Post # 1
MY FI and I are going to get married in Vegas. No question, it is both what we want and have always talked about. We initially were going to order a really big suite and entertain our guests in our room. I just don’t know that it can be done though. Everything is such a hassle and so stressful and I just can’t seem to get anything done, and don’t think we have enough money to do anything nice for our guests. I suggested to FI that we just ask our parents, and sibs to come and the MOH and his BMan. He has a very large family, when counting Aunts, Uncles, and 1st cousins over 21 it is over 30 people. He thinks we should let them know when and where and that we aren’t offering a reception, but they can come and go out with us, and have a good time if they want to.
My MOH convinced me to do the same and we were all on board, and were going to come up with wording and lists of free fun things to do, etc… After reading all kinds of things online, I just hear how tacky that is, and if you can’t afford a wedding than you can’t have one. I would wait, but I am an older bride, and will be 37 in January, and desperatly want to start trying to have a baby.
Is it worse to hurt their feelings by not letting them know we are doing it, or not offer anything? People say it is selfish to expect people to come to your wedding and not give them anything. I don’t expect anyone to do anything. I feel like it is there choice and they are fair warned.
I thought about the cake and punch route, but there is an issue of getting space. If I could find a nice space on the strip and offer it and only spend a few hundred, I would.
Any ideas would be greatly appreciated. I do want to go out and do things with everyone as a big group, just can’t pay for it. I am not looking for criticism. The bottom line is we don’t have the money, and his family is huge.
Please help with good (creative) ideas, or similiar stories (hopefully with happy endings).
Post # 3
Why don’;t you have just very close family at the wedding, and then have a backyard party or something simple, afterward somewhere else? That’s what we are doing because we also can’t afford a big wedding for tons of people. There are so many places in Vegas to get married and have a nice dinner after for a small group!
Post # 4
If I was your family I wouldn’t be the least bit offended by you doing this esp since you’re going to tell them up front. They’ll just want to be there for your big day and explain to them all that money was a lot tighter than you orginally thought so if they’d like to come that’s fine just it’s going to be way scaled down.
If they’re truly concerned for your happiness they won’t care. If you do go the big suite route though if nothing else go by a grocery store and get some snack trays of fruits and veggies and maybe finger sandwiches. It would be a fun event no matter what. *Hey if they don’t want to invite me I’ve always wanted to go to Vegas lol I’ll even bring a gift haha*
Yes I think it’s a silly rule too that if you can’t afford a wedding don’t have one. If this was the case no one in my family would be married yet including my parents lol to do what is considered a “proper wedding” My great grandparents got married during the Great Depression. It was a small affair but everyone had a good time. Due to my FI losing his job and me in my last year of college we can’t afford one either we’re doing a simple church ceremony/reception with only cake and punch. It’s better to have a nice wedding without going bankrupt than to have a fabulous one you can’t afford. Weddings are too hyped up as it, do what you want and have a great time.
Post # 5
Not tacky. 🙂 Never.
I think you need to do what you can afford and let the rest go. I know it is really hard (heck, I just got laid off for the secodn time in two years!) to struggle with the idea that you ‘should’ put on this amazing party for everyone.
This may not be a popular idea, but what about inviting a small group (maybe even the one you described without your fiance’s extended fam) and explaining that you guys will buy dessert for everyone at the dinner afterward? Make it somewhere not too expensive, have people cover their own dinner/drinks bill and then pick up the dessert tab.
I would think with it being your close, small group of family and friends that they will understand.
Post # 6
pshaw, my parents got married in vegas at the Circus Circus wedding. Mom had peachy bridesmaid dresses, she rented her dress, and dad wore a ruffled white tux (sweet). They always speak very fondly of their (very, very, very inexpensive) wedding.
Perhaps you could just do a cocktail reception by the pool or something. Most of those places seem like they’d be more than willing to oblige such a small group for quite inexpensively, considering how many people you brought to your hotel. If you don’t want to do just drinks, you could grab a casual yet still semi-nice dinner NOT on the strip….vegas has lots of good restaurants that aren’t tourist central.
