- 8 years ago
Okay bees, things have gotten stressful. My parents are still doing the ups and downs of “should we separate or not” and as stressful as that is a curveball was thrown at us a couple of days ago. See my past post if you are interested in the shenanigans of that scenario
My parents told us and wouldn’t take no for an answer that they were paying for the wedding. They held true to this and my mom essentially chose the reception venue that we ended up going with. It’s all inclusive which makes it easy (food, bar, invitations, cake, dj, decor, etc). Great! We had discussed this all and Fiance and I were going to pay for our photographer and the church and my parents were going to pay for the hall and my dress and the flowers.
Then my dad called me a few days ago and mentioned that he didn’t think he was going to be able to pay the amount owed, and the next deposit is due at the end of July. He basically said he wasn’t sure what the situation was with my mom and if they were separating that she was going to be hateful and try to rack up a lot of debt and then want him to pay it if they separate/divorce. He is really upset about this and I can tell just in his voice so I feel horrible. My mom on the other hand things nothing is wrong and won’t talk to my dad to find out what is really going on. Uhmmm…efff. What the hell do I do now? Fiance and I have been saving our asses off to pay for a photographer and church and his tux, etc. We had a major setback in savings because he had to have surgery last month and will be out of commission for going to work for at least another month. We’ve crunched the numbers and there is just no way we would be able to save this amount by January. Even with, part time jobs, cutting our budget, selling some of lovely second hand stuff we own, lol, etc. I know we have the option of trying to get a loan, and we may have to do that but I just don’t know what to do right now.
I have contacted the venue coordinator and let her know part of the situation and asked if it was at all possible to either negotiate the package we have to make it a bit less expensive or to postpone the date. I am waiting to hear back but my head is spinning. As a bonus point the only thing besides the $2500 that has been put down on the reception hall is my dress and deposits to a photog (who would be able to change the date if necessary) and the church (who also said it wouldn’t be a problem to switch the date).
Please please do not judge the fact that my parents offered to and planned to pay for my wedding. We are SO greatful it’s not even funny, for their generosity with it all. It was totally unexpected and was allowing us to get married sooner than we would’ve on our own.
But for anyone who has been through a cancellation/postponing a venue or big wedding changes, can you offer me any advice on what we could do instead or alternately?
I’m just stressing and need some help to calm down and rationally decide what we can do at this point.