(Closed) Cant afford an open bar,makes me a bad host….

posted 5 years ago in Food
Post # 3
8444 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@brokeninnj:  Maybe try cutting something else?  Guests generally don’t care about decor, flowers, your dress, etc.

Post # 4
4162 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

As a non-drinker, this obviously wouldn’t be an issue to me.  But do you want to have dancing, is this a typical wedding where you want people to stay late, etc?  If so, I would find a way to provide alcohol, whether it’s a cash bar, $2 bar, drink tickets, etc.

Post # 5
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@brokeninnj:  I would look around at other venues before you decide to go with a dry wedding. At the venue you love so much, can guests purchase alcohol at a cash bar? Or is there no option for alcohol unless you provide it?

Post # 6
1894 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I would much rather go to a cash bar wedding than a dry one. I wouldn’t care about etiquette, id be thankful I could have some wine throughout the wedding. 

Post # 7
3025 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

@cls9q:  EXACTLY. 

Post # 8
857 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I’m looking into venues where I can bring my own alcohol to save money and planning on doing only beer, wine, and hard cider. Is something like that an option?

Post # 10
3718 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@brokeninnj:  If you were to invite 5 people from your guest list over for dinner today, would you offer alcohol?  If yes, then you kind I of need to have beer and wine at your wedding.  If you don’t drink or host with alcohol,  then a dry wedding is fine.

I’ve been to one dry wedding– a pastor’s daughter who had maybe 3 drinks a year.  If I went to her house I’d be offered sweet tea,  so a dry wedding was totally expected.  My wine Wednesday buddy who always has a 6 pack in the fridge better serve alcohol at her wedding.

It may not seem like it now, but the venue doesn’t matter.  The people do. Booze makes people fun. An open bar was the best money we spent. 


Post # 11
11420 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@brokeninnj:  There is nothing at all impolite or wrong  about hosting a wedding that does not include alcoholic beverages.  Etiquette does not require you to provide alcohol to your guests.  As long as you are providing a meal during meal time and also are providing a selection of non-alcoholic beverages, you have more than fulfilled your role as a proper host/hostess.

Post # 12
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I try to be open-minded and as someone who is paying for our own wedding, I’m all about budget friendly and have the wedding/life you can afford.

But I will say this. I’m from Long Island, where people tend to be very snooty about weddings. ( I wish they weren’t, but they are). A bunch of friends recently went to a wedding out of state that was in a very basic/plain location. The ceremony was outdoors and beautiful, and the bride did an amazing job of dressing up the reception hall. Everything matched and looked beautiful, without looking ridiculous. There was a bar, and since no one was driving, we all drank and danced the night away. I will never forget how much fun we all had at that wedding. I don’t think it would have been as much fun or as memorable if there was no alcohol. I hate to say that, I really do, but it’s true. 

I hope you are able to come up with an option where you are able to provide beer and wine at least. 

Post # 13
1894 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@prahajess:  right? Please don’t make me sit through your 4 hour reception with people I don’t know sober. 

Post # 14
658 posts
Busy bee

I think it’d be better to look at other venues where you can bring in your own alcohol instead of this venue. The decor won’t matter so much to other people. As a guest I wouldn’t be stoked about a dry wedding and I would gladly rather be at a not-as-nice venue in order to be able to grab a couple of drinks. And even if you can’t afford an open bar at *any* venue, I’d rather you do a cash bar than a dry wedding. Some people are so against cash bars on this website but I think most people are understanding, especially your friends and family. Also, think about having less people too, e.g. 75-100 if you are planning on more than that, that will cut costs a lot




Post # 15
2375 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

 If you were in the middle of hardcore Bible thumping nowhere, I’d say you could get away with it and not have many guests say anything. But for East coast weddings, alcohol is expected. I’ve never been to a NY/NJ wedding without an open bar, I didn’t even know another option existed until I moved to the Midwest. Even brunch weddings had Bloodys and Mimosas at least. I’d cut flowers, decorations, all the stuff that no one but the bride notices. But EVERYONE remembers the reception.

Post # 16
46641 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Another option is to change the time of day that you hold the reception. Even those who think they can’t have fun without alcohol at an evening wedding, usually manage to get through a brunch, or afternoon reception without it.

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