especially for Bees who have struggled themselves (some with truly NO parental support), your posts seem out of touch with realty.
Have you heard the phrase “first world problems”? It’s like that. While we ALL complain about “first world problems” on here, many people say things like “I know this is a first world problem, but I’m bummed that I can’t afford the car I really want!” The way you’ve phrased some of your replies sounds as if you’re complaining that you can’t afford a $15k car even though you’re an unemployed 22 year old student, and “it’s not fair”.
See how the perspective changes when you phrase it like that? From “I know I can’t afford this car, but ugh I really wish I could!” to “I have no money and no job, but I want this car, and it’s just not fair that someone won’t just give it to me!”
It’s the same with the parent situation. You receive up to $1,000 a month from your parents and have no expenses because your boyfriend supports you. When you say things like “I have no help from my family” people who REALLY have NO help from their families may feel like you’re trivializing their struggles (at worst) or totally out of touch (at best).
I don’t think you were wrong to come on here and ask about building credit – at all. True and genuine suggestion for next time – when you start to feel like people are jumping down your back, take a second. Don’t react so quickly. Think about what they’re saying, and if maybe something you said might have hit a nerve. Obviously some people are just being rude. But when you have 11+ pages of people “being mean” to you, it’s probably HOW YOU PHRASED something, not the substance of what you actually meant.
- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2010
Soon2bmrs1: Ding! Ding! Ding! So well put.
OP, FWIW, I think that you, for the most part, accept people’s opinions quite well, but I also think you should listen to what Soon2bmrs1 is saying. It is very, very hard to have people shine light on places where you yourself are blind, especially over the Internet, but when they do, you need to take a step back and allow that to percolate a little–epecially because, TBH, you don’t seem to have a great deal of self-awareness.
You’re young. We are not trying to kill your dreams or rain on your parade, but we are giving you a more realistic picture of life. For one, I don’t understand why you are trying to get a credit card without a job in order to buy a car 2 years from now to use to get to a job that you don’t have. That is crazy talk to me. Last time you posted about a job that you weren’t qualified for, and one of the main reasons was that you couldn’t drive and you didn’t have a car–is that what prompted this plan? Dear, you needed a car and a license for that job. You certainly don’t need to drive to get every job. Furthermore, a car is one of the WORST “investments” you can make–and especially a new car. THe second you drive it off the lot, it loses value. It costs money just to own it–even if you literally let it sit in your garage. It costs more money to drive it and then to maintain it and insure it. And you will never sell it for a profit. And this isn’t even something you actually NEED at the moment–it’s for some hypothetical need. The REAL limit of your job prospects is the fact you don’t have a license to drive–and doing the lessons to get one is a GOOD investment. But the car itself is not limiting your job prospects at the moment. What I think a more clear-headed person would do would be to actually secure the job and then deal with a horrendous commute by public transit for the first month or so *while they buy a resonably-priced used car*.
Another tip? If you dont’ like people commenting on areas outside of your original question, then resist giving them more information about your life. You DID ask a simple question about credit, and you could have left it at that: you want to build credit, you’re a student and not working, and you haven’t been successful at securing a credit card. We dont’ need to know WHY you’re looking to build credit, really, or that your mother sends you money or that you live with a Boyfriend or Best Friend or that you pay a lot for tuition or whatever. IF you dont’ want to have people scruitinizing those choices you’ve made as well, then dont’ disclose them.
Can’t speak to other Bees, but I don’t “hate you.” I wouldn’t bother if I did 🙂
- 4 years ago
- Wedding: November 2013
Ok I’m going to give it one last shot here and this will be the last time I comment on one of your posts.
You can’t get a “normal” starter job (like a Starbucks barista) and you can’t get a credit card and you can’t get student loans because you’re an international student.
The system works like this: the US easily gives out student visas so that international students can come here and get a world class education so they can take that knowledge back to their home country and use it there. All of those restrictions you talk about (only being able to work part-time, only being eligible for a work visa if you come from an exemplary school and have extra-ordinary abilities, not being eligible for candy coated CCs) are put in place exactly to prevent students from staying in the US once they’re done with college. If you don’t have some credit built up no one will rent you an apartment. If you don’t have any credit, can’t get a normal job, can’t get sponsored…you go home. Which is EXACTLY what the system is built for. Your SSN says not authorized for employment right? Because they give you special ones when you have internships so they can collect taxes but NOT so you can work normally. In fact if you link that SSN to your bank account, utilities and whatever CC you can get, it will NOT get reported to the proper institutions so you’ll have a credit score. Don’t believe me? Ask your banker. Go over to credit karma and put in your SSN and see what happens then. That’s why every CC you’re applying for is denying your request. You’re a fiscal ghost in the system.
Only when you get a “real” job that requires a company to sponsor you and give you a work visa so your SSN changes to a ‘normal’ number would any of your payments actually count for anything in terms of building credit.
I know this sounds harsh but I swear it’s the truth.
Signed, a former international student.
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