Post # 1
My husband and I were invited to our friend’s wedding back in May. Both we and the bride and groom to be live in Washington state however, they plan to get married in California where we are all from. We were excited and RSVP’d yes immediately as it was months away and figured we’d have plenty of time to save.
Now, with a little over a month to go, our finances are not what we expected them to be and I don’t know how we can afford the trip. The icing on the cake is that my husband was asked to be a member of the wedding party, so we are looking at a tux rental, more time off work and longer hotel stay to accomodate the rehersal etc.
I feel terrible as my husband and the groom have been friends since elementary school and we would love to go. Having done a destination wedding last year ourselves, (which our friends did not attend due to financial issues) we understand how expensive it is to attend and also how disappointing/frusterating it is when your family/friends cannot come or people’s plans change last minute.
Post # 3
If you can’t afford to go, you need to let them know asap. The longer you wait, the worse it’s going to be.
Post # 4
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
Just tell them– they’ve been in your shoes in the past (for YOUR wedding no less!) and they’ll understand. It sucks, but the finances aren’t just going to magically work out, your friends will understand where you’re coming from.
Post # 5
Could you afford to go even if your husband isn’t in the wedding party? Maybe just send him? I think if it comes down to it, and there’s no way to afford, a good friend would be disappointed, but understand.
Post # 6
you have to go. You have to make it work.
Post # 7
@2PeasinaPod: Agreed. Maybe they haven’t given final numbers to the caterer among other things they need to plan. Tell them ASAP, they should understand.
Post # 8
Can you stay with family? or look into cheaper accomadations? or you can be upfront with them and explain your financial situation.
Post # 9
Can your husband go alone, as he’s the one who’s the member of the wedding party?
Post # 10
I would talk to them ASAP and be honest. They will understand since they were in the same boat themselves. Perhaps they can help with defraying some of the costs, such as covering the cost of the tux and maybe the extended hotel stay. We have some friends flying in and we know it is a huge financial burden for them, and FI has already said that he would likely recompensate them the airfare as a surprise because they are very dear friends of ours and we are touched they can even come.
I would also be prepared for them to be upset/hurt since it is a last-minute notice (and I’m sure they already have plenty on their plates) but your DH is also in the bridal party.
Post # 11
I’d send your husband, if possible.
Post # 12
Ouch. If possible, send your husband alone since he committed to being a member of the wedding party.
Do you have friends that you/he could stay with to save the cost of a hotel? Share a room with another couple? Drive down or take a train to save the cost of a flight?
Good luck – I hope it works out for you!
Post # 13
Can your husband go alone? Half the cost and half of the disappointment!
Post # 14
Talk to them asap. Be honest and discuss the various options- not going at all, hubby staying in the wedding party and going by himself, hubby dropping out of the wedding party and both of you going etc.
Who knows?Maybe they have friends or family you could drive with to save $?
Try not to make it their problem but let them know you wanted to advise them of your situation before their cutoff date for the caterer.
Post # 16
If you can’t do any of the options listed above, you’ll have to tallk to them… like now. Right this minute, lol. Seriously though the sooner the better. Don’t wait on this!