Post # 7
Wow! I feel a million times better now. I think being in the heat of it, I sometimes loose my sense of rationality. I was feeling really bad. I am getting married to the love of my life! I am going to be happy.
Post # 8
I JUST attended a wedding in Las Vegas last weekend. The bride and groom got married in the garden at The Flamingo, and had a “reception” in their suite at Ceasar’s Palace. They had a friend bake the cake and it was actually her carry-on luggage at the airport. The went off the strip to find places to get cheap finger foods and punch and stuff. Another relative played the steel drum. All of her friends and family came together to give her a nice budget-friendly wedding. It was a beautiful wedding and she did it on a very tight budget. Involve your family and friends. You will be surprised at home much help you get offered to pull everything off.
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Sweetie- when are you planning on getting married. let’s talk…. we would like to do the same thing-
Post # 12
@bobrien74: If you want to have a cake and punch thing- maybe try to find a hotel not on the strip that has a conference room. If you have enough people renting rooms it could be really cheap! I was once bumpred from a flight in vegas and the hotel we stayed in was a plain la quinta near the strip. everyone was friendly and the rooms were nice enough!
Post # 13
I got married the first time in Vegas & had a chapel wedding. the chapel is yours for the hour or so & depending upon which one you choose, you can likely fit 50+ people. We basically eloped & took 2 frineds with us as witnesses, so we were abl to have a fancy dinner at The Eiffel Tower, but you have many, many options…. If you go “off the strip,” things are even less expensive so you might be able to find a good hotel suite there for much less than you think. Also, even if you remain on the strip, all of the hotels have buffets and cafes that have super-reasonable prices. Check out this link http://www.702wedding.com/reception-halls-las-vegas.asp – package for 30 people includes ceremony, 2 hours buffet, photos & video for $2700 & cake & punch reception is much less expensive. Also, if you have a group of folks coming in & staying at the same hotel, mention it is for your wedding & the hotel might comp your room or offer you a reserved dining area or something like that. Many places will give each guest a Gc for free cocktail or lunch so you could also put that to good use!
It sounds to me like you are having a “destination wedding” so people who are willing to travel & book rooms are more than likely okay with whatever you do because they obviously care about you or they would be traveling to be present at your marriage.
Good luck & chin up! BTW, our chapel photos came out great! From the outside it was a bit dodgy looking, but once inside, we chose a chapel room with stained glass windows and real woooden pews & nobody would have believed it was the same place. We even had garden photos taken in a gazebo outside & they look great… except for one or two where you can see the chain link fenece & a random person or two in the background
Post # 14
I think you should definitely tell them what your doing. That you can’t afford a reception but that they’re welcome to come and hang out and visit. Then they can decide if they want the expense to come out there or make a vacation ofit.
I think it could end up being a ton of fun since you don’t have to plan anything or stress about anything going as planned.
Post # 15
I would tell your friends and family the truth – you want them there but cannot afford to host them. I would get a nice suite (try SouthPoint) and have your friends and family over. Some suites have full kitchens and dining rooms/living rooms. You can bring an iPod and speakers, offer snacks and drinks, and let people come in and out after your ceremony. Maybe get a cabana at a pool if it’s a warm time of year and do the same thing (however, each guest must have a room key to be allowed to the pool).
Post # 16
My mom and I cater weddings at our church all the time and we’ve also done Suite parties. I myself rented a suite at the JW Marriott and it was amazing. 2 bedrooms 1900 sq feet with a balcony that wrapped around the corner with beautiful views of the las vegas strip and red rock canyons. have a small ceremony for a couple hundred bucks (check out http://www.lakesideweddings.com) they always have great specials. If you do the suite thing, you don’t need to have a full course meal. Pop in some tunes from the good ol Ipod and have finger foods and mingle. Your guest will be happy you’ve chosen to share your special day with them. If you need help PM me and i would be more than happy to give you some more input. 🙂 I attached a couple pics of the place that I’m getting married at (lakeside weddings and events, ask for Felicia)