Post # 1
My fiancé and I have been engaged for 4 years.. And for the entire time I’ve wanted to elope, but finance won’t consider it.. There’s so many reasons for wanting to elope (major family issues, costs and I feel like our wedding should be about us. Not everyone else). We were planning a smalwe wedding of 30 people anyway, but the idea sits uncomfortably with me.
fiance says he wants to do u “properly” … Isn’t properly just us being ,arrived at the end? I want to be married, be his wife, a wedding isn’t so much a priority. Should I just suck it up and have a wedding anyway? Despite the trouble (family and financial) it will cause?
Post # 3
It sounds like the two of you need to compromise.
You might want to elope and have the event be just the two of you, but he might want a huge, 100+ person party, so it sounds like having a small get together of around 20-30 people might be a good compromise.
Can you have a private ceremony with just the two of you and then throw a small reception afterwards with close friends and family?
Also, what are the reasons he DOESN’T want to elope?
I only ask because my fiance wanted to elope at first but I did not. My mom has health problems that make it pretty much impossible for her to travel and I couldn’t imagine getting married without my mom present. So we compromised.
Ultimately I think it needs to be some give and take on both your parts.
Post # 4
@stace126 were mere already planning a small wedding of 30 people. His reason is that he o ly wants to get married once and he wants to do it properly. He dosnt feel as if it would be doing it “properly” to elope.. I’m okay with a compromise, I’m just not sure wown pence would be yet..
I just want to be married to my best friend!
Post # 5
@Brooke1226: It is hard and almost impossible if he has his mind made up. I have always, always, ALWAYS said that I am going to elope for pretty much all the same reasons you have listed. Well, we got engaged and all of a sudden, we are having a wedding. We have been together almost five years and he knows how I feel about it too.
It will be a small family only wedding but not the wedding I have always dreamed of. We have gotten into a lot of “disagreements” over this and have essentially decided that he and his mom are planning our wedding (honestly, I am doing his part – no flipping surprise). I just got to the point where I was like, “Why to f am I stressed about a wedding that I didn’t want in the first place especially when I ask for his opinion and his response is, ‘Whatever you want, I don’t care.'”
Well, every time we need to get something done and I have to remind him 100 times and he gets upset with me, I remind him that I never wanted a wedding and he asked for it. He also owes me BIG TIME now.
His parents are also paying for 75% or more of the wedding because they wanted it in the first place.
I am sorry to say that this may be a losing battle but I don’t give in easily and still try to convince him to elope even though we are less than 3 months away from our unnecessarily “big” day.
Post # 6
@neyla8503, I feel your pain! I’ve always pictured getting married in the top of a mountain somewhere cold, with just the man I was marrying.. I’m having a hadd time with this, A (my fiancé) said he’d consider it, but I think we both know he’s already made up his mind.
Im sorry that you’re having tcompromise in such a big way, I hope it works out for you and your wedding is beautiful, no matter what or where!
Post # 7
@Brooke1226: i say you should make it clear that you don’t really want a wedding. I think that most guys worry that you say you don’t want a wedding now but that you will really regret it and resent them in the long run. So find out if he wants to make sure you have a wedding or if he wants a wedding. If its the former than you can try to explain to him why its not important to you, if its the later then it looks like you have a compromise on your hands.