(Closed) Can/should I convince my fiancé to elope?

posted 6 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
1598 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

It sounds like the two of you need to compromise.

You might want to elope and have the event be just the two of you, but he might want a huge, 100+ person party, so it sounds like having a small get together of around 20-30 people might be a good compromise.

Can you have a private ceremony with just the two of you and then throw a small reception afterwards with close friends and family?

Also, what are the reasons he DOESN’T want to elope? 

I only ask because my fiance wanted to elope at first but I did not. My mom has health problems that make it pretty much impossible for her to travel and I couldn’t imagine getting married without my mom present. So we compromised.

Ultimately I think it needs to be some give and take on both your parts. 

Good luck!















Post # 5
3229 posts
Sugar bee

@Brooke1226:  It is hard and almost impossible if he has his mind made up. I have always, always, ALWAYS said that I am going to elope for pretty much all the same reasons you have listed. Well, we got engaged and all of a sudden, we are having a wedding. We have been together almost five years and he knows how I feel about it too.

It will be a small family only wedding but not the wedding I have always dreamed of. We have gotten into a lot of “disagreements” over this and have essentially decided that he and his mom are planning our wedding (honestly, I am doing his part – no flipping surprise). I just got to the point where I was like, “Why to f am I stressed about a wedding that I didn’t want in the first place especially when I ask for his opinion and his response is, ‘Whatever you want, I don’t care.'”

Well, every time we need to get something done and I have to remind him 100 times and he gets upset with me, I remind him that I never wanted a wedding and he asked for it. He also owes me BIG TIME now.

His parents are also paying for 75% or more of the wedding because they wanted it in the first place.

I am sorry to say that this may be a losing battle but I don’t give in easily and still try to convince him to elope even though we are less than 3 months away from our unnecessarily “big” day.

Post # 7
1193 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Brooke1226:  i say you should make it clear that you don’t really want a wedding. I think that most guys worry that you say you don’t want a wedding now but that you will really regret it and resent them in the long run. So find out if he wants to make sure you have a wedding or if he wants a wedding. If its the former than you can try to explain to him why its not important to you, if its the later then it looks like you have a compromise on your hands.

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