(Closed) Cant afford a ring, an excuse?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: "Cant afford a ring", an excuse?
    No, when he can afford it he wil marry you, even it takes 10 yrs or more : (4 votes)
    14 %
    No, times are tough, give it time : (6 votes)
    21 %
    Yes, If he loves you he will propose to you and find a way to make it happen & not make excuses! : (5 votes)
    17 %
    Yes, there is always making payments on a ring & saving up during the engagement. : (2 votes)
    7 %
    Yes, if he can afford to have another kid with you, he can afford to buy an engagement ring. : (7 votes)
    24 %
    No, give it time : (3 votes)
    10 %
    Yes, its time to move on because if he wanted to propose to you, he would have done it already. : (2 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    906 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    @amber9981:  I think he is planning for a surprise proposal and is just saying that to make you believe you have to wait much longer. Or, maybe there is no money like he says but he can buy a ring and pay it monthly. When Fiance proposed to me he had very little money left because he had lost his job months before, but he still went out and got me the ring I was in love with. He’s been paying per month and finally next month he finishes the payments! Maybe your boyfriend should do that like you mentioned to him, that way he doesnt have to give all the money in full. A long engagement is not a bad idea either because it gives you time to plan and it gives him time to save. I think before you know it you will have a ring on your finger 🙂

    Post # 5
    1663 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I think lots of men have complicated thought processes about getting to the point of being ready to propose– mine certainly did.  It sounds like he is fully committed to you and making that very clear.  It also sounds like he has in his head a certain way he wants things to happen… I would give him a chance to try to have that become a reality.

    Post # 6
    452 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Have you considered moissanite?  Look into it on here if you haven’t heard of it! By using moissanite instead of diamonds he might be able to afford a beautiful, life-long lasting ring much sooner (if money is the problem as he implies).  I encourage you to check out moissaniteco.com

    Post # 7
    5170 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2010

    You would consider your child a “bastard in school” just as you were not married? Plenty of children have unmarried parents. Kids really don’t care about this stuff unless their parents are telling them to care. I think the “bastard” thing is rather archaic and hurtful.

    It is also not going to suddenly become more risky to have kids at 35 than it was at 34. More and more women have their children later now and with better monitoring and awareness have very healthy babies.

    I cannot say what your SO thinks. Maybe he is being upfront, maybe he is delaying, All you can really do is take him at his word, or not. It seems you already don’t trust what he is saying…why is that exactly? I do believe that if a man wants to propose…he will do it, but I also believe that sometimes people have certain ways they want to do it or to be ready. I agree that one should not rush just as they have a child, and should wait until they are ready. That “readiness” can include everything from the emotional, to the financial, to the mental, and beyond. Not everyone agrees with financing a ring, and some find it very important to afford their own wedding (and it sounds like you want a larger wedding), and it sounds like he is one of those people. These are great things, IMO. 

    Post # 8
    7901 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    I don’t understand the point of a long engagement. I’d let him propose when he’s ready. I doubt anyone at school will even realize you and your SO aren’t married unless you tell them. 

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